I just love this song....

Many of you have probably heard this song before but many of you might not have...I just love how the song came to be written...you can read about that here if you would like...

     FROM GOD'S ARMS TO MY ARMS TO YOURS LYRICS 

      by Michael McLean

 With so many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure.
  If I can ever hope to trust my judgment anymore.
  But lately I've been thinking, 'cause it's all I've had to do.
  And in my heart I feel that I should give this child to you.

  [Chorus]

  And maybe, you can tell your baby when you love him so that he's been loved before.
  By someone who delivered your son, From God's arms to my arm's to yours.
 

  Now if you choose to tell him and if he wants to know.
  How the one who gave him life could bear to let him go.
  Just tell him there were sleepless nights I prayed and paced the floors.
   And knew the only peace I'd find is if this child was yours.

  {Repeat Chorus}

  Now I know you don't have to do this, but could you kiss him once for me?
  The first time that he ties his shoes or falls and skins his knee,
  And could you hold him twice as long when he makes his mistakes.
  Tell him that he's not alone, sometimes that's all it takes -
  I know how much he'll ache.

  This may not be the answer for another girl like me.
  And I'm not on a soapbox saying how we all should be.
  I'm just trusting in my feelings and I'm trusting God above.
  And I'm trusting you can give our baby both his mother's love.

  {Repeat Chorus} 

 

Hoping to Adopt Feature ......... Jared and Devin

Why Adoption is right for us?

Our adoption story is some what a unique one. When I (Devin) was born, I had what was known as infantile colitis. This made me extremely sick. While trying to diagnose me, the doctors discovered that I have Turner Syndrome.  Anyway, due to my medical history, biological children are out of the question. When I told Jared that I had Turner Syndrome, he was so accepting. Not to say he wasn't taken back. Honestly, it did throw him for a loop. Jared came to the realization... that loving me meant accepting this. Jared knew that no matter what that one day we would be an eternal family!

We know there are a lot of sweet spirits that need to be adopted so we choose to receive children into our home this way. Adoption to us is an absolute miracle. For two families to be joined by one sweet spirit, for this infant to be placed in the trust and care of another family, and for the birth family to be able to choose an adoptive couple there is definitely a Higher Being involved. There are no words to describe the feelings that come when adoption is involved. Our feelings for the birth family is indescribable too. To have that type of selfless love, the courage it takes, as well as the strength is incredible and admirable beyond compare. We would be honored to be the adoptive parents for any child that comes from that type of family. We are also licensed foster parents to help the kids that are in need. When the time is right for us, we will also accept foster children.

If you would like to know more about us click here to view our blog...

Adoption Pass Along Cards Launch and Contest!!!!

**Just click above to visit site**

Hey everyone!  Adoptionpassalongcards.com is launching on June 1st ( formerly found at spaces for faces)!  If you haven't gotten your pass a long cards yet well here is your chance! 

They are going to have a contest. Starting June 1, they will be having a week long contest for a chance to win 1000 cards for FREE!

There are 3 ways you can win for just visiting their site:

(1) comment just for coming
(2) comment that you blogged about it 
(3) comment that you posted about them on your Facebook or Twitter

Please note you can only do each thing once but it is still 3 CHANCES to WIN!

**The contest will begin June 1st and run until  June 7th at midnight and on June 8th they will be drawing 2 winners who will each win 1,000 pass long cards.**

This is so awesome...they do a great job...they did ours...and I even had her change the colors for me...

Make Room For Me..

When a family discovers that they are having a baby there are many plans to be made, adjustments, cleaning to be done, furniture to be purchased, conversations to have, rooms to be prepared, hearts to be filled....MANY things take place during the process of bringing a baby into the home. Are you as adoptive families making those arrangements? Are you making room?

I know that many families have a hard time walking past a baby room with no baby, looking at the diapers stacked in the closet with no baby to change, having hope in your heart with no baby to love...BUT if you are not ready in your home and in your heart...your baby may never come.

You need to make room, you need to have a placed prepared, you need to fill that empty spot in your heart, you need to pray for YOUR baby that is coming to you. Live as though you have a baby that is coming into your home. Your mindset is so important. I know that we feel like we wait forever and we live in fear that it will never come...but if and when it does you need to be ready. A baby will change your life, and there are things that you could never prepare for...but the little things should be ready so when that baby comes to you...you have already adjusted, the family is ready and the hearts are filled...so that your baby knows that is has a PLACE with you!

