Tuesday, March 5, 2013

By His light...



I just read Kurt and Shaileen's post...and I am so broken hearted for them...broken hearted is an understatement...As someone that has felt the raw despair of a devastating failed placement recently I know first hand what they feel...It is a feeling that I hope no-one ever has to experience...the feelings are so indescribable since the pain is so immense...

I am not sure why some of us have to experience such severe trials, but I do know that thru these we gain much understanding...we become better people..more resilient people...more compassionate people...more understanding people...we become who Heavenly Father wants us to ultimately be... Heavenly Father does not forget what we endure...even if we have at times felt forsaken...He is there...

In the days after what happened in our placement reversal with Emerson...I felt numb, I had no desire to eat, I felt forgotten at times, I felt love and peace even though I felt such pain, I would have waves of tears that would hit, when I noticed I was ok I felt guilty because I was so so sad, I felt like I was living in a paused nightmare-like dream so to say...thru this pain Heavenly Father was able to show me how much James and I are loved...how everyone cared so much for us even though we were barely communicating with anyone...he showed me how to ask for help when I needed it and showed us how to allow others to help us...before this I would not have asked... 

When I read what Kurt wrote he reminded me of James (my husband)...both are such incredibly strong men...You can see how Kurt loves Shaileen so much...and how his heart breaks for her pain...I am not sure how to describe how this pain feels...seeing your spouse in such anguish is again nothing I would ever want anyone to experience...Kurt is an extremely strong man...as James, Heavenly Father prepared them to care for their wives...to console them...to strengthen them...to be the one to speak for them...to hold them...

In closing, I ask that all of you take the time to pray for them, pray for K as Kurt asked, pray for baby boy, pray for them to have understanding and peace...for them to feel all the love we and those around them feel for them, pray for them to feel closer to each other and the Savior more than ever...And lastly, when you do read their post please leave a comment...you all have no idea how much those comments on my posts and Facebook or in emails meant to me and James and still do...even though they may not respond at this time they will remember them and it DOES make a difference...

Kurt and Shaileen's blogpost:



3 comments:

brian and amanda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kurt Cline said...

Wow, I pulled this blog up to read it not knowing what is was going to be about. I read the first line to myself and then turned to Shaileen in excitement that it was about us. I told her to stop what she was doing and she needed to listen as I read this to her. That had to be one of the best comments I have ever received. It is so true how much I love Shaileen. She deserves the best of everything. She will be the best Mother one day to our son or daughter. It is true how much we appreciate comments. They mean more than people will ever know. When I got done reading your post I turned to Shaileen and she was in tears and so thankful for the words that you wrote today. I personally want to say thank you for your blog. There is such a high we feel after we read it all of the time. Adoption is such a wonderful thing and they way that you continually talk about it is amazing. THANK YOU!

Deanna said...

:)

An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House