Question from Tuesday...

Anonymous said...

 

We are going to meet our birth-mom for the second time, but we are also meeting her 3 kids and her mom and dad. What is appropriate, to bring them a gift or not. Do we bring our birth mom a gift again or not. We are meeting her this weekend. Thanks

This is a great question and I wanted you to know my thoughts before you meet them this weekend...I say do what you would normally do...If you want to get something, then do...I am not sure if you were meaning that you have already adopted and am meeting your birth mom of your adopted child or the birth-mom of the child you are going to adopt....I am going to assume it is she is carrying still and she has 3 children previously...I would probably get something small for the kiddos...nothing major but to show you were thinking of her and them..  

I think that sometimes we as hopeful adoptive couples are so worried we will do something wrong and mess it up but be who you really are...that is who you will be to the child they place with you so why be someone different before or to their birth-mother.  If it is supposed to be she will know the intentions of your heart and if you are unsure say that very thing to her to explain...they want you to love them too just as you will love their baby.  

I really feel that it is soooo important for you to be you...so if you want to get them a gift do so...if you normally might not don't...but also think of if you were her....that has helped me in this journey...I have tried put myself in her shoes and thought what would I want and then I have listened to her and taken mental notes of things she says...she will tell you what to do inadvertently.  Be yourself...she has chosen you because of you so be you...