I am so thankful to Deanna and her amazing insight into the adoptive families and support that she has...and as she posted yesterday her thoughts really say it better than anything that I could say here:

"And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith. Enos 1:12"


A Room For your Baby:

An empty room can be very loud. It speaks volumes above what a room full of color and furniture can say. You may think that you have time, that you can use that empty space for other things, storage, a craft room, exercise equipment etc. that the room can be used for other things until you know for sure about a baby coming BUT what else could possibly be more important for that space then preparing a place for that baby...for YOUR baby to come home and join your family. Every time you walk by that room, you should smile, you should be saying to yourself "my baby is going to LOVE this room" you should be ready...

When you walk past that room you should know that someone lives there...you should know that they are present in your home.

Do you want your home to feel like this?

Or like this?

When you walk by that room, that little bit of space that you cleared for your baby, you should be able to see that wonderful, happy, healthy, amazing gift from heaven there playing, laughing, filling your home. If your room is empty you will NEVER see it, never hear it...and never feel it.

A Heart For Your Baby:

I have read hundreds of blogs and posts by adoptive families. It can be very hard to read. The pain that the family is feeling can be felt through the words. I know that it can feel that there is no "light at the end" of the tunnel, that your baby is never going to come, that you will never be able to filll the emptiness that your heart is feeling. You must have faith, You must change your heart, You must fill it with love in preparation for your baby to join you...You must be ready. If you let your sorrow fill your heart then there will be no room for the love when your baby comes.

There is nothing in this world that will fill your heart like loving a child, and just like a woman that is preparing to have a baby months and months ahead of time, you can be ready..you can LOVE that baby with all of your heart while you wait. Pray for your baby that is coming to you...KNOW that a baby is coming to you and pray for that baby every single day, pray for that birth-mom who will be bringing a baby into your heart.

I read an article over a year ago from an adoptive mother that prayed for her birthmom to make a mistake, get pregnant and place that baby for adoption. I know it seems crazy, and you don't wish these challenges on anyone but the truth is...without birthmoms, without mistakes, without adoption to correct them..there would be no baby coming to you. 

LOVE that baby, love that baby that hasn't come yet...don't let the sorrow of the emptiness of your heart cloud your perspective..change your view..fill your heart. Have a heart that is ready to love your baby! Live the desires of your heart every single day..and if that desire is a baby..live to love that baby...

Make room for your baby in all aspects of your life..be ready for when you get that call. Don't spend your time in emptiness...FILL IT UP!

xoxo,
Ashley Mitchell

Founder, Blessings in a Basket

Words to share...

 So last night I was reading my scriptures and wasn't really thinking about adoption or anything...and then I read this...

And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith.  Enos 1:12

Isn't that interesting...I mean I know we all know it, but when I read this...I instantly thought of all of us that are on this adoption journey together...I knew I had to share it...I also know that after reading a part of the guest post that will be posted tomorrow (Ashley from Blessings in a Basket will be posting again!)...that I was supposed to read this and share it with you before she posts...It ties in perfect!  I can't wait to read the rest of her posting!

Adoption Gift

via internet

Thank you, Deanna, for your advice on your last blog post! I really believe that if we show exactly who we are in our profiles, our birth Mom will be prompted as to whom she should pick. And from Monday's post, I love the idea of having a party for friends and family when we are certified to adopt and at the year anniversary of when we were certified as well. It shows a lot of hope and a lot of faith and that is awesome.

This past Mother's Day a lot of thought was given to mothering and how to mother. I was especially thoughtful knowing that I would not be pregnant anytime this year, but knowing that adoption is definitely possible. This year even. I found this blog post entitled "Adoption Gift" that made me cry and I wanted to share it with you. Here it is- www.designmom.com Enjoy!

Lots of adoption love, Megan

Details...give details...

So many of you visited the post I wrote last week  Finding your Birth-Mother and Blog Importance that I thought I would write about one more thing....the details!

Something that I have noticed is that many birthmom's notice your details, details are sometimes what makes them know that YOUR Family is THE Family for the baby she is about to have or had...now what do I mean by details...well for starters if you are on Itsaboutlove or Parent Profiles then you should be filling out all the spots that ask about you...now I know you want to be safe and cautious but I don't think listing your favorite color or that your husband likes to hunt will threaten your safety when it comes to a scammer.  These details show you care!  Also, if you are on parent profiles...there is a place that you can put journal entries in...copy and paste your blog posts from your adoption blog!  This tells your birthmom that you actually pay attention to trying to find her and you are working to find her and your baby...I can not stress this enough....

