A Birthmother's story...

Why is Tamra, an LDS birth mother, rocking the adoption community?? 

She said "I've seen people tell me after the fact, "Had I known the information, had I heard your story, I would have placed my child [for adoption] and they would have had a better life." I've had people who have had abortions tell me "Had I had accurate and current information, had I heard your story, I would have made a different choice." 

"God was using me to find his family. On this mortal side of things it looks like I shared him with them, but in reality they shared him with me. And the reason is because I needed him too. God got 2 birds with 1 stone: Justin had to go home, but he saved my life on the way." -Tamra

You could hear a pin drop...

Not sure if anyone is still out there, checking in on this site, but I have been looking in every once and awhile, feeling guilty that I haven't posted and then ducked back out. My life has been turned upside down and inside out all for the better since our son was placed in our home in September of last year.

 It has been a whirlwind and now that he is 5 months, rolling all around and we are getting into more of a routine, I feel almost ashamed to have not shared the miracle of his adoption and placement with all of you who can relate and those of you needing so desperately to hear a success story to keep pushing you forward in your journey to adopt.

 After having a failed placement last March, I was hesitant with my feelings and found it hard to believe that this baby we were waiting for in September would actually become a part of our family. Also, I think in a way, once we brought him home, I was afraid to jinx it because of how good everything was going. I didn't want to talk about it too much and have something fall through. So, I just tried to relax, enjoy the time with our new little one, count down the days until it was official both in the legal sense and eternally as well.

Our beautiful baby boy was born Sept. 9th and we finalized his adoption on November 19th and had him sealed on November 26th. It was so awesome to stand before a judge and be told that we are in all sense of the word, his "parents". Then, to be able to take him to the temple and see him dressed in white and have him sealed to us was just....amazing, wonderful, thrilling, not sure which word fits best but I think you get the point! It has been an adjustment being home with him after being an elementary teacher for the last four years but it has been one that I have welcomed after wanting to be a mom for so long. It has been an adjustment in every way that people usually adjust to being new parents.

Also, it has been an adjustment learning how to become an adoption advocate in a new way by sharing the story of how our son came into our family. I have been trying to do it in a way that helps others around us understand adoption and why we chose to do it.

However...I hope I can explain this right, without offending. In the beginning, all I wanted to do was tell the whole world how proud I was to have adopted our son (I really am) , how amazing his birthmom is (she totally is amazing, seriously!) and how we just loved every second. But then, slowly as time went on, I began to feel worn out telling strangers at Walmart or the cashier at Target about him being adopted because they would ask crazy questions that made me feel less excited to tell and more sensitive about my infertility. I realized that telling about the adoption, meant also confessing to being infertile because that is just what people assume is the reason we adopted and even though it is part of the reason, I didn't want to rehash all my fertility pain, I just wanted to share how awesome adoption is. So I am still trying to find the balance between being an adoption advocate and accepting compliments politely and taking credit for this little tiny guy as my son without feeling the need to have a deep discussion about adoption/my ovaries in the produce section with the old lady picking out bananas next to me.

I'm not going to quit trying to talk about it though. Because I know that adoption is an awesome thing, it has blessed my life more than I could have ever imagined and I want to educate people on the right language and questions to ask. But I have to learn the right way and the right people to tell and the more I practice in the right settings, the better advocate I will be.

Well, hope that this has helped someone, or at least entertained. And now I will leave you with a picture of my little guy because he always puts a smile on my face so hopefully he can do the same for you. :)
And if you want to read more about his birth and placement story, head over here 

Love, Elise

Hooray For Elise and Josh!

I know most of you don't know, but I heard this this week that Josh and Elise have adopted!!!!  He was born on September 9th!  We are so happy for you both and I know you will be the most Amazing Parents to your new little boy!!!

Did you Hear!!!

Drew and Kristine Adopted!!!  Just this past week!  SO exciting for you two!  Make sure to read all about it by clicking here for their blog!  So Awesome!

Have you Heard!

Nathan and Holly have Adopted!!!  So Excited for them! 

  If you want to see their cute little one go visit their blog!

Two Miracles through Open adoptions

Hello to all the amazing women and men out there that are involved in the adoption world!!

My name is Jaymie. I am a woman of MANY words. (I talk to much) I have debated on how to write our beautiful story of our family in a few paragraphs! Hey who says it has to be a few paragraphs? I will try and keep it as short and sweet as best as I can. 

