Monday, August 29, 2011

Hoping to Adopt Feature

Brett, Candace, & Sawyer

Our story begins 7 years ago. Brett and I met in an unusual way when we lived on total opposite sides of the world. I was at church one Sunday and I asked my friend if I could borrow a pen. She tossed me her purse and I started digging. I found the pen and I also stumbled upon a small photo album. I did my business with her pen and held on to the photo album. As we sat there, I started looking at the pictures and one picture completely jumped out at me. There was a
picture there that looks so familiar to me but I had no idea who this person was. I took the picture out of the plastic, studied it, and immediately told my friend that THIS was the man I was supposed to marry.
(This was the actual picture)
I knew nothing about him but I felt like my soul recognized exactly who he was. It was the strangest feeling in theworld....yet an awesome one! When I shared with my friend my intentions to marry this cute guy, she told me it would be pretty hard considering he was on a MISSION! What... cute and LDS?? That combo didn't exist where I came from.He wasn't just on any mission either... he was on the London, England mission and that was the same mission my father had served 20+years earlier.
That night, my friend called me with this missionary's address. She felt like I needed to send him a post card or something. By the time I had come home from church, I had already accepted my limitations and put the thought of this mystery man and I out of my mind. I wasn't about to disrupt a man on a mission. Plus I thought it would be awkward if just out of the blue I sent a stranger some mail. My friend kept calling me and bugging me to do it so I decided, what the heck, and sent him some mail. Missionaries love mail right?
Long story short, he loved the random mail from the random girl in Texas. I didn't send him any pictures for a while. We became pen pals and wrote back and forth. After about 6 months of mail, I finally sent him a picture and I was no longer just words on a paper. I had a face. We continued writing back and forth for 9 more months and then he came home. We met at the Dallas airport for the first time. 13 months later.... we were married in the Dallas Texas Temple : )
We both knew we wanted kids early on. After about a year, we really started trying to start our family. After one year goes by, then two, then three, we started getting worried. Everyone around us was popping out babies left and right and we had no answers. We both got checked by several doctors. I had every procedure done in the book including a surgery to get a better
look at what was going on inside my body. No doctor, fertility specialist, acupuncturist, etc, could give us a diagnosis. We tried diets, teas, and more praying then ever! Still nothing. After 6 years of heart break and no success, we decided to try more invasive routes. We saved up enough money to do In-Vitro fertilization. We had an appointment set and at the last minute I just felt completely wrong about it so we backed out. We rescheduled for the following month and when that day came.... once again.... I had the feeling that this was wrong again. I didn't get it.
I was so frustrated with myself. I knew that this was a very righteous desire so why was the Lord "denying" me of my want? (At least that is how I felt.) We had wanted this for so long and now that it was time, I just couldn't do it. My family and the few friends that knew were all telling me that I just had cold feet and that we just needed to go ahead and do it. I couldn't make any sense of it, however, I knew this was not the right plan. As I set there confused and a mess, I just asked myself, what was most important to me. Being pregnant or being a Mother. The answer was simple, I just wanted to be a Mother and Brett a Father.
Adoption was something that I knew was out there but I didn't really know anything about it and it kind of intimidated me. I had heard "stories" but they weren't the most positive ones. After we canceled our IVF for the 2nd time, adoption would not leave my mind. I started
googling agencies to get more info and LDSFS popped up. I requested to be contacted for further info and the next day I got a phone call. Within minutes of talking to LDSFS a girl from work called. I told her about how our plans had changed and we were now going to try the road less traveled..... adoption. She was excited for us and went and told another co-worker of ours our news. When she told this co-worker, this co-worker shared with her that her daughter was pregnant and working with another adoption agency... still in the search for a family for her baby. It was fate.
A week goes by and and then I got a call from my co-worker about her daughter. We talk for a long time. This was all so new to both of us. Her daughter and I became friends on facebook
and we emailed back and forth almost every day. A month later we met with her daughter and her boyfriend in person. Awesome Day!!! There was instant chemistry and love from both sides. By the end of our double date that night, they asked us if WE would be their child's parents.
(Candace, Lauren, Jason, & Brett)
About 4 months later, Sawyer Jonus Frandsen was born : )
Adoption is the best thing that has ever happened to us. We have a very open adoption with our sons birth parents and I wouldn't want it any other way with them. They are family to us.
It's been almost 2 years since our son was placed with us and every day has been the best day of our lives. After lots of thought and prayer, we feel very strongly that it is time to help our family grow again. Sawyer filled a huge hole in our hearts but now that our hearts have grown so much, there is more room needed to be filled. We fill that way is through adoption. Our profile is finished and Sawyer is very excited to be a big brother.
We love life. We love everything life has to offer. We are dedicated animal lovers and enjoy trying amazing foods! We love to travel and travel often. We've learned that sometimes getting lost can help you find yourself. We know life is short so we live our dream and share our passion. We document lots of our adventures on our youtube channel and our blog. We hope you check them out. We still have a great relationship with both sides of Sawyer's birth families and we communicate often. We are so grateful for them every day for taking the road less traveled with us. It has made all the difference : )
Here is our profile on and our email address is if you would like to contact us directly. Feel free to ask us anything you like!
Lots of Love, The Frandsens


Stacey said...

what an amazing story... Thanks for sharing! and good luck

Unknown said...

Love your vidios .miss them so much

An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House