The best way to think about it is to put yourself in her shoes!  What would you want to know...what would you want to see...how would you want to feel when you read YOUR profile or blog or birthletter...remember she is a person that is caring for YOUR baby...Love her the way you would want to be loved if you were her.

Now, I know that some birth-mom's have extreme circumstances and might not see your blog or post or they might want a closed adoption but the truth is, that is not the typical birth-mother...Most are women like you...they just are in a tough spot and most if circumstances were different would want to love their babies more than anything in the world...the reason they place their babies is because they love their babies!  They love them so much that they will go through the emotional anguish in order to know that their baby has the world and has the most amazing loving parents who can provide so much for their little baby.

This is Your Birth-mother and Your baby that you are trying to find...they deserve that you do EVERYTHING you can to find them...I know that this can be hard if you are struggling with infertility...I struggle with that too as well, but when you are hesitant because you are struggling with that think about WHY you chose to adopt...many of you were prompted...think about that...Heavenly Father will bless you when you do your part...when Faith is exercised Miracles appear...you want to be "all in" to receive the blessing....The Blessing of your Familiy...

Hoping to Adopt Feature!

 

Russ and Kylee

Russ and I met through a mutual friend/cousin and were married almost 6 years ago. Within months of being married, we found out we were pregnant. We were ecstatic! Nine months later, our son, Caden, was born. Because we had Caden so quick we never thought that we were going to have any trouble having children. About a year after our son was born, we tried to get pregnant again. After a few months, we found out we were pregnant. We weren't expecting what was going to happen in a few weeks. I started bleeding and cramping, and discovered that we had a miscarriage. We were devastated!

However, we knew it was a common thing so we tried again. After 5 miscarriages in 2 years and lots of infertility testing, we knew we had to try something different. We had thought about adoption many times, but didn't quite feel it was right for our family. When we got to this point, we knew we really HAD to know what the will of the Lord was for our family before we pursued anything else.

One day while I was reading my patriarchal blessing, a phrase in there totally hit me like a brick. I shared it with Russ and we knew it meant that we were supposed to adopt. We prayed and went to the temple, and we both felt that this was how we are supposed to grow our family. We jumped in with both feet! We went to our orientation meeting and started working on all the paperwork, fingerprints, etc.

The day we got approved to adopt and our profile went "live" we felt like it was a victory over all the heartache, devastation and trial. We knew this was what we are supposed to do and we were doing everything in our power to pursue that route. We held an adoption kick off open house and invited all our family, friends and neighbors to come. It was very helpful for them to learn about adoption, what they can do to help us and to feel comfortable talking to us about it.

We took on the role of playgroup coordinators for our chapter of Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) to help us learn more about adoption and to promote a positive view of adoption in our area. We started the play groups (because they weren't having them before) and after a few activities, we now have a good group that goes almost every time. A few months later, they asked us to serve as the co chairs in our area. 

After talking and praying about it, we decided to take on that role. Now we are serving as the chairs in our area and have just held our 2nd annual area FSA conference and our 1st annual FSA 5K. We love being involved in FSA because it helps us to make great friends whose lives are also blessed with adoption!

We LOVE being parents and experiencing all the joy that children bring to a home! It is so fun to take Caden to the park, the pool, the library (or anywhere for that matter) and to see him learn new things. He ran in the kids fun run after the 5K, and loved it! We love the outdoors and frequently go camping, hiking, geocaching, etc. We are excited to go on our first family backpacking trip soon. Caden is very excited to adopt and frequently asks us when we are going to have a baby. We have been approved just over a year now and are excited for the opportunity to adopt and for Caden to be a big brother.

To learn more about our family, see our adoption blog click here

Patience...

Baby Chris and his Adoption Story...

Hi my name is Stacey. I have a hubby named Eric that I fell in love and married 7 years ago, just this month. We have a 5 year old girl named Ava, 3 year old girl named Devery (they are both biological), and we just adopted our son Chris 9 months ago. Oh, and how can I forget our wonderful dog Bo…?

I am so thankful for the chance to be a guest blogger on LDS Adoption Connection. I have written our story a couple times only because each time I do, I feel like it’s way to long. I then edit it, but feel like you are missing way to many of the great details. So if you are interested in reading more or about our finalization and sealing day please visit our blog.

