Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Be Yourself: Another Cardinal Rule

I've posted before about The Cardinal Rules of Open Adoption, which are things that we as adoptive couples shouldn't do with regards to our birth families.  Well, here is something that we shouldn't do to other adoptive couples (because it not only creates contention with other couples, it negatively impacts birth families too):

Never PlagiarizeBe honest and be yourself.  Never copy-and-paste blog posts without giving credit to the author.  (It's nice to get permission from the author to re-publish their stuff, nevertheless, give credit by linking back to the author's original blog post!)

And certainly (I never thought I'd have to say this) never ever copy-and-paste any part of another couple's birth parent letter, or any other part of their profile into your profile or blog. 

Birth parent letters, profiles and blogs should be individualized glimpses of who you are, and it would be hurtful and deceptive to potential birth parents and to Adoption itself to portray yourself as someone else.

Can you imagine the confusion and distrust that would occur to a potential birth mom who found two identical birth parent letters?  [News Flash:  Potential birth moms read lots of other adoption blogs and profiles.]

I've been plagiarized before, multiple times.  (I seeee you and what you've done!)  But it wasn't until I read on Facebook about another adoptive mom who had been plagiarized, and I saw others comment that they too, had their birth parent letter or blog copied by another couple, that I realized how big this problem might be.

The bottom line is, if you are hoping to adopt: be confident of who you are; be yourself.  A large portion of the waiting couples are a lot alike and have a lot in common (especially in the LDSFS world).  Why in the world would you want any part of your profile to be exactly like someone else's?  Don't be afraid to showcase what makes you different- how else will you stand out among the rest?

However, if that thought frightens you, and you're not comfortable showing potential birth parents who you really are, you probably shouldn't be adopting.

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