Monday, May 2, 2011

Finding Faith in the face of a Failed Placement...

                                


Hi! Our names are Josh and Elise. Elise is a part of an Adoptive Mom Group with Deanna, one of the new blog administrators, and she has asked us to share a little bit about our adoption journey thus far.

We have been married for 7 years and trying to conceive for 6 1/2 years. We prayerfully decided to begin the adoption process last August and were officially certified to adopt in December. By the end of January we had heard from four birthmoms and by the second week in February we had been chosen by a birthmom who was due in March. Our friends and family rallied and threw three wonderful showers and we went to work painting and decorating a nursery for the little boy that we were planning to welcome into our family! To make a long story short, the baby was born at the end of March and after 12 days on the craziest emotional rollercoaster of waiting, praying and hoping, the birthmom decided to parent the baby.

It was such a shock, we had not seen this decision coming after all of the communication between us and the birthmom and how supportive her family had been. We were looking forward to bringing the baby home and enjoying all of the wonderful blessings and experiences of an open adoption.  To say we were devastated is an understatement. But, equally surprising to both of us was how hopeful we still felt about adoption being the way we would begin our family. So less than 24 hours later, we put our profile back up and began again the search. It has not been an easy road, because even though we had faith that Heavenly Father has a perfect plan for our lives and that there is still a baby out there that is meant to be in our family, we still have been facing the loss of the baby that we met and held those few days in the hospital. We have a room in our house that is full of tiny little clothes and every item of baby furniture one might need and though we know that it won't go unused, it's still hard not to wonder how long it will be before we will need all of it.
Now, nearly a month has passed and we can honestly look back and see how much our lives have been touched by this experience. We have had the oppportunity to become "Adoption Warriors", advocating for adoption whenever we can, sharing our hope to adopt and expressing to whoever will listen how awesome birthmoms are and what a miracle we believe adoption is. There is so much depth to be found from a failed placement because we were so close to reaching our dreams only to end up right at the beginning, back on the search of finding our birthmom. It's so humbling.

We have learned there is so much comfort that can come through the healing powers of the atonement. We have learned that you also have to allow your Heavenly Father and your friends and family in. Elise has a good friend who just lost her mother tragically and she put things in perfect perspective when she said that really trusting the Lord means that we have faith to trust him with the little things and then we will have no problem turning over the big things. We are so grateful for the opportunity to adopt because when else can you witness the Lord's hand so obviously manifested in your life. We pray daily for our birthmom and the sweet babe that is meant to be in our home and are looking forward to the rest of our journey. Enjoying the journey has taken on a whole new meaning...so glad we have each other to hold onto while we make it!
If you or someone that you know has experience a failed placement, we are here to listen, have a few shoulders to cry on and can be reached at our blog: http://www.joshnelise.blogspot.com/. Also, feel free to stop on by to find out more about us to or even to learn a bit more about our story. Oh yeah and by the way, we are still hoping to adopt! Tell somebody! It's going to be awesome, we just know it!!!!

Love & Best Adoption Wishes, Josh and Elise 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Couples who are Hoping to Adopt!!!

Hey everyone!

If you would like us to feature you on our Blog as a Couple Hoping to Adopt please email me!  We will be doing this most likely once a week.  This is a great way for you to get your name out there and have a chance for others to learn about you!

Also,  Anyone out there that is not listed in our Hoping to Adopt List and is certified to adopt already please email me and I will add you to this!

Email Deanna @ ldsadoptionconnection@yahoo.com

P.S. if you don't have our blog button on our blogs please grab it now and place it on your site...the more we get the word out the better!

LDS couples hoping to adopt



Thanks a bunch!

*NEW* Phoenix, AZ FSA Chapter!!!

So my great girl Jaymie has been called to be the new Co-Chair of the NEW (or once was a long time ago) Phoenix Chapter for FSA! We are so excited for this and she is so awesome. She is one of the gals in my Adoptive Mom/ Hoping to Adopt group (I will tell you all more about that in a later post). Jaymie and her husband Jesse recently welcomed the placement of their son a little over a week ago. His name is Nixon and he is sooo cute. She also has a sweet little girl named Henslee who her and her husband also adopted. Both of her adoptions are open and her birthmom's are amazing. So strong and so courageous!

So, to get things started up in the Phoenix area Jaymie has organized an Ice Cream social for all of those that are hoping to adopt or have adopted! What a fun event! No pressure just fun, fun, fun!

