Sixteen and a Mom...

All I know is I just watched this and I am still teary...ALL of you need to watch this.... birth mom's and women considering placing for Adoption should too.  My husband ended up seeing it on TV about a month ago and kept saying "Deanna you have got to find this movie and watch it" I should have watched it sooner but I can see now why it touched him so dearly since Audri had just been placed with us.  I am so thankful for the selfless sacrifice that Audri's birthmother made for her and us...there are no words....

**This is a full uninterrupted version...**

Helping a friend bring their Baby home!!!!

I know this is unusual but I want to ask you all for HELP for our friend Kristina Brown! They are ADOPTING a special needs little girl and they desperately need HELP TO BRING HER HOME! 

PLEASE consider helping them they have 15 days to hit this need to have her!

WE CAN GET HER THERE!!! It's ONLY $2500!!! 

Even if its $5, $10 every dollar counts!!! 

HERE IS THE LINK TO DONATE:  

https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/6Uuyd

Their family was never expecting to adopt again after the loss of their daughter last year and IZZY just appeared so they applied and they were CHOSEN out of 500 families that wanted her!!! So They KNOW the Lord is involved!!!

"Last year our 18mo old sp needs daughter passed away. We pretty much destroyed our savings between her funeral and all the time missed from work while we were grieving. We have since been matched with a sp needs 2yr old in Texas.. We have to make our way to texas for training on how to take care of her sp needs. Feeding tube/brain tumor/ blindness.. We have to pay to fly there aprox 800 with flight and hotel.. then 1200 to 1400 to an attorney and another 500 to fly our daughter and the case worker here...". - Kristina

Please Help them make their Dream come true... Thank you and God Bless....
https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/6Uuyd

A Birthmother's story...

Why is Tamra, an LDS birth mother, rocking the adoption community?? 

She said "I've seen people tell me after the fact, "Had I known the information, had I heard your story, I would have placed my child [for adoption] and they would have had a better life." I've had people who have had abortions tell me "Had I had accurate and current information, had I heard your story, I would have made a different choice." 

"God was using me to find his family. On this mortal side of things it looks like I shared him with them, but in reality they shared him with me. And the reason is because I needed him too. God got 2 birds with 1 stone: Justin had to go home, but he saved my life on the way." -Tamra

Adoption Pass-a-long Facebook Photos!

So as many of you know last weekend I did an Adoption Media Blitz for James and I to find a potential Birthmother!.  All I can say is HUGE success as far as getting the word out and going beyond Viral! I even had a News station locally call me today because a producer in the station saw my page and they want to maybe feature us somehow about our adoption page!  Cuh-RAzy!! (I have to admit I got the idea to do this blitz so to say from my friend Amy's Blog...she posted about it some time back and I knew I had to do this...

Many of you need to read that post on my personal blog so that it can help you in your quest to find your baby!  I know I have been putting somethings in my posts lately that are kinda different but you guys need to be thinking different!  One of the things I did in addition to my post on my blog was to share about it on my Adoption Facebook Page!  This was a key component!  I was also interactive with my Facebook audience and they did a stellar job sharing and liking the posts so that all things would go viral and share thru their feeds!  One of the best ways was with these photo's.  I call them Adoption Pass-a-long photos!  Think about it we all have these cards and yes they are totally great but if you really want people to see your card make a photo version and post it on FACEBOOK!  These have gotten THOUSANDS of views on my Adoption Facebook Page.  How did I make them? www.picmokey.com of course!

 It is important to have a few of these so that it gives your friends a variety!  The more your friends also KNOW you and your story btw the more likely they will share!  People want to HELP people...make it personal!  Facebook is an amazing tool!  Get to know peeps on there, help them, connect them, refer them, and trust me they will help you if you need it! You Reap what you Sow!!!  Be the person God intended you to be and the person others want to KNOW!!!!  (That reminds me...we will talk about your personal Facebook pages on another post...hint: be interesting and Inspiring)

Sometimes, when I communicated thru my page I also attached a photo and sometimes not...And always share your Adoption Page's picture posts on your personal facebook...(I do it a few hours later though so it will show again or maybe in someones feed that didn't see it shared from my page!)

Lastly, This is the photo I changed my Timeline cover to for the ENTIRE weekend.  On both my Adoption Facebook page and Personal Facebook.  I also sent it privately to some close friends and family and asked them to post it as their cover photo as well.