1st greatest blessing of my life: My Hubby

 I married my high school sweetheart & the love of my life.  The man I KNOW I will be with for the eternities. The man that lights up my life.  The man I know my life will be filled with HUGE amounts of happiness, because he is a part of it. The man Heavenly Father knew I needed by my side to get through life’s ups and downs.  The man that held me while we dealt with our infertility, but also gave me the strength to strive to make a hard situation one that we could learn & grow from.

                                                      

2nd greatest blessing of my life: My Daughter Henslee

After going through all the “fun” infertility treatments over and over we decided that if we were not pregnant by Jan 2009 we would start the adoption process.  Oh wait, did I say "fun" I meant the worst not fun thing of my life! Well, January came around and no pregnancy. The adoption process started. We were so excited.  We planned on going into it wanting a very closed adoption. We wanted to be able to have our “Own” family. We wanted to say Thank you to the birth mom and then run with our little bundle of joy in the other direction.  We were able to attend the adoption academy in February to start our adoption journey. After the academy our hearts were changed. We came away wanting so bad to have an open adoption. I wrote in my journal that night............Today I was able to gain a greater understanding of Birth mothers. The love, sacrifice & uncertainty of placing their baby for adoption. I have a new strong love for them. I now realize this is a journey we will do together with our Birth moms. I want them to be a strong part of our family an important part. I am so lucky to to become a part of their lives and make it to the eternities with them. I couldn't do this journey without them. My family cannot start without them.

 We were then certified July 21^st 2009.  Our profile went up and the very next day we were contacted by Lindsey a Birth mom. We quickly emailed her back. No response back from her. A few weeks later we were then chosen by another Birth mom in California. We were so excited. A few weeks went by and we were then contacted by our caseworker and were told she changed her mind and was not going to place with us. 
The very same night Lindsey emailed us back. A few days later she asked us to be the parents of her daughter. We were able to build an amazing relationship over the next few months leading up to the birth of Henslee.  My hubby and I were in the room when our daughter was born. It was the most incredible experience of my life. Words cannot describe the feeling I had when my daughter I had waited for looked at me for the first time. Time stood still.  

Henslee & her birthmom Lindsey

 Over the next few months we were able to continue our open adoption with Lindsey.  We were in love with our little Henslee and enjoying every second of being parents. Lindsey came over and visited frequently. We loved that Lindsey would be a part of Henslee’s life. We love Lindsey. We couldn’t imagine our adoption journey without her being in it.  Henslee is now 18 months old and getting cuter by the second. Lindsey has been an important  part of our lives through the entire process.We get to see Lindsey once or twice a month and look forward to seeing her each time..

3rd greatest blessing of my life: My Son Nixon

Henslee's birth mom Lindsey let me know in July of 2010 that her good friend Olesia was pregnant and thinking to place her baby for adoption. Lindsey told me that she was going to "talk" Olesia into placing her baby with us. We didn't think much of it because we were parents to a 7 month old baby : ) . The amazing thing is that we knew Olesia. She came to the hospital when Henslee was born. We have a picture of her with Henslee when Henslee was 2 days old. Lindsey and Olesia grew up across the street from each other. Well so a few months goes by and I was out to lunch with Lindsey. She brought up Olesia again. I have never felt a feeling so strong in my life, I knew that if Olesia was having a BOY I knew he would be a part of our family. So we didn't get our hopes up. But I did continue thinking about Olesia, constantly she was on my mind. A few months went by and I sent Lindsey a text message asking her if Olesia knew what she was having yet?? Lindsey then told me she just found out and that it was going to be a Little Boy! Wow chills all over my body.  Olesia wanted to meet and a few days later we went to dinner with Olesia. It was an amazing night. We felt like we had known Olesia forever. Olesia was also adopted from Russia a few years ago, so she is very familiar with the love, heart ache and feelings regarding adoption. After meeting with her I knew in my heart that she would be in our lives forever. We went to dinner a few nights later and that is when she asked us if we would be the parents of her Son. After a few months of getting to know Olesia, going to dinner, movies and ultra sounds we were able to gain a strong relationship with her.  Olesia gave birth to our Son Nixon in April of 2011.  She gave me the opportunity to be in the delivery room when he was born. I gained a deeper love for her watching her go through what she did to get Nixon here. Olesia took Nixon home until she signed papers.  The day she went home from the hospital we received a call from our case worker telling us that Olesia decided not to place and was going to parent instead. We were heart broken to say the least. Olesia decided she would think about it and let us know a few days later what her final decision was going to be. After a lot of prayers and miracles she signed papers at 72 hours.

