Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The "Good" List

We've all heard about a bucket list, in fact, some of us may even have one.  The Good List is a spin on this familiar idea.  For those who like lists, this might be the thing for you.
At the education classes provided by our local FSA chapter last spring the final class was called "Finding Joy in Infertility and Adoption" (I talk about it briefly here). I was so skeptical of the thought that one could have joy but I went to the class eagerly seeking enlightenment. To do this day there is one thing that has never left my mind from this short two hour class. We were told of how one couple had coped and, wait for it, thrived! Their story is a personal one but I will share with you one of their tools to success. The "Good" list. Essentially, in order to cope, they would turn things into positive moments. An example would be while visiting a friend they watch her child throw up all over everything after having too much red kool-aid and although their hearts hurt for a child-the good, bad, and dirty,on the way home, this couple would find joy in remarking that they were glad they didn't have to clean that up and add it to their good list. One other tool they used was forgetting about the what-ifs and just living their lives.  Running a marathon, taking vacations, starting projects, going back to school, etc...
To take this one step further, my husband and I combined the two. We set off to the store and bought a package of cork board tiles, cut a cute phrase out in vinyl and hung them in a visible area in our home. We then hung anything that made us happy, made us hopeful, allowed us to dream, or even simply made us smile. We planned vacations, we celebrated success by posting our graduation photos, my husband hung a candy bar wrapper from a treat given to him, and we collected memorabilia from dates around town. In taking time to appreciate the small things we grew to be grateful for a time in our lives where we were forced to let go of our lives and chart our new directions. It has also allowed us to be grateful for the many blessings that we do have.  It has been an essential tool in moving forward every single day.
Whether it be by journaling positive moments, keeping a board like myself, creating a box to hold treasures, or whatever works for you, I would challenge you all to try something like this.
Does anyone have any other tricks of the trade, if so comment below.


Sally said...

I don't have a good list, but I like the idea. I have a "don't put this off" list--things I want to do, but then get stuck in the "what ifs" of this part of our adoption journey.

Dustin, Darci, Britton, & Benjamin said...

That was my favorite class from our last FSA training too! I'm loving your blog posts!

An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House