Again, I know we are all on this Road together so I want to make sure all of you know how amazing I think each and everyone of you are!  I know this was a HUGE hit helping us already and may be the key to finding our birthmother and I know it may be the key for you too:)

Til the next post!
Deanna

Adoption Blog Headers and Facebook Covers!!!

Do you want to know how I made this header for my Facebook cover and my Adoption Blog?  

Well, I was googling and looking for a way to fix my personal blog header, my blog has had some technical challenges/glitches (hence why it isn't doesn't have a cute blog background) and I found this blog post on this girls blog that helped me know how to use this site.  I love google! (well for this that is..lol)

The site is called PicMonkey.com !  OMGosh I LOVE IT!! You will too!  It was a little tricky to do the sizing part that she speaks of since I have made my blog wider but it may be easier for you...You can make cool Facebook cover pages too! I feel like I just stumbled on a Goldmine!  It's awesome! 

btw- I put it on my personal page and my adoption Facebook page...hence why I have the blog address on the header...the one on the actual blog does not have it.  Remember, you want as many people as possible to know you have an ADOPTION BLOG and even if someone isn't friends with you on Facebook and you comment on a post they can go to your page and still see your header and that YOU WANT TO ADOPT!  What if they know someone looking to place!  Every exposure helps!!!

-Deanna

That we may "Not...Shrink"...

James and I had a friend text us last night in the middle of the night about this talk and that it made him think of us...I think the friend probably thought James had his phone muted since it was around midnight when we got the text which means our friend was watching at 1 am Idaho time! lol

Anyways, back to my point...I watched this while I got ready for church this morning and boy oh boy was this GOOD!  I am going to watch it again today so I can gain some better understanding of the talk.  I don't know about you but Elder Bednar has such a way of explaining things that has helped me in the past so much.

As I watched, it made me think I needed to post it here on the blog...I know I am not alone in the struggle of infertility or to grow our family...I know many of you will see what I saw when you listen to what he shared...SO so Profound.  I am grateful for amazing friends that share the love of the Gospel with us...no mater what the hour hay be...We are truly blessed.

-BTW Elder Bednar begins speaking at 19 minutes in...

-Deanna

ADOPTION BLOGS!!!

So after some thought and many questions coming at me about blogs I have decided to write a post about starting or updating your Adoption blog!

Some of you may be thinking where do I start... this is hard? or  I already have one now I need an adoption one? or You mean I have to put my feelings or thoughts or info out there on the net? Or I am not good at this kind of stuff! or Everyone else is soooo much better than me at that kind of stuff or theirs looks way better than mine... Well, I will tell you these are all very valid questions or thoughts and some of them may be totally true and some well may be all in your head!

I will say this as I have before in the Social Media post I wrote that YOU need to have a blog!  No, its obviously not required...lol...and yes your birthmother may come to you in a totally different way but it is the best way to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and who you are with others that YOU ARE WANTING TO ADOPT with exception of Facebook but blog posts can be highly integrated into Facebook.  And if you are not on Facebook at this point you need to read the social media post....

So where do you start?

For starters I would say user blogger.com (its linked to gmail).  Wordpress is way harder...well not as user friendly if you don't have a clue what you are doing.  When I started my blog  I had never done anything like it... Blogger is really user friendly and even has simple templates you can use to get started and all you have to do it pick which one.

 **I know many of you already have one of these but everyone starts somewhere!**

What should you have in it or on it?

Well for starters, I want you to look at the hoping to adopt blogs that are linked on LDS Adoption Connection and I really want you to look at them pretending you are an expectant mother looking to place the child you are carrying...Can you tell they even want to adopt?  Can you find info about them that tells you who they are?  Did they write a letter to you?  Did you feel like you already know them without meeting them?  Do they feel feel like old friends or do they seem stiff and uptight...or do you feel like they are your family?  Do they say they want an open adoption and do they feel like they want one?  There is a difference?  Do they allow you to feel what they are going through?  Do they inspire you? Do they make you want to know them more and that you can't wait to read their next post?  Do they have Facebook?  Can you learn more about them that way?  Was it easy to navigate their blog? Was it boring? Was it ugly or attractive?

These are things you MUST think about when you create your blog!  These blogs are to represent you yes, but they are for someone else to read!!! Would you want to read your blog? Seriously!  You need to ask yourself that question... I know I am not a candy coater and with this kind of stuff no one wants one of those...

When I decided to create a blog I CREEPED everyone else's and looked for all the parts I liked and definitely notated the ones I didn't like!

