Monday, July 18, 2011

Hoping to Adopt Feature!

Dustin and Andrea

Our story starts nearly 8 years ago. Dustin and I were married September 18, 2003. We had planned on waiting a few years to have to children so we could get done with our education. However, after being married only a year and a half, we felt very strongly it was time to start a family. Like most couples, we thought and hoped we'd get pregnant very quickly.

Little did we know what the next few years would bring. As each month passed we thought it wasn't "our time" and the Lord would make it happen when the time was right. It was heartbreaking with each failed attempt, but we continued on with faith that things would work out. When the times got really tough, we started to travel together to take our mind off things and enjoy our time together. It was therapy for the both of us to be able to get away. I felt every emotion you could imagine. I had feelings of inadequacy, denial, fear, guilt, and utter sadness. Thank heaven for a husband who is kind, loving, patient and really good at wiping tears.

After 2 years of trying we decided to see a fertility specialist. The doctor told us our chances of conceiving on our own were less than 3%. It was going to take divine intervention for a miracle to occur. We were given two options, artificial insemination or invitro. We thought and prayed about it and decided we would start with our first round of medication and artificial insemination. We both felt really good about it and for the first time in 2 years felt confident again that we would get pregnant. Sadly, it didn't work. We were devastated. Out of frustration we began to look into adoption, but didn’t feel like it was the right time. We tried artificial insemination again a month later, took a pregnancy test, and found out we were pregnant. Dustin made me take 4 more because he couldn't believe it. Each one came back positive. We were so excited. There was a huge weight lifted off our shoulders. All of the heartache and confusion vanished. We called the doctor and set up an appointment. We couldn't wait to see our little baby.

Two weeks later our world came crashing down. I woke up one morning and knew that something was wrong. I called the doctor's office, they ran some tests and we found out that I had miscarried. On top of that, the doctors found a grapefruit sized cyst on my right ovary, which was caused by the fertility medication. It was horrible. The weight was thrown back on our shoulders and there was more confusion than ever. I have never been so devastated and sad in all my life. I felt that my dream of being a mom was slowly slipping away. Who can mourn the loss of someone who has never been born? The fact that there is nothing tangible to represent the loss actually intensifies the pain and makes the loss more difficult to understand.

The next couple of months were a fog. We spent a lot of time praying and going to the temple trying to figure out what the Lord wanted us to do. We didn’t feel good about going through with any more fertility treatments for the time being. We then seriously began to pray about adoption. A couple of weeks before Christmas things started to fall into place for us. The spirit confirmed over and over we were making the right decision. In December 2007 we met with LDS Family Services and began the necessary paperwork for adoption.

We were approved for our first adoption March 17, 2008 and were chosen just 4 weeks later! Did we just get lucky? I wouldn't call it luck at all. God is in the details of our lives. He has a plan for each and every person on this earth. He knew we needed to move quickly because there was a birth mom who needed to find the parents of the child she was carrying. She needed our support and the Lord knew how much we needed hope back in our lives.

Our daughter Avery was born October 28, 2008. She is a ray of light and energy in our home. We share a very open adoption with her birth mom Andee. She has become a dear friend of ours and a huge blessing in our lives.

We have been approved for our second adoption since May 2010. We are hopeful and humbled to be going through this process again. We love being a part of the adoption community and are grateful for the opportunity adoption has given us to be parents. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has chosen us to be recipients of such a miraculous process.

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