After having our second daughter, my doctor informed us that it would be a long hard road for me to get pregnant again. Oct of 2009 we decided to start the adoption process through LDS Family Services. We started the paper work, back ground checks, physicals, and calling to make copies of everything to hand in. I took hours, every night filling out the questions about ourselves and trying to write something about ourselves that didn’t sound like we were trying to sell ourselves in a commercial.

One of the hardest questions that we had to answer was –open or closed adoption?- Through our process of becoming qualified to adopt we were required to go to a two day seminar to help us better prepare and understand adoption. We loved it! There were 4 panels of people that have adopted, have placed for adoption and were placed for adoption. At one point I looked over at Eric and he was teary eyed. There it was, our answer. We wanted an open adoption.

Feb of 2010, our profile was posted on itsaboutlove.org and I couldn't have been more excited. Weeks went by and nothing, then months went by and nothing. In June, we got a few e-mails from a boy that was interested in placing, but his girl friend was not, and then nothing again.

Aug 3^rd 2010, our caseworker called us and said that there was a couple that would like to meet us. I don’t remember anything she said after that. All I wanted to do was hang up and call Eric, then my mom, then his mom, then anyone else that would pick up there phone. Two days later we met Chris and Kristi that were due in 7 weeks and having a boy. We spent a couple hours talking then they went out of the room to take a break. When they walked in they gave us a picture of our family with me holding a little boys hand.

They picked us!!

I was so nervous that they would change their minds, that I didn’t tell anyone. I even had my sister in law call me that night to see how it went and I lied to her. In the next couple of weeks we met up with them a few more times and even met Kristi’s parents.

Aug 31, I got a call “ Hi this is Chris” then I say “are we having a baby?” We spent 8 hours in the hospital visiting with their families when baby Chris came into the world.

I got to be in the room during the delivery and Eric came in right after. Chris also let us share the time with him while we all gave baby Chris his first bath.

The Day of placement came and we were sick to our stomachs, just pacing around our house. Every "what if" came across our minds and people would not stop calling to see how it was going. We were not only nervous for us, but because we had fallen in love with Chris and Kristi.  We knew how hard it was going to be for them. When we arrived at the hospital there was a lot of waiting and even more paper work. Then the time came when Kristi held Chris in her arms, gave him a kiss on the forehead, and then placed him in my arms.

We just love adoption and our wonderful son, Chris. We love Chris and Kristi and their families. We thank our Heavenly Father for this amazing blessing in our lives. 

Calling all couples that are Hoping to Adopt!

Hey everyone that out there that reads this blog...

if you would like to be featured as a couple that is Hoping to Adopt on this Blog! 

We have more than doubled our traffic from last month and people are reading so EXPOSURE is everything...you never know who will see you and where it may be that get's your birth-mother to know you are the family for her baby...

please email me:

(Deanna - ldsadoptionconnection@yahoo.com)

IT IS...Ok to feel...

I have been feeling that I should re-post this post on LDS Adoption Connection from my personal Blog since I wrote it and after meeting up on Saturday night with my Adoption girl group, I decided I should....I am sure their are many of you that have felt or feel how I have felt...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

IT IS... ok to feel...

Well, I was sitting here and thinking and realized I have had something change in me recently. All of a sudden I feel not afraid to put it out there...let me explain. When we first decided to adopt I was scared and embarrassed to talk about why we had decided to adopt...I don't mean we had any issues with the part of loving a child as our own that we adopted...I mean more of the part of having to talk about my feelings and with strangers, having to say that we have issues somehow in the reproducing department, especially when you are in a ward like mine which could be known as a baby factory..lol. I didn't want to have to tell anyone I was hurting or feel as if I was the one with the problem needing the ear.

Now you have to understand that I am the friend that is typically the "tough girl" emotionally. I love to talk and I love to tell it like it is...I have no problem sharing how I feel about someone or something and showing affection. But, when it comes to sharing my insecurities or a not so obvious problem with anyone...now that is really REALLY hard for me. It's even hard sometimes for me to tell my Mom when I feel sad unless it is obvious. I have always been the type of girl that ran as fast as I could away from having to think about something that is emotionally sad for me. I have been the master of distraction in this department. I have been through alot of difficult things emotionally and gotten thru with it being the tough girl. But with this I can't be. I have to think about it...If I avoid it I won't have what I want and my children may not get to me.

