ADOPTION BLOGS!!!

So after some thought and many questions coming at me about blogs I have decided to write a post about starting or updating your Adoption blog!

Some of you may be thinking where do I start... this is hard? or  I already have one now I need an adoption one? or You mean I have to put my feelings or thoughts or info out there on the net? Or I am not good at this kind of stuff! or Everyone else is soooo much better than me at that kind of stuff or theirs looks way better than mine... Well, I will tell you these are all very valid questions or thoughts and some of them may be totally true and some well may be all in your head!

I will say this as I have before in the Social Media post I wrote that YOU need to have a blog!  No, its obviously not required...lol...and yes your birthmother may come to you in a totally different way but it is the best way to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and who you are with others that YOU ARE WANTING TO ADOPT with exception of Facebook but blog posts can be highly integrated into Facebook.  And if you are not on Facebook at this point you need to read the social media post....

So where do you start?

For starters I would say user blogger.com (its linked to gmail).  Wordpress is way harder...well not as user friendly if you don't have a clue what you are doing.  When I started my blog  I had never done anything like it... Blogger is really user friendly and even has simple templates you can use to get started and all you have to do it pick which one.

 **I know many of you already have one of these but everyone starts somewhere!**

What should you have in it or on it?

Well for starters, I want you to look at the hoping to adopt blogs that are linked on LDS Adoption Connection and I really want you to look at them pretending you are an expectant mother looking to place the child you are carrying...Can you tell they even want to adopt?  Can you find info about them that tells you who they are?  Did they write a letter to you?  Did you feel like you already know them without meeting them?  Do they feel feel like old friends or do they seem stiff and uptight...or do you feel like they are your family?  Do they say they want an open adoption and do they feel like they want one?  There is a difference?  Do they allow you to feel what they are going through?  Do they inspire you? Do they make you want to know them more and that you can't wait to read their next post?  Do they have Facebook?  Can you learn more about them that way?  Was it easy to navigate their blog? Was it boring? Was it ugly or attractive?

These are things you MUST think about when you create your blog!  These blogs are to represent you yes, but they are for someone else to read!!! Would you want to read your blog? Seriously!  You need to ask yourself that question... I know I am not a candy coater and with this kind of stuff no one wants one of those...

When I decided to create a blog I CREEPED everyone else's and looked for all the parts I liked and definitely notated the ones I didn't like!

Contact Us!

You must give a birthmother a way to reach you on your blog...Create an email just for your adoption and put that on everything (Facebook, parent profiles, and your blog).  It would be the worst to have a birth mother want you and you never gave her a way to reach you...seriously its a duh! lol

Update Your Blog!

Some of you may not like what I say next but oh well! You really need to have a blog that you actually write on and update!!! Some of you out there have blogs that you call "adoption blogs" and all they are is another version of a parent profile or it's about love.  Although many of these blogs are super cute they are somewhat stale...yes stale (don't be offended just hear me out)...they are stale because anyone can create that and they don't tell a potential birthmother that you are STILL in fact wanting to adopt.

They say nothing about what is happening in your life, nothing about if you did indeed get placed with,  nothing about if you had a failed placement and how it felt, and it usually never says if you are indeed matched?

They say nothing...And worst yet is that when friends of people put them in their blog lists on their blogs they are at the bottom since they never are updated..thus a birthmother never clicks on them!  No one really clicks on these since they are at the bottom...They click on updated blogs...seriously again think as if you are them:)

Allow your posts to be Shared!

On blogger you can allow in the footer for your posts to be shared on Facebook...you want to add this function ASAP!  You have no idea how many times I wanted to share someones specific post and they didn't give this option...uhg! I love to share peoples stories so you want this on there...

This is also how YOU SHOULD share your newest posts on to your Facebook adoption page!  From your adoption Facebook page "THEN" you share it to your Personal facebook page because then your post will show where it was shared from (your adoption Facebook page) and people go to your page and "like" it and then their "like" shows in the Facebook newsfeed of ALL the people that person knows! cool huh!

p.s. see how on this picture the "show shares" box is not selected...you want to make sure it's checked!!!

