Elise here, still enjoying a lovely va-cay with my family but I wanted to check in and share some of the things that I have been thinking about that have helped me in our journey to adopt. Like Deanna has mentioned before, I am a part of a wonderful group of women in an Adoptive Mom Group. These women lift me up, inspire me and encourage me on when I get discouraged or downhearted. They are awesome and are definitely the most courageous people I know. Many of you out there might not be a part of a group like this or may not feel totally supported by family and friends and maybe you don't know anyone who has adopted so you feel alone. I am here to tell you that you are never alone! One thing that these women constantly remind me of is that the Lord is aware of me and that he has a perfect plan for me.
Here are some of the things that I hold onto:
*Although my friend or sister or cousin is pregnant or someone else I know is adopting, they are not having my baby. My baby is still waiting to join our family. The timing and the child that come are going to be the perfect fit for us.
*I don't want to find any baby, I want our baby. I know that there is a special spirit that is being prepared just for us and I want to do everything that I can to be in the right spirit and mindset for them.
*Every birthmom that we talk to is going to be different, none can be compared to another. I should never expect that my relationship will be the same as my friend's relationship with their birthmom. Our relationship with our birthmom will be as the Lord would have it be for the needs of our family.
*Everything before now has prepared me to be the mom that I will need to be for the child meant to be in our home. Even though I am not physically carrying our child, I will have a special bond with them that I will gain from the nights spent awake with them, the soothing that only I will be able to do and the many wonderful experiences that I will get to have with them throughout their life. Heavenly Father has faith in me to be able to be a mom for this precious baby and I need to trust in his faith in me, that I will have the abilities needed to care for and nurture my child.
*I need to be all in. Like Deanna mentioned before, the only way that I can truly be emotionally and physically prepared is to be fully invested. This is really difficult for me after going through a failed placement, but I know that the Lord is aware of my fears and will bless me with the comfort and strength that I need to push forward in our journey. I have to plan as though we are going to welcome a baby into our homes, preparing in every way.
*Adoption is not easy. It is a wild and crazy emotional rollercoaster but it is all going to be totally worth the ride when I am finally holding our baby in my arms and bringing them home to be apart of our family, knowing that they are going to be mine.
These are just a few of the things that have come to mind in the last couple of days. I hope that they help you like they have helped me. Being in nature the last couple of weeks as my family has been in Yellowstone and seeing all of the majesties the Lord has created, I have not been able to keep the saying "seeing the forest for the trees" out of my mind. If I can keep the overall eternal perspective in my mind, keep the thought of holding my baby in my arms as my driving force, I know that I can overcome all things along this rocky road. It is all going to be so worth it, I just know it!