Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Open Adoption: Trend?

Adoption is a practice that has been used for thousands of years to find families for parent-less children and children for child-less couples. Evidence shows that the ancient Greeks, Romans, Babylonians, and even the Egyptians all had different systems of adoption used in their cultures.

While practiced long before formally and legally recognized, the United States began to recognize the practice of adoption around the 1850's. In fact, Massachusetts was the first state in the United States to pass a law, the Massachusetts Adoption of Children Act of 1851, stating that adoption was a social and legal operation based on the welfare of a child rather than adult and human interest and first used the judiciary system to define, in complete subjectivity rather than uniform, objectively measured and defined limits, "fit and proper" adoptions.

From there, adoption slowly evolved. The field of social work was created as well as many organizations like the U.S. Children's Bureau, Child Welfare League of America, and more states began to acknowledge and pass laws related to adoption. In 1919, the first empirical research study was conducted to study adoption; How many adoptions were occurring, of whom and by whom. Adoption agencies, both public and private, were created. The Child Welfare League of America initiated a minimum set of standards for those seeking to adopt a child in response to baby farming and growing concerns about the families children were being placed into in 1937. Over the 1930's, 1940's, and 1950's, adoption agencies began sealing adoption records. Attitudes began shifting toward the closed adoption thinking (Read about the rationale here, under "Record Closure:"  http://www.researchetcinc.com/historyofadoption.html)

The trend of closure (record closure, identifying information closure, etc.) continued during the 1960's and 1970's. Slowly, still, ever so slowly, adoption trends began changing along with cultural and social changes. By the 1970's, adoptees began to speak out more emphatically than before, blended families began to be recognized as "normalized," birth parents and adoptive parents were allowed to exchange non-identifying information, birth parents were able to choose the adoptive family with whom to place their child, and by the 1990's and early 2000's, social workers began encouraging open adoptions. People began researching and studying the effects of open vs. closed adoptions. Princeton published this article in 1993, weighing the risks vs. benefits of open adoption. Since then, several more organizations have studied open adoptions. Here are a few for you to consider:


These studies and information are barely the tip of the iceberg. Because adoptions were closed and are rather recently trending toward complete and various stages of openness, researchers are still studying and postulating hypothesis and theories whether or not it truly is better to be open vs. closed. They're studying the effect of adoption on children throughout the adoptees entire life. Some see attachment theory as a trend similar to Freudian ideals. Some see openness in adoption as beneficial. 

I can read millions upon millions of studies about the history of adoption, current trends in adoption and adoptive parenting methods, adoptive cost analysis summaries of benefits vs. risks for thousands upon thousands of different scenarios. Some have a legitimate foundation, some, I feel are hair-brained idiocy. What I know to be true, as an adoptive parent with one open adoptive relationship and one closed relationship with biological families is this: Our open adoption is healthier for our family. Our family struggles with the secrecy and questions left surrounding the closed adoption. Right now, one of our children struggles with adoption related issues and has extreme and often severe behaviors that may or may not be directly related to adoption. Not all those who were once adopted have difficulty processing or accepting adoption. Because of our unique, yet not at all uncommon difficulties, I feel adoptive families are NOT given enough pre-adoption education on the POSSIBLE difficulties they might encounter throughout their adoptive child's life. When those issues DO arise, IF they are going to happen, adoptive families need to be given respect, love, and support instead of ridiculed, called bad parents, and made into media sensations to discourage adoption or propagate negative stereotypes and stigmas surrounding adoption. Adoption has the ability to take children out of some really icky situations and places and place them in normal, human families that will do their best to care for them. 

Open adoption works for us. I don't care if people merely consider it a trend and liken it to Farberizing trends, Freudian trends, Erickson trends, or any of the other child development, child psychological, or adoptive and adaptive trends. In 30 years, perhaps somebody will research our lives and relationships in correlation to adoption and the impact the current adoption trends and culture have had on my children throughout their lifetime. What will they find? I don't know. I truly worry about my son and can see negative impacts in his life because of adoption. I also know that he is an amazing little boy that will do marvelous things, regardless of a one-time event that took place 7 months after he was born. I do know that I am a better person for being accepted by non-genetically related family members. Because of my parent's open, honest, loving relationship with what some consider "step-family," but was just considered "family" in our home, I have a model and example of how to function with non-biologically related family. I have an emotionally mature, functional, and loving relationship with my daughter's biological family. I cringe when I hear "closed adoption," and my heart hurts because of our experience with it. I support open adoption. It may not be for everybody; it isn't for my son's first mother. But, open adoption is for me. It is for my husband. It is for our daughter and her birthmother....her WHOLE birth family. We pray it will be for any other children we bring into our home through adoption and will welcome their biological families into our family with open arms. We don't care if open adoption is a trend, to us, open adoption is love. So, in my mind, the only question about open vs. closed adoption is right for you and your family?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Hope