Contact Us!

You must give a birthmother a way to reach you on your blog...Create an email just for your adoption and put that on everything (Facebook, parent profiles, and your blog).  It would be the worst to have a birth mother want you and you never gave her a way to reach you...seriously its a duh! lol

Update Your Blog!

Some of you may not like what I say next but oh well! You really need to have a blog that you actually write on and update!!! Some of you out there have blogs that you call "adoption blogs" and all they are is another version of a parent profile or it's about love.  Although many of these blogs are super cute they are somewhat stale...yes stale (don't be offended just hear me out)...they are stale because anyone can create that and they don't tell a potential birthmother that you are STILL in fact wanting to adopt.

They say nothing about what is happening in your life, nothing about if you did indeed get placed with,  nothing about if you had a failed placement and how it felt, and it usually never says if you are indeed matched?

They say nothing...And worst yet is that when friends of people put them in their blog lists on their blogs they are at the bottom since they never are updated..thus a birthmother never clicks on them!  No one really clicks on these since they are at the bottom...They click on updated blogs...seriously again think as if you are them:)

Allow your posts to be Shared!

On blogger you can allow in the footer for your posts to be shared on Facebook...you want to add this function ASAP!  You have no idea how many times I wanted to share someones specific post and they didn't give this option...uhg! I love to share peoples stories so you want this on there...

This is also how YOU SHOULD share your newest posts on to your Facebook adoption page!  From your adoption Facebook page "THEN" you share it to your Personal facebook page because then your post will show where it was shared from (your adoption Facebook page) and people go to your page and "like" it and then their "like" shows in the Facebook newsfeed of ALL the people that person knows! cool huh!

p.s. see how on this picture the "show shares" box is not selected...you want to make sure it's checked!!!

Lastly...facebook and blog buttons!

You need to get these...create an adoption page if you haven't see social media post....and post these on your blogs...many people blog and they are happy to post a blog button on their blog for you.  You may say "Deanna how do I do that?"  Well, I just googled it that is how I learned I had no clue! But I found you this link and it will walk you thru it:) I also hunted on others blogs and copied their html and added my links and picts.  When you pick a picture for this you will want to make sure your picture shows your faces...make sure you are thinking "will someone want to click on my button?"  Is it boring or attractive! Does it say I want to adopt?  Hint: I used a picture of my wanting to adopt pass a long cards.  I worked great!

These need to be on your blog for others to "like" your Facebook page and be aware that you have one and for them to help you...they could be big time bloggers and have lots of traffic come to their blogs and because you have a button and they "know" your story they post your button on their blog!  Some of my coolest online friends came about because we were creeping each other's blogs and felt like we knew each other already!

I hope this has helped a bunch of you out there and again I am not trying to offend anyone just help...this is like a buffet table, take what you like and leave what you don't...lol...

**I am hoping to maybe have a birthmother write a post as well regarding blogging and Facebook too...if you are one and are interested please comment below or email me at ldsadoptioconnection@yahoo.com:)

-Deanna

By His light...

I just read Kurt and Shaileen's post...and I am so broken hearted for them...broken hearted is an understatement...As someone that has felt the raw despair of a devastating failed placement recently I know first hand what they feel...It is a feeling that I hope no-one ever has to experience...the feelings are so indescribable since the pain is so immense...

I am not sure why some of us have to experience such severe trials, but I do know that thru these we gain much understanding...we become better people..more resilient people...more compassionate people...more understanding people...we become who Heavenly Father wants us to ultimately be... Heavenly Father does not forget what we endure...even if we have at times felt forsaken...He is there...

In the days after what happened in our placement reversal with Emerson...I felt numb, I had no desire to eat, I felt forgotten at times, I felt love and peace even though I felt such pain, I would have waves of tears that would hit, when I noticed I was ok I felt guilty because I was so so sad, I felt like I was living in a paused nightmare-like dream so to say...thru this pain Heavenly Father was able to show me how much James and I are loved...how everyone cared so much for us even though we were barely communicating with anyone...he showed me how to ask for help when I needed it and showed us how to allow others to help us...before this I would not have asked... 

When I read what Kurt wrote he reminded me of James (my husband)...both are such incredibly strong men...You can see how Kurt loves Shaileen so much...and how his heart breaks for her pain...I am not sure how to describe how this pain feels...seeing your spouse in such anguish is again nothing I would ever want anyone to experience...Kurt is an extremely strong man...as James, Heavenly Father prepared them to care for their wives...to console them...to strengthen them...to be the one to speak for them...to hold them...