Here are the details:
 BTW - Please RSVP to jaymiemaughn@yahoo.com

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Blog Update!

I wanted a chance to introduce myself to all of you...Brittany had asked for some help with posts to the blog readers and myself and 2 other wonderful ladies are going to be contributing to the blog going forward. I hope that as we embark on this journey it can be as helpful and encouraging as the other post have been for me. Anyways, A little about who I am...




My name is Deanna and I am also 33 yrs old like Megan... I currently live in Phoenix, AZ. My husband James and I have been married for 5 years next month. We have a 10 yr old daughter who I had previous to us meeting and being married. James works in Alarm sales for Vivint (formerly APX), this will be his 5th summer and I have been a stay at home mom for Abbe for the last 3 years. I use to be in banking mgmt and retail mgmt before I was lucky enough to be at home.

James and I have been trying to conceive since we married 5 years ago and struggle with infertility. We have never been pregnant and the Doctors can't find anything wrong...which has been really frustrating. We have had fertility assistance and it too has still failed. We are currently in the waiting game like many of you. We have been certified to adopt since September 2010. Since then we have had a small failed placement and a failed fertility treatment. I now feel that Heavenly Father is truly trying to tell us something...and continues to remind me that he prompted us to seek adoption and that he is control not me.

This past weekend I was in Kansas City, MO and James and I had a chance to go to the Liberty Jail...and Oh My Gosh if you ever have a chance to go you need to go...Talk about feeling the Spirit...anyways, while we were there it really hit home for us about our struggle and what Joseph Smith went through while he was there...The Lord truly watches over us and will not give us more than we can bear but at the same time he is Refining us and Purifying us for what He has planned for us. If we don't go through these struggles we may not receive or recognize the true blessings when they are presented to us.

Joseph received the revelations of Doctrine and Covenants 121-123 while he was there...the crazy thing is..is that he did not receive this until he was already there for an excruciating 4 months... shortly after they were released...why did he have to endure this...It really made me think...I think it was so that he would be able to receive what all of us needed to know...If you haven't read D&C 121-123 and you are struggling is someway or another not even with fertility stuff you need to read it. It has really helped me feel more content about everything that we are going through...

I am so excited to be a part of this Blog! I look forward to hearing from all of you and learning together along the way. Talk to you soon Ladies! (oh and maybe hubby's...lol)

Please visit our adoption blog if you would like to know more about me...

Introduction!


Hi! My name is Megan A. and I am one of three new administrators for this blog. I am 33 years old and am a Stay at Home Mother of 4 birth children, ages 8, 6, 6, and 4. My husband and I come from large families and when we got married we knew we wanted a large family as well. We had 4 beautiful children fairly quickly and in 2009, when my youngest was 2 1/2, I was diagnosed with a medical condition that requires me to take medicine on a daily basis. I cannot get pregnant on this medication but I was hopeful that I would one day stop the medication and become pregnant once again.

After a miscarriage and several unsuccessful attempts, we came to the decision that adoption is the way to help grow our eternal family. We have not yet started the process of adoption, but are finding out all we can through research online and through the stories of others. I am excited to take you along with me on our adoption journey as we learn about each step that adoption includes- from having a home study, to bringing that precious child home. I know that the other two blog administrators are hoping to adopt as well. Come along with us, and let's learn and grow with each other as we strive to build Eternal Families.

Love, Megan A.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What Might Have Been (Adoption Phantoms)

I wanted to do a series of posts about what I call the "phantoms" that accompany an adoption.

A "phantom" is the idea of a child that "could" have been a part of our life. The ghost of a child who may not necessarily exist, but who haunts our thoughts; one that we grieve over.

There are phantoms that haunt every member of the adoption triad and I wanted to discuss the different types, how those phantoms affect us, and how we can deal with them.

I have a collection of  posts from all members of the adoption triad, all of whom have different perspectives and experiences.

These women are amazing, and I hope you enjoy learning from them!

Stefanie: An Angel in my Heart (birth mom)

Jill: Memories were Ghosts and My House was Haunted (birth mom)

Alicia: You Know Better Than I  (hopeful adoptive mom)

Brenda: Grieving the Loss of a Baby and a Birth Mom (adoptive mom)

Kenna: The Phantoms will Fade (adoptee and adoptive mom)

Conclusion: Even His Name Would Have Been Different

An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House