Sixteen and a Mom...

All I know is I just watched this and I am still teary...ALL of you need to watch this.... birth mom's and women considering placing for Adoption should too.  My husband ended up seeing it on TV about a month ago and kept saying "Deanna you have got to find this movie and watch it" I should have watched it sooner but I can see now why it touched him so dearly since Audri had just been placed with us.  I am so thankful for the selfless sacrifice that Audri's birthmother made for her and us...there are no words....

**This is a full uninterrupted version...**

More great News!!!

Rachel and Nicholas have adopted again!!! A Little boy and boy is he wayyyy cute!!

http://rachelandnicholas.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-arms-and-heart-are-full.html

AMAZING NEWS!!!

Amanda - I hope it's ok I posted this, I just loved this photo of you with Ella!

Brian and Amanda have welcomed their little girl home!!! We are so happy for you both...and yes she is such a cutie! Ella Jean was born on March 14th!  Please visit their blog to see just how cute she is and to read their placement story!!!

http://wewouldlovetoadopt.blogspot.com/

Dave and Ashley have also Adopted too!!! They welcomed a little boy!!! Can't wait to hear about how their little one came to their family!

http://daveandashleyareadopting.wordpress.com/

Guest Post-Devin

Hi everyone! We are the Payne's~ Jared, Devin, and Ayden. I was asked by Elise to share Ayden's adoption story! I am thrilled to!

Let me start out by letting you all know we are foster parents. OH! I most also warn you, I'm great at remembering exact dates and times, so yeah... That being said, here's our story.

We got a call about 8:30 a.m. on Mon., Sept. 26, 2011 asking us to accept a placement. This placement was a baby less then 12 hours old! We accepted and later found out that this baby is a boy and other information regarding the case. We brought Ayden home from the NICU about 3 1/2 weeks later. We went on assuming Ayden would eventually go home to his birth parents, even though all "signs" were pointing towards adoption. We tried to have faith that his bio parents would do the things necessary to gain custody of Ayden again.

We would have as much contact with his bio parents as the judge would allow, which wasn't much do to the circumstance of the case. One night (Jan. 31, 2012 to be exact :o) )we went over to where Ayden's bio. great-great grandma lives. Side note: We got her address, and permission from the caseworker to go over there as long as Ayden was not with us. Anyway~ His bio parents where there that night! We just talked, caught up on what was going on since last time we had been together. During this time, his bio mom asked if we had heard they were going to relinquish! Um NO! Trying to be sensitive to their feelings but letting them know how honored we are, we talked more about the details of the relinquishment and what we were all wanting from the adoption. That was one of the most memorable nights of our lives! When we left his bios. we instantly got on our phones and called all our family members. We decided to not tell friends, put it on facebook or our blog until his bio parents had actually relinquished. They did the most selfless act they could have done for Ayden, and they signed over their rights on Feb. 08, 2012. That court hearing was the most... solemn, hard hearing we have yet to attend. I was in tears! We had the honor of legally becoming Ayden's parents on April 16, 2012. One of the best days of our lives!! We were sealed to our little miracle on May 19, 2012.

Now that the adoption is finalized, things with Ayden's bios. are a lot less tense, I'd say. We try to go over to his great-great grandma's about once a month still. We have leave it up to his bio parents when they want to see Ayden. I am friends with both bio parents on facebook. I try to put pictures up regularly, and tag his bio parents in them. We, unfortunately, don't hear from them as much as we would like... but we hope that changes in time.

So that's our Ayden's adoption story. Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Feel free to follow our blog, learn more about us at jndpayne.blogspot.com or email us at jndpayne@gmail.com. We are a pretty open book about fostering, adoption, our infertility... whatever! :o)

Thanks for sharing your story Devin. I thinks it's great to hear about different routes to adopting because foster to adopt is often overlooked and it can be a wonderful way to find your family! Congratulations to the Payne's! -Elise

Guest Post: Elizabeth

Hi, my name is Elizabeth and my husband and I recently adopted our daughter through LDS Family Services. My world seems to have an adoption theme running through it, as several of my extended family members are adopted or have adopted, I spent much of my off time in college working in international orphanges, and I worked as an adoption social worker for several years (in foster care adoptions and international adoptions).  