At first I was unsure how to talk about it or acted like I didn't really care about certain stuff (code for me not wanting to feel at the risk of feeling sad)and just felt like we will just do what we can and go on...but now I feel like, "why was I like that?" Maybe because I didn't feel I really belonged in the group with the other couples hoping to adopt or who had adopted since I had given birth to a baby before.

I felt like why would someone want to pick us to care for their baby if there are people who have never had a baby and I had? Even though James has never had the baby experience why would they want us since we have Abbe? (Abbe was 4 when James and I met) I felt bad for having felt what it was like to have a baby...I felt like I didn't deserve to be with these other women who some know why they hadn't conceived.

But, what I have realized is that all of us that are wanting to Adopt, all have worthy reasons. I have realized that IT IS ok to be sad that I can't for some reason conceive a child with James and that I wish more than anything that we could but know that is not Heavenly Father's plan right now. I have to remember that IT IS ok that I feel sad that when I think about when I had Abbe that not everything was perfect or ideal. That IT IS ok that I wish I could have been in a more prepared state when I had Abbe. That IT IS ok for me to feel sad at the thought that I would have savored every moment when I was pregnant with Abbe if I had known I may not ever have that again. IT IS ok that I feel sad that James is the absolute Love of my Life and I have not been able to experience this with him. IT IS ok for me to want this for us and for it to be hard emotionally. IT IS ok for me to talk about it.

I feel that Heavenly Father obviously knows why we are to go through this and why I have to work through these feelings and can't just run and hide under the covers. I know that this has made me stronger already...I do sometimes think I wish Heavenly Father would give us a break a bit...lol...if its not one struggle it's another. I wonder sometimes what His purpose is for me in all of this.

I wonder what will come...How will we look back on this in 5 years...I wonder what we will say about this time in our life. I guess if I look back at my life even 2 yrs ago it would have been hard/almost impossible for me to see how beautifully everything has fallen into place from then...back then we had some really hard trials emotionally and I know now without a doubt I am one strong woman to make it through that...there were days that it was so hard for me to see past tomorrow ...But I do know that I would have never gotten through if it weren't for Heavenly Father that I could turn to...A Heavenly Father who gave me a wonderful family...A wonderful Family who blessed me with the most wonderful husband that loves Abbe and me more than anything...

So as I ramble, I know that IT IS ok to do all that I can to help our birthmom to find us and us her and find our baby. I don't need to be embarrassed or feel weird about it...I should be proud that she is out there caring for our sweet little baby that will soon be here and that we want to find her. IT IS ok.

I can do all things...

On a side note from adoption, I had to get three cavities filled yesterday.

I hate going to the dentist and I hate getting cavities filled.

So when I found out that 1 cavity to be filled had changed to three I was apprehensive to say the least.

Then came the gauze, the numbing gel and the two shots in the mouth. In the mouth!!! On the second one, that was actually in the roof of my mouth, I yelled out loud. I have never done this before. Not while getting an epidural, not while getting a root canal and definitely not at the dentist. I was hurt and a little embarrassed and began to cry.

Someone gave me a tissue and they proceeded to work. I had just finished reading a talk from April's General Conference on my smart phone and all I could think about was this quote:

"Not one of the trials and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have access to help from the Lord. We can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us." (More Than Conquerors through Him That Loved Us, by Paul V. Johnson)

Mostly it was the last part that I kept repeating in my head "I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me." I repeated that over and over until a peaceful calmness came over me.

I know that whatever we are going through is for our benefit and gain. The storm comes before the morning dawn. The terrible Friday when Christ was crucified came before his Sunday Resurrection.

And when friend after friend becomes pregnant.

And when month and month brings no baby.

And when your Mother heart just yearns for that little one.

He is there. He is watching. He knows what you can handle. He knows what you need.

And just when you think you can't take it any longer, He helps you make it just a little further. Time and time again.

This is my adoption blog post. My name is Megan.

We are the little Currant Bush

I don't know if any of your were like me but I loved the talk that Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave at this April's General Conference entitled "As Many as I love, I rebuke and Chasten."  Now many of you may be thinking how does this have to do with Adoption already and I will get there...lol...In this talk he speaks about a farmer and a little Currant bush that was on the farmer's land and that the farmer had to prune down this bush because it wasn't reaching it's potential and then related it to chastening.  