Nixon & his Birthmom Olesia

We love Olesia. She is a strong person. Not alot of women are strong enough to do what she did. She loved Nixon more than anything in the world. I love that Nixon will always know of the love she has for him.  Nixon is now 8 weeks old and the cutest little man ever.

My Hubby, Me, Henslee & Lindsey

Olesia (pregnant with Nixon) Me, Henslee & my Hubby

Wow the adoption process is a roller coaster!! There is nothing anyone can say or nothing you can do to prepare your self for the emotions, good and bad that will come with your adoption journey. Having had 2 adoptions you would think we would’ve been better prepared  for our second adoption.  NOPE. Every Birth-mom is different, hence every adoption is different. Having an open adoption is a work in progress. We have had our fair share of ups and downs with both of our Birth-moms. But like any other relationship you have to work on it. We have worked and are still working on it and I can say we have an incredible relationship with both of them. I have a deep love  for each one of them and I cherish my  relationship with our Birth-moms. They are the reason I am a mommy today. I will forever be grateful to them for allowing me to raise and be the mommy to their precious children. The journey of adoption is Incredible. You will see the hand of the Lord through the entire process.  He gives us trials to test our faith, to build our relationship with him and to help us grow.   We are truly blessed to have the opportunity to be apart of the adoption process.  We love our OPEN adoptions.  We love our Birth-moms. 

Please contact me with any questions you have. My family blog is http://jesseandjaymie.blogspot.com/. I love to talk about our adoptions. I wish I could share it with the entire world how Amazing adoption is.  Good luck in your adoption journeys! It will be the greatest journey of your lives.

DID You all SEE!

Brandon and Corrine have ADOPTED!   Go check out their blog!  He is soooo cute!  I am so Happy for you both!  How Exciting...and btw this baby is going to be one styling kiddo...love the rockin guitars!!!

Click Here to visit their blog!

Beautiful...this video is...

I just saw this on one of the birthmom blogs I follow...It is so beautiful...you can feel what they feel...it's without words...what an amazing woman she is!  I hope she doesn't mind that I am sharing it all with you...

If you would like to visit her blog it is:  http://myangelsfromgod.blogspot.com/

Our Miracle

I am so excited for you all to meet Brielle!  She is Awesome!  I have known her for a long time way before we even thought of adopting ourselves since we are currently in the same ward together.  She also is the one that helped orchestrate our little Adoptive Mom/Hoping to Adopt group.  If you have ever me her or get to meet her I am sure you will all love her as much as I do!  Thanks Brielle for sharing your Adoption Story! -Deanna

Where to start . . . I always love when people ask me to tell about our adoption story. I get caught up in day to day life and sometimes forget what a miracle I have right in front of me. Telling our story reminds me of how lucky we are as a family and how we received not just one blessing, but two, through adoption: our beautiful daughter Braelyn and our amazing birth mother Jana.

Being a control freak, I'd like to think that finding Braelyn was "all me" but in fact it was Jana who took the leap of faith to find us on Parent Profiles. Not to discount the fact that you should do everything in your power as an adoptive couple to get your name out there, but it really is up to a courageous birth mother to find you. Saying that, there are many avenues for an adoptive couple to be found from pass along cards, to word of mouth, to online profile sites such as Parent Profiles.

We began our journey to adopt in May 2009 when my husband and I first started talking about adoption. My husband surprised me with his enthusiasm by contacting LDS Family Services the very next day to find out how to begin the process. By August 2009 we attended our first adoption conference as a precursor to certification. We filled out the paperwork within a week and were certified for adoption by October 2009. I remember that day very vividly because it was filled with emotions. Realizing that we were actually ready to embrace a child into our home was so joyfully overwhelming.

As soon a we heard the news that we were certified I immediately went onto the Parent Profiles website remembering that our case worker had mentioned that it was one of the number one sites for birth mothers to seek out adoptive couples. True it cost a little extra money each month, but to me finding our baby was priceless. I joined the website and was so anxious to get our profile up and running that I faxed in my first month's payment instead of mailing it in so we could be viewed immediately.

Four hours later I received a call from a birth mother in Philadelphia interested in choosing Ben and I for placement. I was astonished and thought this must be too good to be true. We referred the birth mother to our caseworker and all three of us corresponded for about a week. One day before this birth mother was to officially decide if we were her couple, I received a heart felt email from a birth mother right in our hometown. I would have ignored the email or referred another couple since we were already working with a potential birth mother, but somehow I could not ignore this email. I called my mom crying because I was so confused and I never thought that I would be put in a position to "choose my baby". She encouraged me to at least meet with this new birth mother if I was feeling so strongly about the email. I decided to call this new birth mother Jana and we set up a time to meet for dinner that night.