In a fateful turn of events, when I was dating my husband I told him I never wanted to have biological children because I felt a strong call to adopt. Flash forward several years to when we discovered my husband had azoospermia, rendering us 100% infertile. If that's not destiny, I don't know what is. So why would we choose to go through LDS Family Services when my experience was in other types of adoption? Well, mostly due to cost and wanting to parent a newborn. But I still think ALL kinds of adoptions are awesome and plan to adopt through those avenues in the future.

Anyways, we started the adoption process in late 2010 and were placed with our beautiful daughter Soleil on Thanksgiving day of 2011. She wasn't due until December 5th but decided to come early, which meant catching some very pricey (due to the holiday) last minute flights to Kentucky, where she was born. During the waiting process I constantly prayed for the "right" baby to join our family. I didn't pray for a girl, or a baby with blue eyes, or even a healthy baby. Just the "right" baby. 

When her birth mother chose us, my husband and I both felt a deep sense of calm and peace and....."rightness." As if that was not enough, as we were driving to the hospital on the day of Soleil's birth, my husband commented that it was a nice coincidence Soleil was born on my favorite holiday. Then I noticed we were driving on Turkey Foot road. I thought that was funny too. But when we pulled up to the hospital and noticed she had been born at St. Elizabeth Hospital, I felt the most indescribable sense of the Spirit telling me He wanted me to know that this was all His doing. And of course it was. We love our little daughter and love that we were able to develop a relationship with her birth mother and have openness in her adoption.

Due to California state requirements that you must wait 6 months post placement to finalize an adoption and a hefty backlog for available court dates, Soleil's adoption was not finalized until August 15th of this year. We will be sealed in the San Diego temple on September 8th and are so excited for this day to come! Of course our adoption process wasn't perfect, there were many irritating and frustrating complications with our paperwork and out-of-state clearances. Not to mention the emotional fall out from investing much energy into a situation where the birth mother eventually chose to parent (which ended up being a wonderful thing for her and we are still friends!). 

In the end, it is my belief that all of these things happened for a reason...so we would be led to Soleil. So whether you wait 3 months or 3 years, have a failed placement, or have glitches with your paperwork, I hope you find encouragement in the idea that maybe these things happen for a reason, which is to lead you to the right baby for you. Just as we feel we were lead to Soleil.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us Elizabeth. So excited for your family to be sealed this weekend, what an amazing experience for your family! We look forward to a future post from Elizabeth with advice (as a former social worker) on creating profiles!  -Elise

Guest Post: Lundyn Rae

A week or so ago, I was browing through the local FSA Facebook page for my area and saw a post by an up and coming musician, asking for bloggers who would like to feature her as a guest blogger and in return the readers of the blog would receive a free download of her new adoption themed song "A Better Plan." Well, I jumped on the opportunity to have her on LDS Adoption Connection because I wanted all of you to be able to hear her beautiful song and to support her in her efforts to advocate for adoption through music. So, without further ado, here's Lundyn:

 Consider Adoption: A Better Plan

The other day I was at the mall and stopped to let my daughter play in the children’s area for a while. I was surprised at the number of teen mothers I saw playing in there with their babies. I was proud of them for choosing to give that child life yet I was struck with sadness that they were missing out on things that were essential not only for their own growth but for the well- being of their child. This is true for any young woman of any age that finds herself pregnant and alone. I wondered why these girls chose to parent over adoption and wondered if there is really that much education about the benefits of adoption.

I just happened to pick up an old magazine that surfaced in a recent move and started reading an article on adoption and the healing that had come into all the lives of those involved, including the birthmother, through the adoption process. I wondered why isn’t this perspective more advocated in the media and then the lyrics of a song just started pouring into my mind, that out of the struggle there was indeed a better plan, not only for the baby, but for the young woman.

