Being Excited while you wait...and wait...and wait...

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This topic has been coming up alot lately in some conversations I have been having with my friends and then in Ashley's post (Make room for me)...sometimes or more like, often times we go through this huge process of getting certified to adopt and then we are like "where is our baby"...we expect it to happen right away...granted it does for some...but most of us we have to wait a time before our baby joins our family.   I think it is because we are thinking "ok I have been waiting a long time" (the trying part/dealing with infertility) and we think that as soon as we are certified it is bound to be here...unfortunately, this is not usually the case and that is ok.

Recently, I was speaking to my friend Brielle about this and she had a great way of looking at this...she said "when we get certified it is kinda like we just found out we are pregnant"...or at least we should think about it this way.  When someone is pregnant they are EXCITED the entire time! (well maybe not when they are throwing up...lol)  They aren't thinking "oh...I have to wait 9 months to see my baby...this sucks" no they are thinking "I am going to go look at baby clothes and not feel weird doing it!"  They don't care if they don't look pregnant yet!  Like WE.. tend to tell ourselves when we want to shop for the baby we will eventually have.

They don't think "I am not going to get excited about this baby or do a thing to plan until I know the babies sex or they come home from the hospital"...like WE as adoptive couples often do...They are excited for what will come and are glad to have the time to plan...They don't think about all the bad things that could happen...like WE as adoptive couples tend to focus on...When is the last time you heard a pregnant woman say "I hope I don't have a still born...my friend did"...but when was the last time you heard an adoptive couple say "I hope I don't have a failed placement like my friends had to go through, I hope they don't change their mind."  They don't walk around with tons of doubts...(yes I know there are some but you know what I mean)...they walk around with the thoughts of assumption of this is good...everything will be ok...they just TRUST...

Now, I know we aren't pregnant but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't be excited during the process...this wait is like you are pregnant and the baby hasn't been born yet...we need to act like it.  Now, I know if you knew me personally, you would know that I am totally into attracting what I want into my life (law of attraction) and the BEST way to attract what you want is to FEEL the FEELINGS of having it already!  A pregnant woman is constantly feeling the feelings of having it now, way before it is visible or she can even feel the baby kick.  We also can do lots of things to feel it now...Like Ashley said...start your babies room...shop for baby clothes like you would (No one is thinking "you don't belong here in the baby section"...you know you think this! And hey if you buy boy stuff and you end up with a girl I am sure you know plenty of women at church who will have a boy for those clothes to give as gifts!).

Start to talk as if it is happening...Be happy for your friends that are having babies or have been chosen (I know this one is WAY hard) but you would want them to be happy for you...As my friend Jaymie had said last time I saw her "you will have your day."  Let's be present and joyous about these special little spirits that are coming to these families...YOUR baby is coming...

Get involved in something that will help you help others!  FSA is an amazing way to get involved and know people that are on this journey you are on...you never know who they will know!  My friend Kris' birth-mom actually met my friend Brielle prior and that is how she learned of Kris!

I know that when we help others get what they want, we get what we want and usually it happens when you are not focusing on the "why am I not getting what I want" part.  I have to say that for me this Blog came into my life at the perfect moment...I truly love being able to try to help us all in this journey...I love that we have been gaining in our exposure (just google - LDS Adoption and we are on the 1st page!)...this blog is my way of helping others get what they want...I love that I can help you be featured to your possible birth mom or the one that may see your profile and then tell your birth mom!  This blog has helped me so much...and has helped me when waiting...I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and what it has given me...

Make Room For Me..

When a family discovers that they are having a baby there are many plans to be made, adjustments, cleaning to be done, furniture to be purchased, conversations to have, rooms to be prepared, hearts to be filled....MANY things take place during the process of bringing a baby into the home. Are you as adoptive families making those arrangements? Are you making room?

I know that many families have a hard time walking past a baby room with no baby, looking at the diapers stacked in the closet with no baby to change, having hope in your heart with no baby to love...BUT if you are not ready in your home and in your heart...your baby may never come.

You need to make room, you need to have a placed prepared, you need to fill that empty spot in your heart, you need to pray for YOUR baby that is coming to you. Live as though you have a baby that is coming into your home. Your mindset is so important. I know that we feel like we wait forever and we live in fear that it will never come...but if and when it does you need to be ready. A baby will change your life, and there are things that you could never prepare for...but the little things should be ready so when that baby comes to you...you have already adjusted, the family is ready and the hearts are filled...so that your baby knows that is has a PLACE with you!

I am so thankful to Deanna and her amazing insight into the adoptive families and support that she has...and as she posted yesterday her thoughts really say it better than anything that I could say here:

"And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith. Enos 1:12"


A Room For your Baby:

An empty room can be very loud. It speaks volumes above what a room full of color and furniture can say. You may think that you have time, that you can use that empty space for other things, storage, a craft room, exercise equipment etc. that the room can be used for other things until you know for sure about a baby coming BUT what else could possibly be more important for that space then preparing a place for that baby...for YOUR baby to come home and join your family. Every time you walk by that room, you should smile, you should be saying to yourself "my baby is going to LOVE this room" you should be ready...

When you walk past that room you should know that someone lives there...you should know that they are present in your home.

Do you want your home to feel like this?

Or like this?

When you walk by that room, that little bit of space that you cleared for your baby, you should be able to see that wonderful, happy, healthy, amazing gift from heaven there playing, laughing, filling your home. If your room is empty you will NEVER see it, never hear it...and never feel it.

A Heart For Your Baby:

I have read hundreds of blogs and posts by adoptive families. It can be very hard to read. The pain that the family is feeling can be felt through the words. I know that it can feel that there is no "light at the end" of the tunnel, that your baby is never going to come, that you will never be able to filll the emptiness that your heart is feeling. You must have faith, You must change your heart, You must fill it with love in preparation for your baby to join you...You must be ready. If you let your sorrow fill your heart then there will be no room for the love when your baby comes.

There is nothing in this world that will fill your heart like loving a child, and just like a woman that is preparing to have a baby months and months ahead of time, you can be ready..you can LOVE that baby with all of your heart while you wait. Pray for your baby that is coming to you...KNOW that a baby is coming to you and pray for that baby every single day, pray for that birth-mom who will be bringing a baby into your heart.

I read an article over a year ago from an adoptive mother that prayed for her birthmom to make a mistake, get pregnant and place that baby for adoption. I know it seems crazy, and you don't wish these challenges on anyone but the truth is...without birthmoms, without mistakes, without adoption to correct them..there would be no baby coming to you. 

LOVE that baby, love that baby that hasn't come yet...don't let the sorrow of the emptiness of your heart cloud your perspective..change your view..fill your heart. Have a heart that is ready to love your baby! Live the desires of your heart every single day..and if that desire is a baby..live to love that baby...

Make room for your baby in all aspects of your life..be ready for when you get that call. Don't spend your time in emptiness...FILL IT UP!

xoxo,
Ashley Mitchell

Founder, Blessings in a Basket