Friday, June 3, 2011

Being Excited while you wait...and wait...and wait...

 Image via online

This topic has been coming up alot lately in some conversations I have been having with my friends and then in Ashley's post (Make room for me)...sometimes or more like, often times we go through this huge process of getting certified to adopt and then we are like "where is our baby"...we expect it to happen right away...granted it does for some...but most of us we have to wait a time before our baby joins our family.   I think it is because we are thinking "ok I have been waiting a long time" (the trying part/dealing with infertility) and we think that as soon as we are certified it is bound to be here...unfortunately, this is not usually the case and that is ok.

Recently, I was speaking to my friend Brielle about this and she had a great way of looking at this...she said "when we get certified it is kinda like we just found out we are pregnant"...or at least we should think about it this way.  When someone is pregnant they are EXCITED the entire time! (well maybe not when they are throwing up...lol)  They aren't thinking "oh...I have to wait 9 months to see my baby...this sucks" no they are thinking "I am going to go look at baby clothes and not feel weird doing it!"  They don't care if they don't look pregnant yet!  Like WE.. tend to tell ourselves when we want to shop for the baby we will eventually have.

They don't think "I am not going to get excited about this baby or do a thing to plan until I know the babies sex or they come home from the hospital"...like WE as adoptive couples often do...They are excited for what will come and are glad to have the time to plan...They don't think about all the bad things that could happen...like WE as adoptive couples tend to focus on...When is the last time you heard a pregnant woman say "I hope I don't have a still born...my friend did"...but when was the last time you heard an adoptive couple say "I hope I don't have a failed placement like my friends had to go through, I hope they don't change their mind."  They don't walk around with tons of doubts...(yes I know there are some but you know what I mean)...they walk around with the thoughts of assumption of this is good...everything will be ok...they just TRUST...

Now, I know we aren't pregnant but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be excited during the process...this wait is like you are pregnant and the baby hasn't been born yet...we need to act like it.  Now, I know if you knew me personally, you would know that I am totally into attracting what I want into my life (law of attraction) and the BEST way to attract what you want is to FEEL the FEELINGS of having it already!  A pregnant woman is constantly feeling the feelings of having it now, way before it is visible or she can even feel the baby kick.  We also can do lots of things to feel it now...Like Ashley said...start your babies room...shop for baby clothes like you would (No one is thinking "you don't belong here in the baby section"...you know you think this! And hey if you buy boy stuff and you end up with a girl I am sure you know plenty of women at church who will have a boy for those clothes to give as gifts!).

Start to talk as if it is happening...Be happy for your friends that are having babies or have been chosen (I know this one is WAY hard) but you would want them to be happy for you...As my friend Jaymie had said last time I saw her "you will have your day."  Let's be present and joyous about these special little spirits that are coming to these families...YOUR baby is coming...

Get involved in something that will help you help others!  FSA is an amazing way to get involved and know people that are on this journey you are on...you never know who they will know!  My friend Kris' birth-mom actually met my friend Brielle prior and that is how she learned of Kris!

I know that when we help others get what they want, we get what we want and usually it happens when you are not focusing on the "why am I not getting what I want" part.  I have to say that for me this Blog came into my life at the perfect moment...I truly love being able to try to help us all in this journey...I love that we have been gaining in our exposure (just google - LDS Adoption and we are on the 1st page!)...this blog is my way of helping others get what they want...I love that I can help you be featured to your possible birth mom or the one that may see your profile and then tell your birth mom!  This blog has helped me so much...and has helped me when waiting...I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and what it has given me...

2 comments:

Darlene S. Little said...

Absolutely Another amazing Post, helping me as a expected Grandma, thanks Again for letting me be apart of the experience of the excitement and coming of this special LITTLE One : )

Love Ya,
Mean It,
xoxo's Grammy D

Stacey said...

I really like this post! I remember feeling like I didn't want to get excited till our little was at home with us. I guess that was why I didn't even have a pack of diapers when we brought him home :( Anyways... We should be excited. Although we don't know when "we" will get "pregnant" it is an exciting time!

Kind of a funny story... Our birth mom found out that she was pregnant just weeks from the time all of our paper work was finished and we started the wait.

An Open Adoption Documentary

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The Open Adoption Project via The R House