In closing, I ask that all of you take the time to pray for them, pray for K as Kurt asked, pray for baby boy, pray for them to have understanding and peace...for them to feel all the love we and those around them feel for them, pray for them to feel closer to each other and the Savior more than ever...And lastly, when you do read their post please leave a comment...you all have no idea how much those comments on my posts and Facebook or in emails meant to me and James and still do...even though they may not respond at this time they will remember them and it DOES make a difference...

Kurt and Shaileen's blogpost:

 http://shaileenandkurt.blogspot.com/2013/03/failed-adoption-placement-2.html

We need your prayers and faith!

Shared with the permission of the Little Family:

So so sad and broken hearted...

"Let thy Cry come near before thee, O Lord: give me understanding according to thy world" - Psalms 119:169

I feel very numb at the moment...I have gone through so many emotions in the past few hours and wonder why and can only ask for Heavenly Father to help me understand what has just happened...

There are no words to explain what our family is going through as well as our extended family. PLEASE PLEASE Pray for us...Pray for Emerson....we miss him so dearly already...Jules revoked her relinquishment yesterday afternoon after 4 weeks and LDS Family Services came for Emerson and brought him back to California...

Jules is set to place him with a cousin now...A wonderful cousin who is pro adoption and has even adopted and even congratulated us about our adoption from this blog...My heart is broken...

I PRAY for these cousins to seek confirmation and to pray to pray fervently about this ....

PRAY for Emerson to be surrounded by guardian Angels..I swear he see's them all the time...

PRAY for Jules to REMEMBER why she chose us and the Spiritual experience she had at the Temple and the confirmation she received....

We love Emerson so much and I have never felt pain like this ever in my life...I feel like I have been forced to give my child away, I never made any choices to create this feeling and we did everything right...the only feeling that I can compare to this would be the death of a child...I am a mess...James and I have gone through so much in our quest to grow our family and are at a loss...Abbe is unbelievably heartbroken...Her little brother was taken away, and I have never heard her cry like she has...why would someone do this...please Heavenly Father help me to feel peace and comfort even if I can not understand ones reasoning...

We love you Emerson...It is so hard that you are not here...your sweet spirit..your little lambie grunts, your beautiful blue eyes and baby smell...We long for you to be with us again...

"Lead me in thy truth, and teach me;for thou art the God of my Salvation; on thee do I wait all day." - Psalms 25:5

"Remember , O Lord thy Tender Mercies and thy lovingkindness; for they have been ever of old" - Psalms 25:6

Returning Blog Poster: Adoption and Social Media

Hey everyone, guess what? Deanna who used to be the blog administrator, is getting recertified to adopt. Her and her husband James are an amazing couple and I am really excited to watch their miracle unfold as they search and wait for the baby they have been hoping for to join their family. She has graciously offered to help me out with some posts each week and I am looking forward to getting to read them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us Deanna! -Elise

Since we have been through this process before of getting certified to adopt but took a breather and now we are back on the wagon so to say I thought I would talk about the importance of getting yourself out there and helping a birth-mother find you!!!  There are many ways to give yourself exposure but by far the FASTEST way for ALL of your friends and networks to know you want to adopt is thru social media and FACEBOOK!!!

You need to be "thinking" who birth-mothers most likely will be and how will she see glimpses of us and know we are wanting to adopt?  How does she connect with others... Even people without computers have smart phones and Facebook! Broke people have Facebook! Students and old people have Facebook!  Most likely she will have Facebook!!!  If you share posts on Facebook about you wanting to adopt, people in your network can "like" or "share" it and it shows up in ALL their friends feeds!! These are people you have never ever even met now knowing of YOU and YOUR search to adopt!!!

Current Timeline cover - Change your photos often to reflect you...the timeline photo btw will always show publicly when searched....

Another point to think about it does my post say "READ ME" or does it say nothing....you want to intrigue your Facebook friends to "actually" click your post and visit your blog or Facebook page...Try NOT to post links without commenting above unless it is BEYOND self explanatory...(Ex: your itsaboutlove link and it shows that number id on the link and no comment...people who aren't LDS don't know what that is...I didn't grow up in the Church and if they have never adopted and are LDS they still may have no clue what that is...its not intriguing...it's just a next keep scrolling post)

You have to be thinking what would make them want to read this post assuming they aren't excited about adoption as much as you...if you can do that you are golden!