From the beginning Ben and I made a promise to be honest with ourselves and our birth mother, so I told Jana that we were supposed to hear from another birth mother the next day. By the end of dinner she let us know that the decision was up to us, but she would love to have us be the parents of her child. I called our other birth mother on the way home from dinner and left her a message to let her know that we had met with someone else but that we wouldn't make any decisions until we were able to talk to her the next day. However, we both felt as though we were going to choose Jana because the connection we had with her was so strong and I truly believe that our Heavenly Father guided her to us in that perfect moment. Unfortunately the birth mother in Philadelphia never received the message and forgot our phone meeting the next day. After praying and talking with my husband we truly felt that we had such a connection with Jana and decided that it was her baby that we were going to call our own. We called Jana right away and asked if she would have us be her daughter's parents. She was ecstatic as well as us.

The next day as I went to put our profile down on Parent Profiles I noticed another email from a couple in Indiana that were interested in us. Without a second thought I emailed her and informed her that we had just chosen a birth mother but that some amazing friends of our were also looking to adopt. She looked at my friend's profile and instantaneously fell in love with her and her husband. Seven months later they received a precious baby boy.

We were able to seal our little miracle in July 2010 and it was truly the best day of our lives. You will never feel so lucky or blessed as the day that your little one becomes a part of your eternal family. It's an experience that I wish every family could have.

I am such an advocate for Parent Profiles. Again, there are so many avenues to find your little angels, but please remember that Heavenly Father expects us to do all we can and then He will provide for the rest. I know that our Heavenly Father helped Jana find us because we were willing and searching. It's important that when you join these websites you utilize all the services they offer. Put up as many pictures as you're allowed with captions, write a heart felt birth mother letter that meets the maximum length allowed, and put thought into filling out your favorites list so that a potential birth mother can really get to know you. Remember that these birth mothers are carrying our children and are making the hardest decisions of their lives. The least we can do is put effort into our profiles to show we care and are dedicated.

Again, I am so grateful for my little angel. Braelyn is the sweetest, funniest, smartest, sassiest, happiest, talkative little toddler I know. I couldn't wish for anything different. I just want to thank Jana for making that wish come true. She is and will always be so special to us for the gift she gave. We love her!

If anyone would like to contact us for advice or questions please visit our blog http://benandbrielleadoption.blogspot.com/

Adoption Success!

Please welcome our son

Liam J

10.15.09
9:59 pm
7lbs. 11 oz.
18.5 inches long

Salt Lake City, Utah

Placed in our arms
10.17.09

Proud Parents: Que and Brittany
of Que & Brittany's Adoption Journal

Adoption Success Story: Importance of Following God's Will and listening to the Spirit

Jennie Smith from http://tjsforeverfamily.blogspot.com/ sent me this wonderful success story to share with all of you. She is a true example of following the spirit and having faith in the Lord.

Miracles? Do I believe in them? Yep. Does faith precede miracles? Yep, I don't have to look any further than my home. I guess the place to start is the beginning. We had gone through 3 years of infertility testing and treatments. At each test the words were the same "you guys are young and everything looks great. I am sure you will be back here in 3 months and be pregnant." Well, those months always came and went with no hint of a pregnancy. We were at a crossroads. Do we pursue further infertility treatments or adoption? We did not know what to do. We feasted on the scriptures, especially D&C 9

"Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong…"

We felt the stupor about more fertility treatments and adoption. The only thing we did not feel a stupor on was waiting. We prayed, fasted and cried some tears and then prayed some more. The answer was very clear. We were supposed to wait.

WAIT!?

What?...that is the last answer we wanted to get! I wanted to be proactive. I wanted to be in control and now, I am supposed to do nothing? Don't take my temperature in the morning anymore? Quit researching infertility and all of it's (sometimes hilarious) cures? Don't think about adoption? Keep hoping that every month something was going to happen? But at the same time just do nothing? It was the hardest answer to a prayer I ever had to accept. After many tears I KNEW that answer was correct. I just had to have the faith that this was all in Heavenly Father's hands. Like it says in Alma 32:21, "If ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." We for sure could not see anything. Was pregnancy in our future maybe? Adoption? We thrust our efforts into our jobs and experiencing life with each other. We spent a couple of years working and living in a motor home traveling around our beautiful country. We kept waiting for further instruction and of course hoping each month that something was going to happen. We ended up moving back home to Utah and we started pursuing different careers. My husband went back to school and got his teaching certificate. At the completion of this, we felt a spiritual urge to move. We started looking and the place that felt right was on the opposite coast from our whole family.