Waiting during the adoption process is excruciating, isn't it? Even actively seeking with faith and hope is often excruciatingly painful. Our family has felt this lately. For some reason, our two adoption miracles have latched onto the thought that they need more siblings. They ask frequently and talk constantly about whether or not we will be adopting more siblings for them. If only it were as simple as it seems in their minds, right? Then, they look at me with their chubby cheeks and cherubic eyes and I feel torn. Shouldn't I simply be grateful to have these two miracles instead of longing for one more? Especially when so many are still waiting and longing for their first child? Three is my "magic number;" my husband has always longed for four children.

As we've experienced these family-growing pains, we've knelt in prayer and poured our hearts out to our Savior. We felt our prayers were heard and answered, not because we've already been able to adopt twice, but because our hearts felt peace. We were reminded of that peace and loved this promise given by President Boyd K. Packer during General Conference today. We pray it brings peace and hope in your adoption journey also!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Hi!
I'm Sheyann and I'm very excited to share the 
adoption life-lessons of my family with everyone.
I blog at www.andysclan.com and www.allofmymonkeys.com

I met my husband, JJ, in 2002 and we were married in 2003. Exactly 4 month after we were married, we began trying to conceive a child. We were living in Rexburg, Idaho, attending BYU-Idaho at that time. Everyone around us was getting married and having children, we were of similar mind and couldn't wait to be parents! 11 years later, we are grateful to have our 2 children, who came to our family through adoption. We have one closed adoptive relationship and one VERY open adoptive relationship with our children's family. 

I can't begin to count the number of times we wondered if we'd be given the sacred calling of being parents of Heavenly Father's children. Then, we wondered if there would be only one, or two. More often than I can count, our adoption dreams seemed difficult, frustrating, hopeless, and endless. However, as I listen to General Conference today, I decided my first posted needed to share hope and strength.


Choosing adoption to build ones family requires endless courage, strength, and will undoubtedly come with seemingly endless challenges. Each of our adoption dreams and experiences will be different. Our family has experienced failed adoptive matches, three pregnancy losses, inquired about hundreds of waiting children, have been presented to final adoption selection committees (foster adoption process and waiting child process) about a dozen times, been foster parents, dealt with emotional and financial adoption scammers, have successfully adopted twice. Adopting is quickly becoming more difficult financially and due to increasingly difficult laws, but what I know more than anything else is this: When it is right and supposed to happen, things will work out. I look forward to sharing more of our experiences with everyone!

  So, to help me get to know everyone, please share where you are in your adoption journey!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Looking for help to run this blog!

It has been a while since Elise or I have posted and I feel it is fair to say both of us are so busy currently...I feel we need to ask for help...There are many of you that love this blog...I love this blog but I just don't have the time to write for it right now at all barely. 

Would like to help run the blog?  I know many of you are amazing and able and would add some really great flare to it!  Please reach out thru the facebook page msg if you are interested so I can add you on to the blog! Thanks again ahead!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Sixteen and a Mom...

All I know is I just watched this and I am still teary...ALL of you need to watch this.... birth mom's and women considering placing for Adoption should too.  My husband ended up seeing it on TV about a month ago and kept saying "Deanna you have got to find this movie and watch it" I should have watched it sooner but I can see now why it touched him so dearly since Audri had just been placed with us.  I am so thankful for the selfless sacrifice that Audri's birthmother made for her and us...there are no words....

**This is a full uninterrupted version...**

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Good News!