Here is an example of a post I posted last Saturday!  It helped my page go up 20 likes just that day!  p.s. you can post this also in ALL groups you know that it would be appropriate for others to know so they can LIKE your page and get it into their networks! I have already had people pm me that I never met already because of this!

Deanna Little

December 15 near Phoenix

Hey all of you amazing friends!!! WE NEED YOUR HELP!!! Please help us to spread the word.. We want as many people to know we are wanting to ADOPT as possible so please PLEASE spread the word to ALL of your AMAZING networks here on FACEBOOK!

You can do this by sharing this link or by going to our page and hitting "like."

Your Love and Support means more to us than all of you all know...

https://www.facebook.com/LeapsofFaith

Leaps of Faith - James and Deanna's Journey to Adopt

We are hoping to adopt! Visit our Blog at: http://alittlefamilyblessing.blogspot.com/ Contact us at: alittlefamilyblessing@yahoo.com

Page: 90 like this

As far as when to post on your page or personal FB...Post at night or on Saturday mornings and Sunday Evenings...You have to be thinking when are the most people on Facebook!  If you want them to share your posts you MUST post when they are on!  You want them to share or like when there are lots of other people on too!  Yes, posting at other times it still shows up in their feeds but so does everyone else's that day ahead of you....

I post a lot of stories with in my Facebook as a whole because that is what people like to see...STORIES that include a picture...they don't really care if you got an oil change or had a tuna sandwich for lunch or you are watching some tv show...(I am sure none of you do that...lol)... but you want your Facebook to really tell people who you are (not the fake you the real you) so that they WANT to help you and they want to share with their friends!  You want to help others!  Be inspiring! You are sowing seeds with your posts and the likes/shares are your sprouts!  Don't just inundate them with adoption either...But always be thinking I am a farmer and I am planting seeds... Post LOTS of pictures...use instagram to spruce them up and ALWAYS write comments above them!  Ask the reader questions...on Facebook when someone asks a question you can't say it doesn't make you want to respond!

Think NETWORKING!!!  Seriously...I want you to look at your friends Facebook timelines thinking does this intrigue me, does this say they are someone people want to know or that they are lame and boring and then look at yours and say what can I do to show who I am better...not change who you are but to intrigue people to want to help you!

This is the page I created for us earlier this month...

Now that we are talking about Facebook...lets talk about those you don't know...They need to be able to find you...so I would say if you are wanting more people to know about your journey to adopt that you create a Facebook Page.  Make it inviting and fun...reflecting again who you are!!! Also it doesn't just have to have only your blog posts...have other posts that reflect your thoughts (somehow relating to adoption typically).  This will allow people you don't know to like your page and have your posts show up in their feeds!  Again people you don't know seeing your posts to help you spread the word!...I am not sure if you knew this but the average person knows 2000+ people by the age of 21 now many people on FB have over 2000 friends and if they choose to share your post it shows to all their friends on their timeline!  BTW if you don't have timeline...no comment.

Our current Adoption blog

If you don't have a blog and you are wanting to adopt...you need to get one...the itsaboutlove site is not going to jump out and have people follow it...yes it is a great resource but you can't have people following your posts...updates can't be automatically updated in blog lists on other peoples blogs that way...

That brings up another thing...blogs that get updated get WAYYYYY more traffic than blogs that are another version of itsaboutlove...just saying.

Also, post lots of pictures and make sure you can read the font!!! Scripty stuff is pretty but hard to read...Ask others for feedback.  All the things I said about Facebook about your page intriguing others and if they could really feel like they knew you also apply to your blog...Think "If I was a birth-mom would I feel like I knew them?"

Lastly, once you have a Facebook page you need to link it to your blog!  Our adoption pass-along cards are connected to our blog which then they can connect to Facebook! We also decided that by having only our caseworker and blog on our cards there is no need to update anything else all the time...if something changes like parent profiles it doesn't matter...

P.S. please visit our Facebook page and "LIKE" it!!!



-Deanna

Thankful for mother's who donate what an adoptive mama usually can't give...

So today, I met up with a woman named Jen who I had found this summer.  She was willing to donate breastmilk to our baby...In our process I have decided I would like our baby to have breastmilk and had begun the search for women who are so amazing to donate/share what is so precious for their babies to others who can't (usually) produce it for theirs.