He states:

Divine chastening has at least three purposes: (1) to persuade us to repent, (2) to refine and sanctify us, and (3) at times to redirect our course in life to what God knows is a better path.

When I heard this talk this year it totally hit me...I am that currant bush...There have been so many times that I have wondered "Why are you doing this Heavenly Father?"..."We are doing what we are supposed to do and just want to build our family"...(I am sure many of you can relate)...but then I realized (in an awe moment) that I am needing to be redirected to his plan...his plans are better than mine...even if they are hard for me to see or I feel like how can it be at times, they always are. 

He later goes on to state:

"Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith."

... Their faith was immeasurably strengthened by their experience, and ever after they enjoyed a special bond with the Lord.

 The struggles of infertility are enough to try even the most patient people but the rewards that we will have from the struggle are like Elder Christofferson said "immeasurable."

He states:

God uses another form of chastening or correction to guide us to a future we do not or cannot now envision but which He knows is the better way for us.

Struggles bring us closer to Heavenly Father.  I know that this path of infertility and adoption  leads to special gifts that some others will never get to experience spiritually.   We are being refined and purified so that when we do receive these gifts we are ready and can appreciate them.  He wants us to reach our full potential and sometimes we must be cut down like the little currant bush in order to do so...

Finding your Birth-mother and blog Importance...

I have to say that ever since we have decided to adopt I am amazed by all the people I have come into contact with...I mean people who I most likely would have never met that now I get to have a connection with.  I feel really special to have this chance to know all of you!  I love to read all of your strories and life adventures...yes I am a blog creeper to the fullest I have to admit...I read alot...I must admit many of you were the ones that unknowingly helped me to create my own adoption blog  before we were even fully certified...some were so beautiful...some had amazing ideas for me...and luckily only a few had what I didn't want to do, but those taught me ALOT!

When I was learning about exposure (aka: finding ways for us to be matched with our birth-mom) I soon realized I had to have a blog for her to read and for everyone I know to know about this blog.  And so that she could find us or vice versa.  I can not stress enough the importance of any couple who is hoping to adopt to get a blog created, get it on other blogs (links to it/blog buttons) and most importantly UPDATING it! 

I know many of you have created beautiful blogs but if they haven't been updated regularly how is your birth-mother or someone that knows your birth-mother or someone who may know someone who knows her supposed to know if you even want to adopt anymore if it has old posts!  I will say that when I look at other blogs this is the first thing I notice and I wonder "did they already adopt?" or "are they still wanting to adopt?" or "are they even the same now as then?"  I guess what I am trying to say is that the reason you have an Adoption blog (if you have one) is for her and doesn't she deserve to know you!  After all she is going to be your birth-mother...the person who gave or gives your child life...

As a blog creeper...which I know many of you are like me and creep...we want to know what is going on with you so she most likely does too...Since taking this blog over I have seen just how many people blog creep and you would be floored at how much exposure you can have by having an active blog.  If you want to see what it is like just click and see this blogs Feedjit tracker located in the lower left column.  If you click on "real time" which is located on the bottom of the tracker you can see who is coming to this blog and where they are going (meaning which blogs) and where they even came from. Or you can click here and see instead.

BTW make sure your blog has a way for your birth-mother to contact you and that it has a link to your adoption profile with your agency.  This is way important!

Once you get your blog up or if you have one already I am more than happy to post your link on our list of couples hoping to adopt so that you can have the exposure.  You will notice that I have it set so that you can see when someone posted last... I know I don't look at the ones that never post updates so why would your potential birth-mother. But I know I do look at everyone's when they update!

I hope this didn't offend anyone because that is not what I meant to do I just wanted to help since others of you have helped me so much too...

Big Tough Girl!

Hello Everyone!

My name is Ashley Mitchell and I am so excited to write this post for LDS Adoption Connection! It is such an honor and they are so amazing.

I was asked to share a little bit about myself. I am 31 years old, I am married to my Amazing Grace, I have an amazing, beautiful daughter, Tyler Ann who is now 13 months…I don’t know what we did before our baby girl!

I am a member of the LDS church and serve faithfully in the Young Women’s Program. I have an incredible family that I love dearly, I love to read, I love to scrapbook and create art, I love to spend time outdoors camping and at the lake, I am a die-hard college football fan, I think snow is magical and..........

I am a birth mom.

