The one thing I struggle with, and probably will forever, is knowing I am enough. Knowing I am perfect just as I am and that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and my family. What do I mean by this? As we've waited, and continue to wait, I've found myself asking, "what is wrong with me?", "why aren't people choosing us", "why are we having to struggle" and the list goes on and on. It's been a constant struggle to evaluate me and my personal feelings.
I went through a phase where I felt like I needed to constantly update our online profile. I felt like we needed to evaluate and then re-evaluate the decisions we made regarding what we were looking for in a child. Am I rich enough? Do we live in a good place? Do we have good jobs? Are we good looking/skinny enough? I became so wrapped up in the worldly ideals of perfect parents. I felt like I needed to change myself to one of these "ideals" rather than just being myself. I forgot to embrace who I was and what made me special and wonderful. My husband was the exact opposite. He was patient with me and reminds me often that everything will be okay. He also reminds me that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
Because my husband has been an absolute strength to me, I wanted to pass on the strength to those who might be in need.
Here's what I know,
I've learned through prayer, humility, and absolute faith, that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and everyone of us. We are perfect exactly as we are and our children are coming, but we might have to wait for the right people to find us and us them. Patience and diligence are the key! I truly believe we are chosen to adopt by our Heavenly Father and I can't think of any greater honor!