I have been amazed at how many women have had such compassion for us and our adoption process.  I still met with Jen (even though our placement has recently failed - FYI it will keep for a year in the deep freeze) because, you see, now she is moving out of state and I said I could pass it along to a dear friend of mine whose baby is about to be born and Jen didn't want it to go to waste in their move...She was so amazing to say the least.  I felt like I knew her and she did with me due to our blog. She recognized me right away go figure...

I will say what she had to give me is the liquid GOLD of the breastmilk community...colostrum.  She had recently had her third child and was hoping to be able to nurse her and began to pump and did for the first week or so of her baby's life but unfortunately her daughter has some restrictions in her diet and would never be able to nurse due to this but they didn't know right away thus she pumped.  I was soooo thankful that she was willing to give this to me and she has graciously held it during the summer for me since I have been in KC.

I am still so amazed at how connected people feel to me when they read our blog...even when I am getting something off craigslist!  I have my blog address in my email signature even on my phone (of course I omit it at first when I first ask someone about something on craigslist but once I feel ok I let it stay in my responses to them).  So many people have read it this way and they always have compassion and want to help.  I am so thankful for all these wonderful people I have met (due to breastmilk inquiry, an adoption topic, or something even like craigslist) who otherwise I would have never known in a million years! 

p.s. if you are interested in finding breastmilk donors for your baby there are links on the lower left column to help you

Good Things to Come

I know many of you may have seen this video but last night when I saw it again (my mother-in-law posted it on FB) It made me think of our road that we are on with adoption...right now I feel like Elder Holland did with his drive and his car breaking down...Our adoption gets going, we get chosen, we think that placement is about to come and then it all comes to a grinding halt...I know it is part of Heavenly Father's master plan and that allows me to be able to start from the beginning once more and be ok with that...

Knowing I should say something...

Picture found via online

Hey everyone...normally on days that I do not have something planned for this blog I just wing it...but today and yesterday has been hard for me to wing it...you see in my personal life I have had sad news come (our birthmother changed her mind) and I am taking a little bit to take it in...I know I will be better next week...and today is much better than yesterday but still is hard... when I read all of my friends wonderful comments to console me, even though hurts they have helped more than any of my dear friends and readers may ever know...I know it is ok and I know it is how its supposed to be and I know that Heavenly Father knew she would make this decision but it is still sad.  So I figured I would just say something to all of you so you don't wonder why my blog is a little slow for the next few days....also, I will be on the road driving back from Kansas City to Phoenix from Sunday til Tuesday...But the blog must go on and I have a post scheduled for Monday and may have a guest post on Tuesday when I am still on the road...so til then thank you so much for your understanding...

Taboo or Empowerment

Picture via online

The other night my husband and I were out to dinner with another couple and the topic turned to our adoption.  As usual we were talking about how it was going and they were asking questions...then they brought up that they knew a family member and their spouse that had been stuggling with infertility and considering the possability of adoption.  They said how it was hard to relate for them to their family member since they themselves have never had a struggle in this arena...I respected that...It takes alot to realize you don't know how it feels and to admit you don't know what to say.  They also mentioned how this family member didn't really know anyone in this arena...

It was so interesting how I felt so alive speaking openly about adoption and our journey with it thus far...now a year ago I wouldn't have known what to say and would have felt embarrassed or awkward to talk about it.  It is crazy how time and awareness changes us.  I felt like I just wanted to reach out to their family member and hug them and tell them it was going to be ok...That God has a plan for their family and if adoption is the way that is going to happen, then I want them to know where to look and help them to know others who have been where they are and felt what they have felt too...

When we first decided to adopt, we knew nothing, we had family that adopted but that was like 20 yrs ago and it was closed and adoption is so different now, and then we had like one couple friend who had adopted but at the time it wasn't like they were our best friends ya know...I just feel that if I had only had someone to help me along at the begining to know it was ok...to encourage me to be proud of the fact that our child was going to come through adoption...that God was in charge...that it wasn't taboo to talk about...that I wasn't the only one to feel weird at first to talk about it, it would have helped me soooo much at the beginning...

**disclaimer - now yes I know I have lots of friends now that are amazing but sometimes we really need somebody to get really real with us and tell us the raw stuff and help us be strong...or at least maybe "I" just did...but again I can't possibly be the only one...