I am so excited to announce some adoption miracles! Starting with the most recent:

James and Deanna have welcomed a beautiful baby girl into their home on Wednesday with about two days notice! Can't wait to hear more details from them. Check out their blog for their announcement post! http://alittlefamilyblessing.blogspot.com/2013/05/surprise.html

Que and Brittany experienced quite the whirlwind in their home in April. They are now a family of four with the addition of a sweet little girl!!!!! Woohoo! Congratulations!!

Love sharing goods news with you all. I'm sure Deanna will check in when she can, but we can all understand she has her arms full of snuggly newborn goodness so she will be busy for awhile!
Soak it up girl! :) -Elise

Friday, April 26, 2013

Helping a friend bring their Baby home!!!!


I know this is unusual but I want to ask you all for HELP for our friend Kristina Brown! They are ADOPTING a special needs little girl and they desperately need HELP TO BRING HER HOME! 
PLEASE consider helping them they have 15 days to hit this need to have her!
WE CAN GET HER THERE!!! It's ONLY $2500!!! 
Even if its $5, $10 every dollar counts!!! 

HERE IS THE LINK TO DONATE:  
https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/6Uuyd



Their family was never expecting to adopt again after the loss of their daughter last year and IZZY just appeared so they applied and they were CHOSEN out of 500 families that wanted her!!! So They KNOW the Lord is involved!!!



"Last year our 18mo old sp needs daughter passed away. We pretty much destroyed our savings between her funeral and all the time missed from work while we were grieving. We have since been matched with a sp needs 2yr old in Texas.. We have to make our way to texas for training on how to take care of her sp needs. Feeding tube/brain tumor/ blindness.. We have to pay to fly there aprox 800 with flight and hotel.. then 1200 to 1400 to an attorney and another 500 to fly our daughter and the case worker here...". - Kristina

Please Help them make their Dream come true... Thank you and God Bless....
https://fundrazr.com/campaigns/6Uuyd

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Birthmother's story...

Why is Tamra, an LDS birth mother, rocking the adoption community?? 

She said "I've seen people tell me after the fact, "Had I known the information, had I heard your story, I would have placed my child [for adoption] and they would have had a better life." I've had people who have had abortions tell me "Had I had accurate and current information, had I heard your story, I would have made a different choice." 

"God was using me to find his family. On this mortal side of things it looks like I shared him with them, but in reality they shared him with me. And the reason is because I needed him too. God got 2 birds with 1 stone: Justin had to go home, but he saved my life on the way." -Tamra



Tuesday, April 2, 2013

LDS Adoption Connection Facebook Page!!!



HEY Everyone!  We have officially hopped on Facebook!!! Can you please visit our Page and "Like" it!!!  Just look look on the left column next to this post and click on the box and it will take you right to our page!!! Let's spread the word and help others know about LDS Adoption Connection!!!


Monday, April 1, 2013

Saturday, March 30, 2013

AMAZING NEWS!!!




Amanda - I hope it's ok I posted this, I just loved this photo of you with Ella!

Brian and Amanda have welcomed their little girl home!!! We are so happy for you both...and yes she is such a cutie! Ella Jean was born on March 14th!  Please visit their blog to see just how cute she is and to read their placement story!!!

http://wewouldlovetoadopt.blogspot.com/


Dave and Ashley have also Adopted too!!! They welcomed a little boy!!! Can't wait to hear about how their little one came to their family!

http://daveandashleyareadopting.wordpress.com/


Friday, March 22, 2013

Adoption Pass-a-long Facebook Photos!

So as many of you know last weekend I did an Adoption Media Blitz for James and I to find a potential Birthmother!.  All I can say is HUGE success as far as getting the word out and going beyond Viral! I even had a News station locally call me today because a producer in the station saw my page and they want to maybe feature us somehow about our adoption page!  Cuh-RAzy!! (I have to admit I got the idea to do this blitz so to say from my friend Amy's Blog...she posted about it some time back and I knew I had to do this...

Many of you need to read that post on my personal blog so that it can help you in your quest to find your baby!  I know I have been putting somethings in my posts lately that are kinda different but you guys need to be thinking different!  One of the things I did in addition to my post on my blog was to share about it on my Adoption Facebook Page!  This was a key component!  I was also interactive with my Facebook audience and they did a stellar job sharing and liking the posts so that all things would go viral and share thru their feeds!  One of the best ways was with these photo's.  I call them Adoption Pass-a-long photos!  Think about it we all have these cards and yes they are totally great but if you really want people to see your card make a photo version and post it on FACEBOOK!  These have gotten THOUSANDS of views on my Adoption Facebook Page.  How did I make them? www.picmokey.com of course!


