Make Room For Me..

When a family discovers that they are having a baby there are many plans to be made, adjustments, cleaning to be done, furniture to be purchased, conversations to have, rooms to be prepared, hearts to be filled....MANY things take place during the process of bringing a baby into the home. Are you as adoptive families making those arrangements? Are you making room?

I know that many families have a hard time walking past a baby room with no baby, looking at the diapers stacked in the closet with no baby to change, having hope in your heart with no baby to love...BUT if you are not ready in your home and in your heart...your baby may never come.

You need to make room, you need to have a placed prepared, you need to fill that empty spot in your heart, you need to pray for YOUR baby that is coming to you. Live as though you have a baby that is coming into your home. Your mindset is so important. I know that we feel like we wait forever and we live in fear that it will never come...but if and when it does you need to be ready. A baby will change your life, and there are things that you could never prepare for...but the little things should be ready so when that baby comes to you...you have already adjusted, the family is ready and the hearts are filled...so that your baby knows that is has a PLACE with you!

I am so thankful to Deanna and her amazing insight into the adoptive families and support that she has...and as she posted yesterday her thoughts really say it better than anything that I could say here:

"And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith. Enos 1:12"


A Room For your Baby:

An empty room can be very loud. It speaks volumes above what a room full of color and furniture can say. You may think that you have time, that you can use that empty space for other things, storage, a craft room, exercise equipment etc. that the room can be used for other things until you know for sure about a baby coming BUT what else could possibly be more important for that space then preparing a place for that baby...for YOUR baby to come home and join your family. Every time you walk by that room, you should smile, you should be saying to yourself "my baby is going to LOVE this room" you should be ready...

When you walk past that room you should know that someone lives there...you should know that they are present in your home.

Do you want your home to feel like this?

Or like this?

When you walk by that room, that little bit of space that you cleared for your baby, you should be able to see that wonderful, happy, healthy, amazing gift from heaven there playing, laughing, filling your home. If your room is empty you will NEVER see it, never hear it...and never feel it.

A Heart For Your Baby:

I have read hundreds of blogs and posts by adoptive families. It can be very hard to read. The pain that the family is feeling can be felt through the words. I know that it can feel that there is no "light at the end" of the tunnel, that your baby is never going to come, that you will never be able to filll the emptiness that your heart is feeling. You must have faith, You must change your heart, You must fill it with love in preparation for your baby to join you...You must be ready. If you let your sorrow fill your heart then there will be no room for the love when your baby comes.

There is nothing in this world that will fill your heart like loving a child, and just like a woman that is preparing to have a baby months and months ahead of time, you can be ready..you can LOVE that baby with all of your heart while you wait. Pray for your baby that is coming to you...KNOW that a baby is coming to you and pray for that baby every single day, pray for that birth-mom who will be bringing a baby into your heart.

I read an article over a year ago from an adoptive mother that prayed for her birthmom to make a mistake, get pregnant and place that baby for adoption. I know it seems crazy, and you don't wish these challenges on anyone but the truth is...without birthmoms, without mistakes, without adoption to correct them..there would be no baby coming to you. 

LOVE that baby, love that baby that hasn't come yet...don't let the sorrow of the emptiness of your heart cloud your perspective..change your view..fill your heart. Have a heart that is ready to love your baby! Live the desires of your heart every single day..and if that desire is a baby..live to love that baby...

Make room for your baby in all aspects of your life..be ready for when you get that call. Don't spend your time in emptiness...FILL IT UP!

xoxo,
Ashley Mitchell

Founder, Blessings in a Basket

Big Tough Girl!

Hello Everyone!

My name is Ashley Mitchell and I am so excited to write this post for LDS Adoption Connection! It is such an honor and they are so amazing.

I was asked to share a little bit about myself. I am 31 years old, I am married to my Amazing Grace, I have an amazing, beautiful daughter, Tyler Ann who is now 13 months…I don’t know what we did before our baby girl!

I am a member of the LDS church and serve faithfully in the Young Women’s Program. I have an incredible family that I love dearly, I love to read, I love to scrapbook and create art, I love to spend time outdoors camping and at the lake, I am a die-hard college football fan, I think snow is magical and..........

I am a birth mom.

At 26 I found myself pregnant and in an impossible situation. My life was changed forever. I had to make a decision and it was enough to break me. When I made the decision to place my baby for adoption I felt a great deal of peace come over me. I was so blessed to come in contact with the amazing adoptive family that took my son as their own! I have to say that in my opinion the adoptive families are the ones that deserve all the credit and praise in the adoption process. The adoptive family makes it possible for the birth mom to get her life back...to have another chance.

After my placement I spent many years lost and out of control. I never really had anyone tell me what to expect after I placed my baby, I never had anyone that I could talk with about the guilt, sadness and grief that I was feeling. I tried to keep myself together and act like everything was fine but it was almost impossible. I spent years away from the church, drinking, drugs and casual relationships trying to find anything that would fill the void that I was feeling. It took many mistakes and many break downs to finally snap out of it, or to make the "switch" as we like to call it.

After everything that I experienced I realized how important it is to have people around you that understand what you are going through and can help you and teach you from their own experiences. That is where the next chapter of my life took me. I am now a self proclaimed "Big Tough Girl" in the face of all adversity!

In 2010 I founded a non-profit organization called Blessings in a Basket. It was set up with the birth mothers in mind. They have a great need for love, support, healing and connecting and so through gift baskets, life coaching, a community of other birth moms, support groups, retreats and so much more we are bringing that to them. My number one priority is to be there for the birth moms, night and day, offering any amount of information and support that I can.

BIB is set up now to reach not just the birth moms but the birth fathers, the parents of the birth parents, adoption agencies and adoptive families…there are so many ways that people can donate to Blessings in a Basket through all of our different events, baskets, advertising etc. If anyone has any questions about the organization or about how they can reach out and help, they can visit our newly launched website http://www.blessingsinabasket.org/

My son just turned 5 years old in April, 2011…it has been 5 years. I have spent much of that time in darkness and now a year in the light. Giving my son for adoption was the best choice for me and everyone involved. It was in no way the easiest choice and came with the most “side-effects”..but I found a way to get through them. I know that I was watched over and protected, I know that I had more of a story to tell, I know that I had people waiting for me and that needed me. I have been able to reach so many women, amazing “Big Tough Girls” and I am the luckiest person on the planet.

It took a long time to get here but we always try to show where life goes after adoption…give the birth moms the tools they need, life coaching and direction to move forward and not backward, to succeed and not fail, to love and not grieve. We offer opportunities of employment for those interested and help with placement for those looking down another path.

I am not picketing the streets screaming pro-life, I am not a college graduate, I am not a business whiz, I am not well connected in society and I am not wealthy. I am just a girl who found herself pregnant and who placed her son for adoption…I am telling my story in hopes to help one girl at a time!