I have decided that THIS is a topic I wish adoption conferences spoke more about!  ADOPTION EMPOWERMENT (How to feel about Adoption - How to talk about it with others at the "beginning" - How to be proud and Excited in the Beginning and not be scared or feel weird).  How much easier would it have been for you if you had others to really sincerely help you in the beginning to be ok with it...to not feel like a failure since this is your path...that this was God's plan for your family right now and to help you be proud to talk with others not feel ashamed.  I know I struggled sooo much with this at the beginning and I know it does take time to come to terms with things but I also feel that when we have strong friends and guides, it makes everything all the much better :-)

Fresh Air Fund...

This week I had a woman named Sara contact me re: the Fresh Air Fund. In her email she said a little about what it was and gave a website to peek at...so I did and WOW! You might be thinking what is the Fresh Air Fund just like I did. So I clicked on their site and then clicked into their You Tube channel and saw this video...



Sara had let me know that they ARE still looking for families to help...they still need 850 host families for THIS summer (children stay with their host families for up to 2 weeks) ...I know I usually speak about adoption related topics on here but I know all of us want to have an impact on a child or want to help in some way...ultimately, all of us want children to feel love, happiness, and all they should worry about it having fun and being a kid...for many of these children life is not that easy and the struggles that they face everyday are more than many adults have experienced in their lifetimes...

This is so cool...and if I lived in the areas that this program is available I would so be up for this! Think about how you could help these children and how wonderful they will feel knowing someone else cares about them. You can make such a difference...How would you feel knowing that you were the one that helped change it all for them...knowing that you helped them know that life offered more...You can offer them HOPE...HOPE for their future...HOPE for their family or lack of...HOPE for their current situation...HOPE in themselves...HOPE that they matter...HOPE that they can make a difference...


These video's below shows how one choice to host can make a difference in a child's life...







What an impact this program makes...if you would like to learn more about the Fresh Air Fund Click here

I just have to put a shout out to Sara for emailing me about this and all of the wonderful people that work so hard to make this program possible...Thank you so much for what you do, I am sure it means so much to all of these children, their families and the families that host every year!

Just for thought...

I just watched this and it touched me so much...I know all of you will like it as much as me...

Question from Tuesday...

Anonymous said...

 

We are going to meet our birth-mom for the second time, but we are also meeting her 3 kids and her mom and dad. What is appropriate, to bring them a gift or not. Do we bring our birth mom a gift again or not. We are meeting her this weekend. Thanks

This is a great question and I wanted you to know my thoughts before you meet them this weekend...I say do what you would normally do...If you want to get something, then do...I am not sure if you were meaning that you have already adopted and am meeting your birth mom of your adopted child or the birth-mom of the child you are going to adopt....I am going to assume it is she is carrying still and she has 3 children previously...I would probably get something small for the kiddos...nothing major but to show you were thinking of her and them..  

I think that sometimes we as hopeful adoptive couples are so worried we will do something wrong and mess it up but be who you really are...that is who you will be to the child they place with you so why be someone different before or to their birth-mother.  If it is supposed to be she will know the intentions of your heart and if you are unsure say that very thing to her to explain...they want you to love them too just as you will love their baby.  

I really feel that it is soooo important for you to be you...so if you want to get them a gift do so...if you normally might not don't...but also think of if you were her....that has helped me in this journey...I have tried put myself in her shoes and thought what would I want and then I have listened to her and taken mental notes of things she says...she will tell you what to do inadvertently.  Be yourself...she has chosen you because of you so be you...   

Just for thought...

"Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience 

and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, 

and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the 

more precious when they come." -Joseph Smith

Being ALL IN!!!

 Picture found via online

p.s. I don't promote gambling I just needed the pict...lol

Recently, I have had quite a few people ask me if we are nervous K ( K is our birthmom) will change her mind since K has chosen us to place the sweet little boy she is carrying or ask "well are you sure about everything?"...and all I can think and say is "I am ALL IN."  I want our little boy to know that we loved him so much from the start...I don't want him coming to our family and us not have put our hearts into preparing for him 100%.  I want K to know that we are "ALL IN" for her.  That we care sooo much about her!  It is crazy how strongly I already feel about her...and this is probably be cause we are "ALL IN."  When thinking of how I should be with her, I have tried to put myself in her shoes and truly think and focus on her...yes this baby boy is what brought us together and is our focus too but she is really my focus right now.  If I am focused on her I am focused on him too...  If it wasn't for her choosing us, he would not be coming into our family.