When my daughter was first placed in my arms I imagined a life of constant laughter, sweet kisses and hugs, dressing her up, having an instant friend that loved me unconditionally, fun play dates at the park, and cute pictures and crafts that covered my fridge. Everyone around me was so excited for my new life and all the joys it would bring. I was so excited for all of these moments. And I’ve had them and each memory is cherished and loved and I look forward to creating more of them. But what people seem to fail to mention was the sleepless nights, endless poopy diapers, what to do when the crying never seemed to stop, and as they grow older, still sleepless nights, new messes of toys, picky eaters, the constant demand of my attention, no privacy in the bathroom, and I don’t think I’ve ever been able to sit and enjoy a meal without having to get up 10 times to get one more thing demanded by a sweet 3 year old. Even as I write this I am having things placed on my head and being barraged with questions, and demanded that I come and get breakfast for her RIGHT now!

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being a mother, but there is no way I could do this without the help of her dad, one amazing husband. With his help in raising our vibrant and beautiful daughter I have still been able to get some me time, continue my education and pursue my music career. Without him I would not be able to function as the loving mother my daughter needs me to be. I would not be able to still be me! Every woman and mother deserves that. Every mother needs a break, a time to rejuvenate, and pursue their hobbies and passion that allows them to continue their own growth and development. It’s not selfish, it’s essential! I am a better wife and mother because I am able to take this time and despite the daily demands still feel like a sexy, vibrant, beautiful girl. Not only do I deserve this, but so does my daughter, in fact it is essential to her well-being. Her happiness is increased by the security of the home we offer, both of us being able to give her love and meet the demands of a growing child. Now I recognize that this is not always possible and I honor and respect those single parents out there. I honestly don’t know how they do it.

 I’m not about condemning or judging those who have chosen to parent or even those that chose abortion. For me it’s about creating the awareness of the positives of adoption for those currently still making the decision. Helping them to make an educated decision what is right for their life and their baby. My hope is that by listening to my song A Better Plan people will truly come to understand that adoption really is about love; A truly heroic act.  And that while the pain of giving up your child for adoption is heart wrenching and excruciating in the moment, there is great healing in the selfless act of giving your child to a loving couple that can give your baby more than you can at this given moment in your life. And though abortion may appear to solve the perceived immediate problem providing instant relief, it brings with it a burden you alone carry for the rest of your life.

Curtis J Young of the Family Research Council says, “Rarely does an unmarried pregnant woman stop to consider the tremendous cost and responsibility of choosing single motherhood. Successful child-rearing, while greatly rewarding, is also very demanding, even for two-parent families. It requires a great deal of time, self-sacrifice and financial expense.”  In her book For the Love of a Child, social worker Monica L. Blume points out, “Almost every birth mother I have ever seen who is choosing to single parent believes she will be one of the very few who beat the odds.”  Many of these unwed mothers count on the father remaining fully involved or on having their own father help raise the child. And many single mothers hope to eventually get married. Unfortunately, such hopes are not often realized. And many unwed mothers find that single parenthood is much more challenging than they expected. Studies have shown that single mothers have higher rates of illness, have less social involvement, and, if they are teenagers, are less likely to eventually marry than those who place their babies for adoption.”

Some may view placing a child for adoption as “abandoning” that child. But adoption is not abandoning your responsibility. It’s taking more responsibility. It is truly taking care of your own, because you’re saying, ‘I can’t give this child what he or she needs, but someone else can.’

To echo Curtis Young, “Adoption is not a breaking of trust but a keeping of faith, not an abdication of responsibility but an act of redemption, not the abandonment of a baby but an abandonment of self for a baby’s sake.” As I wrote in the song A Better Plan, ‘Sometimes love comes at a cost we don’t understand, and you have to trust someway, somehow, it’s part of a better plan. -Lundyn

Lundyn Rae is a country singer from Gilbert Arizona empowering lives to greatness through music.