Lastly...facebook and blog buttons!

You need to get these...create an adoption page if you haven't see social media post....and post these on your blogs...many people blog and they are happy to post a blog button on their blog for you.  You may say "Deanna how do I do that?"  Well, I just googled it that is how I learned I had no clue! But I found you this link and it will walk you thru it:) I also hunted on others blogs and copied their html and added my links and picts.  When you pick a picture for this you will want to make sure your picture shows your faces...make sure you are thinking "will someone want to click on my button?"  Is it boring or attractive! Does it say I want to adopt?  Hint: I used a picture of my wanting to adopt pass a long cards.  I worked great!

These need to be on your blog for others to "like" your Facebook page and be aware that you have one and for them to help you...they could be big time bloggers and have lots of traffic come to their blogs and because you have a button and they "know" your story they post your button on their blog!  Some of my coolest online friends came about because we were creeping each other's blogs and felt like we knew each other already!

I hope this has helped a bunch of you out there and again I am not trying to offend anyone just help...this is like a buffet table, take what you like and leave what you don't...lol...

**I am hoping to maybe have a birthmother write a post as well regarding blogging and Facebook too...if you are one and are interested please comment below or email me at ldsadoptioconnection@yahoo.com:)

-Deanna

Being Excited while you wait...and wait...and wait...

 Image via online

This topic has been coming up alot lately in some conversations I have been having with my friends and then in Ashley's post (Make room for me)...sometimes or more like, often times we go through this huge process of getting certified to adopt and then we are like "where is our baby"...we expect it to happen right away...granted it does for some...but most of us we have to wait a time before our baby joins our family.   I think it is because we are thinking "ok I have been waiting a long time" (the trying part/dealing with infertility) and we think that as soon as we are certified it is bound to be here...unfortunately, this is not usually the case and that is ok.

Recently, I was speaking to my friend Brielle about this and she had a great way of looking at this...she said "when we get certified it is kinda like we just found out we are pregnant"...or at least we should think about it this way.  When someone is pregnant they are EXCITED the entire time! (well maybe not when they are throwing up...lol)  They aren't thinking "oh...I have to wait 9 months to see my baby...this sucks" no they are thinking "I am going to go look at baby clothes and not feel weird doing it!"  They don't care if they don't look pregnant yet!  Like WE.. tend to tell ourselves when we want to shop for the baby we will eventually have.

They don't think "I am not going to get excited about this baby or do a thing to plan until I know the babies sex or they come home from the hospital"...like WE as adoptive couples often do...They are excited for what will come and are glad to have the time to plan...They don't think about all the bad things that could happen...like WE as adoptive couples tend to focus on...When is the last time you heard a pregnant woman say "I hope I don't have a still born...my friend did"...but when was the last time you heard an adoptive couple say "I hope I don't have a failed placement like my friends had to go through, I hope they don't change their mind."  They don't walk around with tons of doubts...(yes I know there are some but you know what I mean)...they walk around with the thoughts of assumption of this is good...everything will be ok...they just TRUST...

Now, I know we aren't pregnant but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be excited during the process...this wait is like you are pregnant and the baby hasn't been born yet...we need to act like it.  Now, I know if you knew me personally, you would know that I am totally into attracting what I want into my life (law of attraction) and the BEST way to attract what you want is to FEEL the FEELINGS of having it already!  A pregnant woman is constantly feeling the feelings of having it now, way before it is visible or she can even feel the baby kick.  We also can do lots of things to feel it now...Like Ashley said...start your babies room...shop for baby clothes like you would (No one is thinking "you don't belong here in the baby section"...you know you think this! And hey if you buy boy stuff and you end up with a girl I am sure you know plenty of women at church who will have a boy for those clothes to give as gifts!).

Start to talk as if it is happening...Be happy for your friends that are having babies or have been chosen (I know this one is WAY hard) but you would want them to be happy for you...As my friend Jaymie had said last time I saw her "you will have your day."  Let's be present and joyous about these special little spirits that are coming to these families...YOUR baby is coming...