At 26 I found myself pregnant and in an impossible situation. My life was changed forever. I had to make a decision and it was enough to break me. When I made the decision to place my baby for adoption I felt a great deal of peace come over me. I was so blessed to come in contact with the amazing adoptive family that took my son as their own! I have to say that in my opinion the adoptive families are the ones that deserve all the credit and praise in the adoption process. The adoptive family makes it possible for the birth mom to get her life back...to have another chance.

After my placement I spent many years lost and out of control. I never really had anyone tell me what to expect after I placed my baby, I never had anyone that I could talk with about the guilt, sadness and grief that I was feeling. I tried to keep myself together and act like everything was fine but it was almost impossible. I spent years away from the church, drinking, drugs and casual relationships trying to find anything that would fill the void that I was feeling. It took many mistakes and many break downs to finally snap out of it, or to make the "switch" as we like to call it.

After everything that I experienced I realized how important it is to have people around you that understand what you are going through and can help you and teach you from their own experiences. That is where the next chapter of my life took me. I am now a self proclaimed "Big Tough Girl" in the face of all adversity!

In 2010 I founded a non-profit organization called Blessings in a Basket. It was set up with the birth mothers in mind. They have a great need for love, support, healing and connecting and so through gift baskets, life coaching, a community of other birth moms, support groups, retreats and so much more we are bringing that to them. My number one priority is to be there for the birth moms, night and day, offering any amount of information and support that I can.

BIB is set up now to reach not just the birth moms but the birth fathers, the parents of the birth parents, adoption agencies and adoptive families…there are so many ways that people can donate to Blessings in a Basket through all of our different events, baskets, advertising etc. If anyone has any questions about the organization or about how they can reach out and help, they can visit our newly launched website http://www.blessingsinabasket.org/

My son just turned 5 years old in April, 2011…it has been 5 years. I have spent much of that time in darkness and now a year in the light. Giving my son for adoption was the best choice for me and everyone involved. It was in no way the easiest choice and came with the most “side-effects”..but I found a way to get through them. I know that I was watched over and protected, I know that I had more of a story to tell, I know that I had people waiting for me and that needed me. I have been able to reach so many women, amazing “Big Tough Girls” and I am the luckiest person on the planet.

It took a long time to get here but we always try to show where life goes after adoption…give the birth moms the tools they need, life coaching and direction to move forward and not backward, to succeed and not fail, to love and not grieve. We offer opportunities of employment for those interested and help with placement for those looking down another path.

I am not picketing the streets screaming pro-life, I am not a college graduate, I am not a business whiz, I am not well connected in society and I am not wealthy. I am just a girl who found herself pregnant and who placed her son for adoption…I am telling my story in hopes to help one girl at a time!

One in Six!

I recently read this article Dealing with Infertility and Childlessness thought some of you might think this is interesting too...I have heard 1 in 6 couples before like it states but for some reason never thought about this.  That is ALOT of couples...I attend a ward that is enormous in the sense that it has over 190 children in the primary alone (yes it is a baby factory....j/k) and when I think of this, this is hard for me to think this is true but what I don't know is the struggle that many may have had to have those children or that in someone else's ward they may have more infertile couples than mine...

The article states:

Couples who are not able to have children may experience a wide spectrum of feelings—jealousy, despair, envy, isolation, and bitterness. They may feel singled out for an ordeal few others seem to experience, and they might find it difficult to fit into social circles where everyone else has children. The anguish can go so deep that seeing a baby can feel like a knife in their hearts.

I know I have felt like this before!  There have been times when I don't even know what to say...My husband and I raise my 10 year old daughter whom I had before I met my husband.  James and I don't have any children together and people assume we are done or only want(ed) one...Little have they known that we desperately have wanted children for years...

It further states:

Men and women tend to react somewhat differently to infertility. Women often experience profound grief and sadness. They tend to cry a lot and to reduce their anxiety by talking about what they're experiencing. Men, on the other hand, express fewer anguished feelings and seem to be less affected by being childless. They generally don't feel as free to talk about their feelings and tend to have less opportunity to discuss them with friends. 

How many of you are the cry-ers?  That is me for sure...not recently but it comes in waves...I am sure you can relate!

I especially liked this part of the article but think it can most definitely apply to friends as well...unless you have struggled with infertility yourself or have had a person really close to you go through it, you most likely don't get it and can risk saying some really dumb things to those that struggle even though you never intended to:

 

What Can Family Members Do to Help?