Go to www.lundynrae.com and enter the code ADOPTION1 to get your free download of the song A Better Plan.

 Isn't she awesome? Thanks for sharing your passion for adoption and music with all of us here at LDS Adoption Connection, Lundyn! Hope everyone will take a moment to go download the song and share it with other's around you in the adoption world! :) -Elise

Guest Post: Amber

So last year I attended the Southwest FSA conference and while I was there I met Amber and her hubby who were just starting out on their adoption journey. Amber wrote an awesome post this week on her personal blog. It was about the questions she is asked about their open adoption with their birthmom and I asked her if she would share it with the readers of this blog. Here is a brief intro:

"Hi my name is Amber, I am 27 years old and a new mommy through the miracle of adoption.My husband and I have been married for 8 years. I am an advocate for adoption! I love spending time with my husband and baby. I enjoy creating new things, blogging, and seeing a good movie. I am just an ordinary girl living an extraordinary life."

Here is the post:

Candace & Amber

When D turned 2 Months old we had a special visit from his birthmom. Oh goodness we were SO excited to have her at our house, and look forward to many more visits over the years. Like I have said before, I love this girl, she gave my son life <3 and she is everything to me. We had a fun time together like we always do :)



D loves his Birthmomma

ADOPTION TALK.....
I know open adoption is a foreign language to many, but things have changed-most private adoptions are open. It is for good reason - is better for all parties involved. Because of my "situation of becoming a mom through open adoption" I have had multiple people ask/say to me things like this:

1. Isn't it weird to still talk to your son's birthmom?

No, it is not. Why would it be? We became close and bonded during her pregnancy, and can you imagine the connection I have to this beautiful soul who gave birth to my son? She is our own angel. Not to mention one of the only people who loves my son as much as I do. It is a joy in my day to talk with her about her own life, and to share what we are doing as well. She is my sister and friend.

2. Isn't it hard for his birthmom to see him or see pictures of him that you post on fb, instagram?

I cannot speak for my son's birthmom and birthdad, but I feel that this is not "hard" for them, instead I think it is reassuring to them, to see him growing, being healthy, happy, and loved. I think it brings them comfort knowing what a joy, treasure, and blessing he is to us.

3. Aren't you worried she (birthmom) will try to "take him back"?

No, I am not worried. This is probably the most frustrating question.... I KNOW my son's birthmom - birthdad and I know their families, I know how they feel about my son's placement with us. I trust them FULLY. AND.....not to get technical, but there are legal steps taken to place our son in our home one being that parental rights are terminated in front of a judge. His birthparents knowingly did this to ensure our son's placement in our family. They want him to be with us!

4. Are you worried about his birthmom "bonding" with him?

No. I am not worried. Why on earth would I (having an 'OPEN' adoption) be so closed minded? My son's adoption is not a secret, to him or to anyone for that matter. Derrick will be taught to love his birthmom because she gave him life. She is a wonderful person, and Derrick will know who she is, and know that because she loves him, she placed him with our family.

5. She (birthmom) must have a rough life to give up her baby

Although there are some women that do have a 'rough life', please do not assume that ALL women who place their baby for adoption are in that catagory. Not only is it an assumption, it is hurtful and puts me on defense mode. I LOVE and ADORE and ADMIRE my son's birthmom. She is extremely mature for her age and honestly has it together more than a lot of people my own age. She knows what she wants to do with her life, she is smart, and she made a decision for her son's best interest - a selfless act that took a lot of careful thought, consideration, prayer, and courage. And please don't use the word "GIVE UP" when referring to adoption. It is so hurtful, my son was lovingly "placed" and his birthparents did not give up on him or give him up.