Get involved in something that will help you help others!  FSA is an amazing way to get involved and know people that are on this journey you are on...you never know who they will know!  My friend Kris' birth-mom actually met my friend Brielle prior and that is how she learned of Kris!

I know that when we help others get what they want, we get what we want and usually it happens when you are not focusing on the "why am I not getting what I want" part.  I have to say that for me this Blog came into my life at the perfect moment...I truly love being able to try to help us all in this journey...I love that we have been gaining in our exposure (just google - LDS Adoption and we are on the 1st page!)...this blog is my way of helping others get what they want...I love that I can help you be featured to your possible birth mom or the one that may see your profile and then tell your birth mom!  This blog has helped me so much...and has helped me when waiting...I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and what it has given me...

Adoption Pass Along Cards Launch and Contest!!!!

**Just click above to visit site**

Hey everyone!  Adoptionpassalongcards.com is launching on June 1st ( formerly found at spaces for faces)!  If you haven't gotten your pass a long cards yet well here is your chance! 

They are going to have a contest. Starting June 1, they will be having a week long contest for a chance to win 1000 cards for FREE!

There are 3 ways you can win for just visiting their site:

(1) comment just for coming
(2) comment that you blogged about it 
(3) comment that you posted about them on your Facebook or Twitter

Please note you can only do each thing once but it is still 3 CHANCES to WIN!

**The contest will begin June 1st and run until  June 7th at midnight and on June 8th they will be drawing 2 winners who will each win 1,000 pass long cards.**

This is so awesome...they do a great job...they did ours...and I even had her change the colors for me...

Details...give details...

So many of you visited the post I wrote last week  Finding your Birth-Mother and Blog Importance that I thought I would write about one more thing....the details!

Something that I have noticed is that many birthmom's notice your details, details are sometimes what makes them know that YOUR Family is THE Family for the baby she is about to have or had...now what do I mean by details...well for starters if you are on Itsaboutlove or Parent Profiles then you should be filling out all the spots that ask about you...now I know you want to be safe and cautious but I don't think listing your favorite color or that your husband likes to hunt will threaten your safety when it comes to a scammer.  These details show you care!  Also, if you are on parent profiles...there is a place that you can put journal entries in...copy and paste your blog posts from your adoption blog!  This tells your birthmom that you actually pay attention to trying to find her and you are working to find her and your baby...I can not stress this enough....

The best way to think about it is to put yourself in her shoes!  What would you want to know...what would you want to see...how would you want to feel when you read YOUR profile or blog or birthletter...remember she is a person that is caring for YOUR baby...Love her the way you would want to be loved if you were her.

Now, I know that some birth-mom's have extreme circumstances and might not see your blog or post or they might want a closed adoption but the truth is, that is not the typical birth-mother...Most are women like you...they just are in a tough spot and most if circumstances were different would want to love their babies more than anything in the world...the reason they place their babies is because they love their babies!  They love them so much that they will go through the emotional anguish in order to know that their baby has the world and has the most amazing loving parents who can provide so much for their little baby.

This is Your Birth-mother and Your baby that you are trying to find...they deserve that you do EVERYTHING you can to find them...I know that this can be hard if you are struggling with infertility...I struggle with that too as well, but when you are hesitant because you are struggling with that think about WHY you chose to adopt...many of you were prompted...think about that...Heavenly Father will bless you when you do your part...when Faith is exercised Miracles appear...you want to be "all in" to receive the blessing....The Blessing of your Familiy...

Finding your Birth-mother and blog Importance...

I have to say that ever since we have decided to adopt I am amazed by all the people I have come into contact with...I mean people who I most likely would have never met that now I get to have a connection with.  I feel really special to have this chance to know all of you!  I love to read all of your strories and life adventures...yes I am a blog creeper to the fullest I have to admit...I read alot...I must admit many of you were the ones that unknowingly helped me to create my own adoption blog  before we were even fully certified...some were so beautiful...some had amazing ideas for me...and luckily only a few had what I didn't want to do, but those taught me ALOT!