Couples struggling with childlessness need support from family members and friends. However, it's important not to be intrusive into this very private dimension of a marriage. Here are a few tips to help the ones you love.

• Show understanding and acceptance.
• Listen without giving advice.
• Let the couple know you are there for them.
• Don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.
• Give the couple respect and privacy.
• Don't offer false hope.
• Don't joke about infertility.
• Don't suggest solutions, such as infertility treatments, adoption, or foster parenting. These are options that should be privately discussed between a couple.
• Don't offer the commonly repeated misinformation that a woman who adopts often gets pregnant soon after.
• Learn about infertility so you can be an informed listener.

After reading this list they should also add if the couple is certified to adopt and waiting to be chosen by a Birth-mother DO NOT ASK

"So How is the Adoption Going?"

I know people are just trying to be caring but really this HAS got to be the worst question you could ever ask someone that is wanting to adopt and waiting.   Trust me they will tell you first or you will see them with a child and by this you will know "How the Adoption is Going."  By asking this it only brings up the painful reminder that they still aren't parenting the child they so desperately pray for or that a birth-mother has not chosen them to care for their child...

Instead ask them "Is there anything I or we can do to help with your Adoption?"  This shows you are thinking about them and they might really need your help!  Ask them if they have Pass-a-long cards that you can help give or if they have a blog/site you can link to your email signature for others to see.  Trust me they will always remember you asked and that you cared instead of thinking about the fact that they are still waiting!  Hey and you never know you may just be the one that helped them find their baby!

If you want to read the entire article you can click here

 **Original article was written by Jeremy S. Boyle, Research Assistant, edited by Stephen F. Duncan, Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Thank you!

Dear readers:

For the longest time, I have been worried about future of this blog, and now I am so pleased to see that it is in good hands.  Thank you to everyone who has come together to make this blog a wonderful resource for those involved in adoption.  Thank you for your support!  I am sad to let this blog go, but I know it's time to do so.  It's been wonderful being a part of it!

Sincerely,
Brittany :)

Adoption in the Clothing Aisle

Yesterday I went to a local huge Thrift store in hopes of finding some good summer clothes for my kiddos. As I was going through t-shirt after t-shirt in the boys section, looking for the good navy blue and red ones that my twins wear, I ran into a lady who was also looking for a few good t-shirts as well.

I made a comment about the t-shirts and she made a comment and pretty soon we were chatting up a storm. She mentioned to me that she had adopted two girls from China.

Upon hearing the word "adopted" I just lit up. "My husband and I are thinking about adopting as well." I went on to explain a little of our situation. I hadn't thought about adoption seriously until I began thinking of the earthquake in Japan and all of the children who would need a family. Japan is very hard to adopt through but China is a lot easier. As this woman put it: "China has it all streamlined." The process takes longer- six months to a year- so the children are usually a little older than a newborn, but since I have had my birth children, I began to wonder.

Is this an option for me? Do I want to adopt a child from China and all that that entails? I'm not sure. But a little, tiny seed has been planted in my heart- just like adoption was- and it is beginning to grow.

And I want to ask all of you out there- how badly do you want to adopt? Are you willing to go through other agencies besides LDS family services if it would get you a baby sooner? I know that as we keep all of our options open whether it be using different agencies or even going international that the Lord will bless us.

I pray that those of you are certified to adopt find your children soon and those of us who aren't certified yet to keep trying and pushing forward.

Megan

Beautiful...this video is...

I just saw this on one of the birthmom blogs I follow...It is so beautiful...you can feel what they feel...it's without words...what an amazing woman she is!  I hope she doesn't mind that I am sharing it all with you...

If you would like to visit her blog it is:  http://myangelsfromgod.blogspot.com/

Infertility and your Husband...

 

I came across this excerpt about this book today and how cool is this!  There really is nothing out there for husbands to read or help them with the process of infertility it is all for women.  I am really curious about this book and most likely will end up getting this.  Husbands really have no one to talk to about it...it is more of a girl thing.  We talk to our friends or Mom's and yeah we feel alone but they really have no one to talk to...How many guys out there do you know that go and talk to other guys about why their wife isn't getting pregnant or how the struggle of infertility might make them feel as a man.   Check out the video below, it's the Author on the Today show...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Here is the direct link to the article about this book!

**A little disclaimer...I am not saying that I agree with surrogacy since it is featured in the video, it is just what they happened to choose...