 It is important to have a few of these so that it gives your friends a variety!  The more your friends also KNOW you and your story btw the more likely they will share!  People want to HELP people...make it personal!  Facebook is an amazing tool!  Get to know peeps on there, help them, connect them, refer them, and trust me they will help you if you need it! You Reap what you Sow!!!  Be the person God intended you to be and the person others want to KNOW!!!!  (That reminds me...we will talk about your personal Facebook pages on another post...hint: be interesting and Inspiring)


Sometimes, when I communicated thru my page I also attached a photo and sometimes not...And always share your Adoption Page's picture posts on your personal facebook...(I do it a few hours later though so it will show again or maybe in someones feed that didn't see it shared from my page!)


Lastly, This is the photo I changed my Timeline cover to for the ENTIRE weekend.  On both my Adoption Facebook page and Personal Facebook.  I also sent it privately to some close friends and family and asked them to post it as their cover photo as well.

Again, I know we are all on this Road together so I want to make sure all of you know how amazing I think each and everyone of you are!  I know this was a HUGE hit helping us already and may be the key to finding our birthmother and I know it may be the key for you too:)

Til the next post!
Deanna


Saturday, March 16, 2013

FYI

Just wanted to give you all a heads up that if you received a lame email from me this morning it obviously was not me...someone in "Turkey" had hacked the LDS Adoption Connection email...We have fixed it and taken care of the issue but a red flag would be it saying my name as the sender of the email so don't open it....sorry:(

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Drop Box...

I learned about this documentary from an article about the young man that produced this documentary and knew that others needed to see this...It is inspiring and so moving to say the least...You will see why you will also want to see this when it comes out fully...



If you want to read the article I saw re: this video and learn more about the young man that created it, here is the link: http://www.wnd.com/2013/03/22-year-old-wins-award-for-film-on-saving-babies/#comments_open

-Deanna

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Adoption Blog Headers and Facebook Covers!!!





Do you want to know how I made this header for my Facebook cover and my Adoption Blog?  


Well, I was googling and looking for a way to fix my personal blog header, my blog has had some technical challenges/glitches (hence why it isn't doesn't have a cute blog background) and I found this blog post on this girls blog that helped me know how to use this site.  I love google! (well for this that is..lol)

The site is called PicMonkey.com !  OMGosh I LOVE IT!! You will too!  It was a little tricky to do the sizing part that she speaks of since I have made my blog wider but it may be easier for you...You can make cool Facebook cover pages too! I feel like I just stumbled on a Goldmine!  It's awesome! 

btw- I put it on my personal page and my adoption Facebook page...hence why I have the blog address on the header...the one on the actual blog does not have it.  Remember, you want as many people as possible to know you have an ADOPTION BLOG and even if someone isn't friends with you on Facebook and you comment on a post they can go to your page and still see your header and that YOU WANT TO ADOPT!  What if they know someone looking to place!  Every exposure helps!!!

-Deanna

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Calling on you...


 We want to hear from you!  
  • What would you like to hear more about? 
  • Are there topics on this blog that you want to know more about? 
  • Do you want to know more How To's (ex: social media)?
  • Are their questions you have?  
  • What ever it may be please let us know...


You can email us @ ldsadoptionconnection@yahoo.com or you can just leave a comment below:)

LDS Adoption Connection Has a new button!!!!  
PLEASE POST our button on all of your amazing blogs so others can learn about this amazing resource to help them with their adoption journey or learn more about Adoption, or because you just LOVE... LDS Adoption Connection!!!

Share Our Blog Button on Your Blog!!!

Hoping to Adopt
Just copy/paste this to add to your blog!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Feature Post: Daniel and Christy

One of my favorite parts of administrating this blog is getting to feature hopeful adoptive couples. If you would like to have your family featured and you are currently certified to adopt, contact me at ldsadoptionconnection at yahoo dot com. Thanks! -Elise
Meet Daniel and Christy
There were fireworks the day Daniel and I met. Literally. It was the 4th of July and we were out with a group of friends. That was the first time I recognized Daniel’s potential as a father. We were sitting on a blanket as we were waiting for the fireworks to start. A little boy was nearby blowing bubbles and Daniel was playing along, catching them and making that little boy smile and laugh. I’m not ashamed to admit that it was the moment I started to fall for him.