I hope I have been able to encourage positive thinking towards open adoption. I want to show that open adoption has brought happiness to our family. And to share some insight into this beautiful place I find myself in an OPEN and LOVING adoption. <3 <3 <3"


Isn't she awesome? What a great adoption advocate. I'm hoping she will be joining us as a guest blogger again in the future! Thanks Amber! To read more about Amber's family, check out their blog at throughlovewegrow.blogspot.com -Elise

You could hear a pin drop...

Not sure if anyone is still out there, checking in on this site, but I have been looking in every once and awhile, feeling guilty that I haven't posted and then ducked back out. My life has been turned upside down and inside out all for the better since our son was placed in our home in September of last year.

 It has been a whirlwind and now that he is 5 months, rolling all around and we are getting into more of a routine, I feel almost ashamed to have not shared the miracle of his adoption and placement with all of you who can relate and those of you needing so desperately to hear a success story to keep pushing you forward in your journey to adopt.

 After having a failed placement last March, I was hesitant with my feelings and found it hard to believe that this baby we were waiting for in September would actually become a part of our family. Also, I think in a way, once we brought him home, I was afraid to jinx it because of how good everything was going. I didn't want to talk about it too much and have something fall through. So, I just tried to relax, enjoy the time with our new little one, count down the days until it was official both in the legal sense and eternally as well.

Our beautiful baby boy was born Sept. 9th and we finalized his adoption on November 19th and had him sealed on November 26th. It was so awesome to stand before a judge and be told that we are in all sense of the word, his "parents". Then, to be able to take him to the temple and see him dressed in white and have him sealed to us was just....amazing, wonderful, thrilling, not sure which word fits best but I think you get the point! It has been an adjustment being home with him after being an elementary teacher for the last four years but it has been one that I have welcomed after wanting to be a mom for so long. It has been an adjustment in every way that people usually adjust to being new parents.

Also, it has been an adjustment learning how to become an adoption advocate in a new way by sharing the story of how our son came into our family. I have been trying to do it in a way that helps others around us understand adoption and why we chose to do it.

However...I hope I can explain this right, without offending. In the beginning, all I wanted to do was tell the whole world how proud I was to have adopted our son (I really am) , how amazing his birthmom is (she totally is amazing, seriously!) and how we just loved every second. But then, slowly as time went on, I began to feel worn out telling strangers at Walmart or the cashier at Target about him being adopted because they would ask crazy questions that made me feel less excited to tell and more sensitive about my infertility. I realized that telling about the adoption, meant also confessing to being infertile because that is just what people assume is the reason we adopted and even though it is part of the reason, I didn't want to rehash all my fertility pain, I just wanted to share how awesome adoption is. So I am still trying to find the balance between being an adoption advocate and accepting compliments politely and taking credit for this little tiny guy as my son without feeling the need to have a deep discussion about adoption/my ovaries in the produce section with the old lady picking out bananas next to me.

I'm not going to quit trying to talk about it though. Because I know that adoption is an awesome thing, it has blessed my life more than I could have ever imagined and I want to educate people on the right language and questions to ask. But I have to learn the right way and the right people to tell and the more I practice in the right settings, the better advocate I will be.

Well, hope that this has helped someone, or at least entertained. And now I will leave you with a picture of my little guy because he always puts a smile on my face so hopefully he can do the same for you. :)
And if you want to read more about his birth and placement story, head over here 

Love, Elise

Beautiful...this video is...

I just saw this on one of the birthmom blogs I follow...It is so beautiful...you can feel what they feel...it's without words...what an amazing woman she is!  I hope she doesn't mind that I am sharing it all with you...

If you would like to visit her blog it is:  http://myangelsfromgod.blogspot.com/

A Birthmother's story...

I just came across this Birth-mother Blog and I have to say she is amazing!  For those that haven't adopted yet and want to know more about what your birth-mother may be going through this is a perfect example. Here is her story..

Placement Day

by Brittany M. of Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal.
If you would like your placement story featured, please email either Amanda at wishes4happiness@gmail.com or email me at queandbrittany@yahoo.com.