I know that before K found us I struggled a little bit with this too...I mean I was worried about what if they end up not liking us or don't like something we say or they are a scam or worst of all, our hearts gets crushed!  Then when I was with my adoptive Mom group and we were talking about this...my friend Jaymie said no "we have to be all in"...that baby deserves for us to be!... and then my friend Mandy said some things re: if it is meant to be it will be and if not its not...the part I got out of this is that no matter how things turn out it is important for us to be present in the moment and not be doubtful...Any time we have the fear we must push through with Faith.  Faith and Fear can not co-exist.  I can't be "ALL IN" with fear present... 

 Picture found via online

Since having K choose us, I too have felt this fear...it comes alot since it is uncharted territory for us...but I will say that when I have pushed through with Faith it has been to my benefit many times already...now I know that not every thing is like this in life...but the feeling of knowing I was true to me and how I would be if their was NO Fear at all is so much more reassuring...So with that all I can say is that "I am ALL IN"...we should all be "ALL IN" no matter what stage we are in...

Being Excited while you wait...and wait...and wait...

 Image via online

This topic has been coming up alot lately in some conversations I have been having with my friends and then in Ashley's post (Make room for me)...sometimes or more like, often times we go through this huge process of getting certified to adopt and then we are like "where is our baby"...we expect it to happen right away...granted it does for some...but most of us we have to wait a time before our baby joins our family.   I think it is because we are thinking "ok I have been waiting a long time" (the trying part/dealing with infertility) and we think that as soon as we are certified it is bound to be here...unfortunately, this is not usually the case and that is ok.

Recently, I was speaking to my friend Brielle about this and she had a great way of looking at this...she said "when we get certified it is kinda like we just found out we are pregnant"...or at least we should think about it this way.  When someone is pregnant they are EXCITED the entire time! (well maybe not when they are throwing up...lol)  They aren't thinking "oh...I have to wait 9 months to see my baby...this sucks" no they are thinking "I am going to go look at baby clothes and not feel weird doing it!"  They don't care if they don't look pregnant yet!  Like WE.. tend to tell ourselves when we want to shop for the baby we will eventually have.

They don't think "I am not going to get excited about this baby or do a thing to plan until I know the babies sex or they come home from the hospital"...like WE as adoptive couples often do...They are excited for what will come and are glad to have the time to plan...They don't think about all the bad things that could happen...like WE as adoptive couples tend to focus on...When is the last time you heard a pregnant woman say "I hope I don't have a still born...my friend did"...but when was the last time you heard an adoptive couple say "I hope I don't have a failed placement like my friends had to go through, I hope they don't change their mind."  They don't walk around with tons of doubts...(yes I know there are some but you know what I mean)...they walk around with the thoughts of assumption of this is good...everything will be ok...they just TRUST...

Now, I know we aren't pregnant but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be excited during the process...this wait is like you are pregnant and the baby hasn't been born yet...we need to act like it.  Now, I know if you knew me personally, you would know that I am totally into attracting what I want into my life (law of attraction) and the BEST way to attract what you want is to FEEL the FEELINGS of having it already!  A pregnant woman is constantly feeling the feelings of having it now, way before it is visible or she can even feel the baby kick.  We also can do lots of things to feel it now...Like Ashley said...start your babies room...shop for baby clothes like you would (No one is thinking "you don't belong here in the baby section"...you know you think this! And hey if you buy boy stuff and you end up with a girl I am sure you know plenty of women at church who will have a boy for those clothes to give as gifts!).

Start to talk as if it is happening...Be happy for your friends that are having babies or have been chosen (I know this one is WAY hard) but you would want them to be happy for you...As my friend Jaymie had said last time I saw her "you will have your day."  Let's be present and joyous about these special little spirits that are coming to these families...YOUR baby is coming...

Get involved in something that will help you help others!  FSA is an amazing way to get involved and know people that are on this journey you are on...you never know who they will know!  My friend Kris' birth-mom actually met my friend Brielle prior and that is how she learned of Kris!

I know that when we help others get what they want, we get what we want and usually it happens when you are not focusing on the "why am I not getting what I want" part.  I have to say that for me this Blog came into my life at the perfect moment...I truly love being able to try to help us all in this journey...I love that we have been gaining in our exposure (just google - LDS Adoption and we are on the 1st page!)...this blog is my way of helping others get what they want...I love that I can help you be featured to your possible birth mom or the one that may see your profile and then tell your birth mom!  This blog has helped me so much...and has helped me when waiting...I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and what it has given me...