We’ve been married for nine years and we’ve been hoping for a child for almost that whole time. We’d discussed adoption when we were engaged and we both felt like it was an option for us. It’s such a blessing that we’ve been able to work toward this dream together and we’re excited that someday we might be chosen to become parents. We’re hoping to have an open adoption so our child can know and love their first family.

We are artists in our own ways. Daniel draws and I’m a photographer. I’m in love with running. Daniel could spend days reading. We are both a little geeky since Daniel’s love of Star Wars and Star Trek is contagious. We have a dog named Doozer who absolutely adores little kids and keeps us laughing. We have a great life and we are excited to have the chance to be parents through the miracle of adoption!

We have so much more to tell you about us, so please come visit us at http://amalg.us and feel free to drop us a line or ask us a question on our Q&A Tuesday blog posts!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

That we may "Not...Shrink"...

James and I had a friend text us last night in the middle of the night about this talk and that it made him think of us...I think the friend probably thought James had his phone muted since it was around midnight when we got the text which means our friend was watching at 1 am Idaho time! lol

Anyways, back to my point...I watched this while I got ready for church this morning and boy oh boy was this GOOD!  I am going to watch it again today so I can gain some better understanding of the talk.  I don't know about you but Elder Bednar has such a way of explaining things that has helped me in the past so much.

As I watched, it made me think I needed to post it here on the blog...I know I am not alone in the struggle of infertility or to grow our family...I know many of you will see what I saw when you listen to what he shared...SO so Profound.  I am grateful for amazing friends that share the love of the Gospel with us...no mater what the hour hay be...We are truly blessed.

-BTW Elder Bednar begins speaking at 19 minutes in...



-Deanna

Saturday, March 9, 2013

ADOPTION BLOGS!!!

So after some thought and many questions coming at me about blogs I have decided to write a post about starting or updating your Adoption blog!

Some of you may be thinking where do I start... this is hard? or  I already have one now I need an adoption one? or You mean I have to put my feelings or thoughts or info out there on the net? Or I am not good at this kind of stuff! or Everyone else is soooo much better than me at that kind of stuff or theirs looks way better than mine... Well, I will tell you these are all very valid questions or thoughts and some of them may be totally true and some well may be all in your head!

I will say this as I have before in the Social Media post I wrote that YOU need to have a blog!  No, its obviously not required...lol...and yes your birthmother may come to you in a totally different way but it is the best way to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and who you are with others that YOU ARE WANTING TO ADOPT with exception of Facebook but blog posts can be highly integrated into Facebook.  And if you are not on Facebook at this point you need to read the social media post....

So where do you start?

For starters I would say user blogger.com (its linked to gmail).  Wordpress is way harder...well not as user friendly if you don't have a clue what you are doing.  When I started my blog  I had never done anything like it... Blogger is really user friendly and even has simple templates you can use to get started and all you have to do it pick which one.

 **I know many of you already have one of these but everyone starts somewhere!**



What should you have in it or on it?

Well for starters, I want you to look at the hoping to adopt blogs that are linked on LDS Adoption Connection and I really want you to look at them pretending you are an expectant mother looking to place the child you are carrying...Can you tell they even want to adopt?  Can you find info about them that tells you who they are?  Did they write a letter to you?  Did you feel like you already know them without meeting them?  Do they feel feel like old friends or do they seem stiff and uptight...or do you feel like they are your family?  Do they say they want an open adoption and do they feel like they want one?  There is a difference?  Do they allow you to feel what they are going through?  Do they inspire you? Do they make you want to know them more and that you can't wait to read their next post?  Do they have Facebook?  Can you learn more about them that way?  Was it easy to navigate their blog? Was it boring? Was it ugly or attractive?

These are things you MUST think about when you create your blog!  These blogs are to represent you yes, but they are for someone else to read!!! Would you want to read your blog? Seriously!  You need to ask yourself that question... I know I am not a candy coater and with this kind of stuff no one wants one of those...