This adoption (everything included, the whole process) has been the most spiritual experience of our lives. Adoption is a difficult, yet beautiful thing and we are so happy that we chose this route to build our family.

Brad and Brenda were right when they said this while being interviewed on KSL Studio 5: "Regular families out there that give birth to their children- they don't know what they're missing! We've got 3 beautiful children along with their birth parents in our lives."

We knew it had the potential to be such a wonderful thing, but we had no idea how much and to what extent it would change us for the better.

Both our birth mom Brie and her best friend Danielle have said that too about their own lives. Adoption really is about love; the love that our Father in Heaven has for us. It is amazing to see the Lord's hand in this and it is such a testament of His love for all of us.

The four of us have had so many sacred experiences throughout this process, some too personal and sacred to share here, but I can tell you a little about Placement Day.


If you are new to the adoption world, Placement Day is the day that the birth mother signs over her parental rights and places the baby into the arms of the adoptive couple. Our placement took place 2 days after our baby was born.

It was both one of the best and worst days of our lives.

Brie asked that Que and I be present in the room when she answered out loud the (horrible) questions in front of witnesses and signed the relinquishment forms. The caseworkers couldn't believe she invited us in, apparently neither one of them have ever seen that happen before. I think she did it because she knows how much we love and support her.

It was so rough to watch her do it (Danielle, Que and I all stood near her and sobbed) but seeing her do it reiterated to us how much she loves this little boy. In the room, the Spirit of the Lord was so strong and you could tell by Brie's countenance how at peace she was with her decision. Even her caseworker remarked to us outside the room how at peace she was.


During the placement, we gave her a stuffed elephant (the baby has one too; it goes with the matching elephant quilts we made her and gave to her last month), this Willow Tree figurine (because she gave us this one when she told us she had chosen us to be Liam's parents), a copy of the book and CD From God's Arms, to My Arms, to Yours, some letters from us and other family members, a birthstone ring (with her birthstone and his), a digital photo frame (with an SD card loaded with her maternity photos and photos of Liam and her in the hospital) and some other stuff we thought she'd like (like Season 1 of The Office). We also gave Miss Danielle this Willow Tree figurine and a letter that we wrote to her, thanking her for being such a good friend to Brie and to us.

Brie dressed Liam in a going-home-outfit that she and Danielle bought for him. It is SO cute, I think I'm going to put it in a shadow box and hang it on the wall.

This is a picture of Brie's hand (wearing the birthstone ring) cuddling Liam in his going-home-outfit while he is sleeping on the baby blanket that Brie was taken home from the hospital in when she was born. (We put the blanket over him and his car seat on the ride home.)


After that, it was time for her to place Liam in my arms. Again, she just had this peace about her (we know it was so difficult for her, we're not saying that it wasn't at all) (there were tears and all of our emotions were running high) but the pure love she has for her son was showing on her face.

Because she sacrificed her own heart and her wants, and put his needs above her own (which is what a true mother does), he will never doubt the love she has for him.

Right after she handed him to me, she looked at him and told him she loved him and then she tenderly said "See ya later." She is so strong. All I wanted to do was sit and hug her for hours, but it was time for us to let her to go home.

This picture (above) is of Danielle getting Brie ready to leave the hospital. As she was tying that balloon to Brie's wrist, Danielle said "Now if you lose this, I'm not buying you another one." Haha.

This is the two of them right before they got into Danielle's car to go home. This picture makes me tear up- I wish we could have just taken them both home with us!

***The above photo was taken July 3rd, the night that Brie told us she had chosen us to be Liam's parents. (You can see the Willow Tree figurine on the table.)

The below photo was taken on October 17th, the day our family officially grew from 2 to 5.

We are so grateful for the chance to have an open adoption with Brie. We know that open adoption works well for us and our situation. There is nothing wrong with having more people in a child's life who love him.

We are excited to see what the future brings for us.
All of us.