Sixteen and a Mom...

All I know is I just watched this and I am still teary...ALL of you need to watch this.... birth mom's and women considering placing for Adoption should too.  My husband ended up seeing it on TV about a month ago and kept saying "Deanna you have got to find this movie and watch it" I should have watched it sooner but I can see now why it touched him so dearly since Audri had just been placed with us.  I am so thankful for the selfless sacrifice that Audri's birthmother made for her and us...there are no words....

**This is a full uninterrupted version...**

A Birthmother's story...

Why is Tamra, an LDS birth mother, rocking the adoption community?? 

She said "I've seen people tell me after the fact, "Had I known the information, had I heard your story, I would have placed my child [for adoption] and they would have had a better life." I've had people who have had abortions tell me "Had I had accurate and current information, had I heard your story, I would have made a different choice." 

"God was using me to find his family. On this mortal side of things it looks like I shared him with them, but in reality they shared him with me. And the reason is because I needed him too. God got 2 birds with 1 stone: Justin had to go home, but he saved my life on the way." -Tamra

That we may "Not...Shrink"...

James and I had a friend text us last night in the middle of the night about this talk and that it made him think of us...I think the friend probably thought James had his phone muted since it was around midnight when we got the text which means our friend was watching at 1 am Idaho time! lol

Anyways, back to my point...I watched this while I got ready for church this morning and boy oh boy was this GOOD!  I am going to watch it again today so I can gain some better understanding of the talk.  I don't know about you but Elder Bednar has such a way of explaining things that has helped me in the past so much.

As I watched, it made me think I needed to post it here on the blog...I know I am not alone in the struggle of infertility or to grow our family...I know many of you will see what I saw when you listen to what he shared...SO so Profound.  I am grateful for amazing friends that share the love of the Gospel with us...no mater what the hour hay be...We are truly blessed.

-BTW Elder Bednar begins speaking at 19 minutes in...

-Deanna

Being ALL IN!!!

 Picture found via online

p.s. I don't promote gambling I just needed the pict...lol

Recently, I have had quite a few people ask me if we are nervous K ( K is our birthmom) will change her mind since K has chosen us to place the sweet little boy she is carrying or ask "well are you sure about everything?"...and all I can think and say is "I am ALL IN."  I want our little boy to know that we loved him so much from the start...I don't want him coming to our family and us not have put our hearts into preparing for him 100%.  I want K to know that we are "ALL IN" for her.  That we care sooo much about her!  It is crazy how strongly I already feel about her...and this is probably be cause we are "ALL IN."  When thinking of how I should be with her, I have tried to put myself in her shoes and truly think and focus on her...yes this baby boy is what brought us together and is our focus too but she is really my focus right now.  If I am focused on her I am focused on him too...  If it wasn't for her choosing us, he would not be coming into our family.

I know that before K found us I struggled a little bit with this too...I mean I was worried about what if they end up not liking us or don't like something we say or they are a scam or worst of all, our hearts gets crushed!  Then when I was with my adoptive Mom group and we were talking about this...my friend Jaymie said no "we have to be all in"...that baby deserves for us to be!... and then my friend Mandy said some things re: if it is meant to be it will be and if not its not...the part I got out of this is that no matter how things turn out it is important for us to be present in the moment and not be doubtful...Any time we have the fear we must push through with Faith.  Faith and Fear can not co-exist.  I can't be "ALL IN" with fear present... 

 Picture found via online

Since having K choose us, I too have felt this fear...it comes alot since it is uncharted territory for us...but I will say that when I have pushed through with Faith it has been to my benefit many times already...now I know that not every thing is like this in life...but the feeling of knowing I was true to me and how I would be if their was NO Fear at all is so much more reassuring...So with that all I can say is that "I am ALL IN"...we should all be "ALL IN" no matter what stage we are in...