TOUGH.

We had to follow our feeling, so we did it. We left all that we knew and loved and moved to South Carolina. At this point we had been married for 7 1/2 years and trying for 6. As we got to our new home, I specifically remember we were hanging out at the beach one day and I told my husband, "I don't think we are going to have to wait much longer to have a family. I just have a feeling like something is going to happen." He asked if I thought I was going to be pregnant. I told him I didn't think so, I just felt like something is coming. He asked when I thought this was going to happen, to which I confidently replied, "In the middle of November." The spirit was speaking to me in such subtle way, still small voice.
At this time I knew I needed to make my yearly OB/GYN appointment and of course I knew it had to be in the middle of November. I called a place that was highly recommended to me. They wanted me to come in the first of November, but I said "No, do you have something around the 15th?"

As the day approached, I was so nervous. What was going to happen at this appointment? Anything? Nothing? Is this another test of my faith? As I got into the old elevator that slowly made its way up to the office, the spirit said to me, "GET READY, YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE."

I brushed it aside. My stupid hope again that something was actually going to happen. As I proceeded through the appointment, I acted cordial and tried to keep my emotions in check. I handed the new doctor all of our past infertility paperwork to which she replied, "Well, you guys look fine, there is nothing else I can do for you." I expected that. Then I told her we had been thinking about adoption. She looked at me and then said, "Hold on a second." She called her partner and turned her back to me. Even though she was trying to hide the conversation, I tuned my ears in and heard, "Have you found a family for that lady yet?"

My heart burst out of my chest it was beating so hard.

She then got off the phone and proceeded to tell me that her partner had been trying to help this lady find a home for her child. She had a family all lined up and ready to go, but just the week before the family backed out on her. This, of course, broke the mother's heart. She was envisioning a great life for this child and now she did not know what to do. The baby was due in 2 weeks.

The partner-doctor came into the room and we talked. He told me more about the birth mother and father and about the baby. It was a boy! The doctor had called everyone on his list of people that were interested in adoption and no one was interested. The mother was heartbroken and not sure what to do. He asked me if I was interested in speaking with her and of course, I said "Yes!!" We exchanged phone numbers and he told me he would call the mother and have her call me if she was interested.

I left the appointment trying not to be too excited. I told my husband the story and he was so elated. We waited and waited for the phone to ring. It eventually did. We were to meet that Sunday.

That Sunday came and I remember it being a perfect day. I shocked myself with the peace I felt. I was calm and happy. We meet the birth mother and birth father. It was like we had known them for years. They were so nice. They knew what they wanted for this baby. The birth father made me cry when he said, "You guys looked like angels walking to us. You just shine"

There was no question in their minds that we were the couple that was going to have the great privilege to raise their son.

The next couple of weeks were a whirlwind of getting a social worker to our home to do the evaluation, find a lawyer, just trying to get it all done. Well, everything happened so smoothly and by the day of the delivery, we were all ready legally. They wanted us at the hospital so our little man could meet his family right when he was born. It was a sweet day. We, of course, loved him immediately and also loved our new friends who gave us the gift of being his parents.

Everything went smoothly and now it has been 3 years and we have this little toddler running around the house. We cannot say enough how much we appreciate this great gift that was given to us. We have a semi-open adoption with this birth family. They love being able to watch Cedric grow up. We love being able to keep in touch with them and let them know what is happening in our child's life. Cedric is wonderful! He is so full of life and love. He loves other people so much and has a light that is contagious.

I have learned much from infertility. One of the lessons that sticks out to me now is how much we have to rely on the spirit. As we are currently waiting for our family to grow, we have to be worthy to receive His answers and know HIS will in our lives.

"The Holy Ghost . . . is our comforter, our direction finder, our communicator, our interpreter, our witness, and our purifier—our infallible guide and sanctifier." Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, Nov. 1996

*On a side note, I am a total believer in passalong cards. I recently returned to the aforementioned doctor's office. They had told me that they had my name on a list of people that were interested in adoption, but somehow I was not really on that list. They had another situation arise in which they were looking for a family and they could not remember our names! They searched everywhere in their office and could not find it. If only they had a passalong card! As soon as we were approved I sent them a huge stack :)

Adoption Success!

Congratulations to Dave & Holly who just flew from Utah out to North Carolina to meet their new baby boy, Miles. He is SOOO cute!

Congratulations guys!