Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Topics...I want to hear from you...

 Picture via online

Hey everyone...I hope you have been enjoying the topics of the posts we have been giving you to read lately...I really want this blog to be unique and not like what everyone else typically talks about....well some stuff will be the same but I want it to have a different flair to it...I want it to address real questions and real concerns that you as adoptive mom's and hopeful adoptive moms are curious to know even if it seems "taboo."  This is your family after all and I want you to feel that this can be a resourse to help you know stuff that we don't really even think of until we read it or stuff that we don't know where to find the info. 

I am really thankful for Candace and her posts re: feeding her baby breast-milk and sharing her journey to do so with us.  Many of you might not of even thought that you could do that too or where to even turn if you wanted to. And it's not exactly like anyone really talks about that UNLESS you happen to know someone.  These are the things I want to know too...the stuff no one tells you  when you decide you are going to adopt...

So with that I ask you this...Please post comments today on this post with topics that you are curious about...even if you think they sound stupid or weird or you think you should know already or you just don't know where to find the answer or you think they are considered "taboo" to talk about.  You can even post anonymous if you are embarrassed to ask about it and I will do my best to research it and use my resources to help us all on here...Sound like a Deal?

So excited to hear what you all come up with!


p.s. even if you are reading this after today's posting please feel free to comment too!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

We are going to meet our birthmom for the second time, but we are also meeting her 3 kids and her mom and dad. What is appropiate, to bring them a gift or not. Do we bring our birth mom a gift again or not. We are meeting her this weekend. Thanks

Anonymous said...

I am worried about meeting a birthmom. What does she want to know when we meet? I know that every birthmom is different but maybe there are similarities or things I can be prepared for?

Pink Panda said...

What is the best way to overcome racial differences? I would love to adopt someone of a different race but I somewhat concerned that that child will feel different and not connected to our family. And that I will not know how to teach them about their heritage.

choosingadoption said...

I have two questions. 1) I see the same button on a lot of blogs that links to a specific itsaboutlove profile. Where are people getting these buttons? 2) I have read a lot of birth mom blogs and adoptive parent blogs. I am nervous about the birth experience. Everyone's expectations and desires are different. Some birth parents want the couple to be excited, some get hurt. Some want the adoptive parents to be there for the entire experience, some want the baby to themselves until placement. So I guess my question is how can both parties be sensitive to the others needs and desires? I am not sure if birth parents even know before hand how they will want things to be for sure. I guess my plan is to jsut try and encourage open and honest communication on both sides, but I am wondering if things just happen naturally and this isn't something I need to be worried about, or if someone has advice for how to ensure things will go as joyfully for everyone involved as possible. Does that even make sense?

Stacey said...

I love this idea! You blog is just great and I love what you have been doing.

If you ever need any help or input answering questions let me know.

I guess my question is... When is it okay to move on from the birth parents? I am happy that they have been able to move on but I don't think I am ready for them to :(

Emily and Dan Adopt said...

Stacey! I know exactly what you mean. we have contact with our son's family but his birth mom wants some time to build her own family and I completely understand but at the same time it is hard!!! you can email me if you want itsusdanandemily@gmail.com I actually want to start a group for post adoption families let me know if anyone is interested!

Deanna said...

Emily and Stacey you are sooo on to something..you should start a group or something about that specific thing for sure! How awesome!

Anonymous said...

Well you asked for taboo, so here it goes! Why are there so many families waiting for perfect (nonspecial needs) white babies when there are so many special needs babies and minority children who need families? It does not seem very Christ-like to me. Christ spent considerable time with those who had disabilities or who were minorities or outcasts. There are millions of orphans, and thousands of waiting LDS families. Why don't they open their hearts and see these children as Christ would? Every excuse I hear seems rather selfish. We get approached at least once a week with adoption situations, but feel we have reached our max for now. It breaks my heart to see kiddos without the blessing of a family in the gospel (or any family for that matter).
Mom to 8 children adopted in the last 11 years, all minority, all special needs, all fantastic!

choosingadoption said...

I have another one. What about the birthfathers? I have read and heard the stories of tons of birthmoms, and I'm so grateful. But I would also like to know the stories from the male perspective. How is it for them before the birth? at the birth? at placement? post-placement? I know guys are not as wordy as girls which is probably why there isn't as much about them. But I would sure appreciate knowing their stories as well.

Stacey said...

choosingtoadopt I have found this blog that is amazing. It is a young boy maybe 17 that has chosen to place his little girl. I think she is due in a couple of months. He talks all about how he is feeling and what he is dealing with through the process. You should check it out.

http://benjaminsbabydarling.blogspot.com/

Stacey said...

Anonymous.... I can only answer this for myself but when my husband and I decided to adopt we also thought about what we thought we could handle financially and emotionally. I know my Heavenly Father would not give me anything that I couldn't handle and that is why I prayed about what that might be. I have work with special needs kids and adults for years and know how things add up. I would have to put that child in day care so that I could go to work to support that child. I would love to hear more of your story. I think it would open my eyes more. I am one day hoping to adopt again and are not apposed to special needs maybe just scared for the unknown and weather I am good enough.

Jake and Alisha said...

Hi, I love looking at this blog every morning when I wake up to see if there is something new. I have a question, our little guy is due in acouple of months and I was wondering, at the hospital is it just like having your own, the hospital provides everything, (diapers, wet wipes, etc..) or is it totaly different when you adopt? What do we need to bring? Also maybe some birthmom ideas we could give to her at the hospital? Our story is different from others, because we have 6 children. But we knew this is what we were suppose to do and 8 short months later being with lds family services we were chosen by the best birthmom ever. Every agency we looked into they told us having that many kids and living on a farm are our downfalls. But our birthmom said she picked us because of those things. OUr story is one of hope and never giving up. Because that child who is meant to be in your family will come when the time is right. Thanks for your inspired blog. Love it. Alisha Smith

Jake and Alisha said...

Oops, not a couple of months, a couple of weeks. Yeah so excited.

An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House