When I was learning about exposure (aka: finding ways for us to be matched with our birth-mom) I soon realized I had to have a blog for her to read and for everyone I know to know about this blog.  And so that she could find us or vice versa.  I can not stress enough the importance of any couple who is hoping to adopt to get a blog created, get it on other blogs (links to it/blog buttons) and most importantly UPDATING it! 

I know many of you have created beautiful blogs but if they haven't been updated regularly how is your birth-mother or someone that knows your birth-mother or someone who may know someone who knows her supposed to know if you even want to adopt anymore if it has old posts!  I will say that when I look at other blogs this is the first thing I notice and I wonder "did they already adopt?" or "are they still wanting to adopt?" or "are they even the same now as then?"  I guess what I am trying to say is that the reason you have an Adoption blog (if you have one) is for her and doesn't she deserve to know you!  After all she is going to be your birth-mother...the person who gave or gives your child life...

As a blog creeper...which I know many of you are like me and creep...we want to know what is going on with you so she most likely does too...Since taking this blog over I have seen just how many people blog creep and you would be floored at how much exposure you can have by having an active blog.  If you want to see what it is like just click and see this blogs Feedjit tracker located in the lower left column.  If you click on "real time" which is located on the bottom of the tracker you can see who is coming to this blog and where they are going (meaning which blogs) and where they even came from. Or you can click here and see instead.

BTW make sure your blog has a way for your birth-mother to contact you and that it has a link to your adoption profile with your agency.  This is way important!

Once you get your blog up or if you have one already I am more than happy to post your link on our list of couples hoping to adopt so that you can have the exposure.  You will notice that I have it set so that you can see when someone posted last... I know I don't look at the ones that never post updates so why would your potential birth-mother. But I know I do look at everyone's when they update!

I hope this didn't offend anyone because that is not what I meant to do I just wanted to help since others of you have helped me so much too...

Wait vs. Find

By Brittany  
email me at queandbrittany@yahoo.com

When we had been approved as a hopeful adoptive couple, people would ask us about being on "the waiting list." They would ask how long it was going to take for us to be at "the top of the list." The truth is, as you know, adoption through LDSFS didn't work that way. I guess there is a "list," in the sense that you can click here and search through LDSFS profiles of hopeful couples, but because it is the birth mothers who choose who the parents of their child will be, no couple has "priority" over another.

This means that some couples will be chosen with in a matter of weeks or months of being approved, while others might be chosen after years of being approved.

Because of this, as a hopeful adoptive couple, you should not rely only on your online profile to connect you with your birth mother.

In fact, even though our birth mom was going to LDSFS for adoption counseling, she did not use their itsaboutlove.org website to search for prospective parents for Liam. For her situation, she felt she needed a personal recommendation. In fact, she met with several couples before meeting us; couples that were referred to her by people she knew.

This is where the "Wait vs. Find" mentality comes into play.

W - What If?
A - Anxious
I - Insecure
T - Tense

VS

F - Faith
I - Inspiration
N - Networking
D - Divine Intervention

Are you Waiting or are you Finding?

Had we just waited to be connected with a birth mother only by and through our online LDSFS profile, we wouldn't have Liam.

In the world of infant adoption (where only 1% of crisis pregnancies end with an adoption) you have to be the one to get your name out there, and doing so helps the time pass more quickly.

Attend the temple, increase your scripture study and grow closer to the Spirit, start an adoption blog (and update it often), order pass along cards, send out a mass mailer, start a Facebook group, etc. Listen to the Spirit and do anything to build your support network.

You never know who will help you find your child.

(Brie, me, my mom Dianne, Kristina and Danielle)

(Kristina and my mom gave our pass along cards to hairstylist Danielle, who gave them to her best friend, Brie!)

Do you have any other Finding Ideas? 
Post about them on your blog!

Pass Along Cards Work!

By Brittany M.

As a couple hoping to adopt, you should never underestimate the power of a

Pass Along Card.

If you don't know what they are, how they work or how to get pass along cards, check out my friend/neighbor Jill's site SpacesForFaces.com.
She made ours and she can make you some too (for a great price!). 
Obviously, since our son's birth mom found us because of them, I'm a fan of them. :)

Check out our blog for updates on our exciting news!