When I decided to create a blog I CREEPED everyone else's and looked for all the parts I liked and definitely notated the ones I didn't like!

Contact Us!

You must give a birthmother a way to reach you on your blog...Create an email just for your adoption and put that on everything (Facebook, parent profiles, and your blog).  It would be the worst to have a birth mother want you and you never gave her a way to reach you...seriously its a duh! lol




Update Your Blog!

Some of you may not like what I say next but oh well! You really need to have a blog that you actually write on and update!!! Some of you out there have blogs that you call "adoption blogs" and all they are is another version of a parent profile or it's about love.  Although many of these blogs are super cute they are somewhat stale...yes stale (don't be offended just hear me out)...they are stale because anyone can create that and they don't tell a potential birthmother that you are STILL in fact wanting to adopt.

They say nothing about what is happening in your life, nothing about if you did indeed get placed with,  nothing about if you had a failed placement and how it felt, and it usually never says if you are indeed matched?

They say nothing...And worst yet is that when friends of people put them in their blog lists on their blogs they are at the bottom since they never are updated..thus a birthmother never clicks on them!  No one really clicks on these since they are at the bottom...They click on updated blogs...seriously again think as if you are them:)



Allow your posts to be Shared!

On blogger you can allow in the footer for your posts to be shared on Facebook...you want to add this function ASAP!  You have no idea how many times I wanted to share someones specific post and they didn't give this option...uhg! I love to share peoples stories so you want this on there...

This is also how YOU SHOULD share your newest posts on to your Facebook adoption page!  From your adoption Facebook page "THEN" you share it to your Personal facebook page because then your post will show where it was shared from (your adoption Facebook page) and people go to your page and "like" it and then their "like" shows in the Facebook newsfeed of ALL the people that person knows! cool huh!

p.s. see how on this picture the "show shares" box is not selected...you want to make sure it's checked!!!



Lastly...facebook and blog buttons!

You need to get these...create an adoption page if you haven't see social media post....and post these on your blogs...many people blog and they are happy to post a blog button on their blog for you.  You may say "Deanna how do I do that?"  Well, I just googled it that is how I learned I had no clue! But I found you this link and it will walk you thru it:) I also hunted on others blogs and copied their html and added my links and picts.  When you pick a picture for this you will want to make sure your picture shows your faces...make sure you are thinking "will someone want to click on my button?"  Is it boring or attractive! Does it say I want to adopt?  Hint: I used a picture of my wanting to adopt pass a long cards.  I worked great!

These need to be on your blog for others to "like" your Facebook page and be aware that you have one and for them to help you...they could be big time bloggers and have lots of traffic come to their blogs and because you have a button and they "know" your story they post your button on their blog!  Some of my coolest online friends came about because we were creeping each other's blogs and felt like we knew each other already!



I hope this has helped a bunch of you out there and again I am not trying to offend anyone just help...this is like a buffet table, take what you like and leave what you don't...lol...

**I am hoping to maybe have a birthmother write a post as well regarding blogging and Facebook too...if you are one and are interested please comment below or email me at ldsadoptioconnection@yahoo.com:)

-Deanna


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

By His light...



I just read Kurt and Shaileen's post...and I am so broken hearted for them...broken hearted is an understatement...As someone that has felt the raw despair of a devastating failed placement recently I know first hand what they feel...It is a feeling that I hope no-one ever has to experience...the feelings are so indescribable since the pain is so immense...

I am not sure why some of us have to experience such severe trials, but I do know that thru these we gain much understanding...we become better people..more resilient people...more compassionate people...more understanding people...we become who Heavenly Father wants us to ultimately be... Heavenly Father does not forget what we endure...even if we have at times felt forsaken...He is there...

In the days after what happened in our placement reversal with Emerson...I felt numb, I had no desire to eat, I felt forgotten at times, I felt love and peace even though I felt such pain, I would have waves of tears that would hit, when I noticed I was ok I felt guilty because I was so so sad, I felt like I was living in a paused nightmare-like dream so to say...thru this pain Heavenly Father was able to show me how much James and I are loved...how everyone cared so much for us even though we were barely communicating with anyone...he showed me how to ask for help when I needed it and showed us how to allow others to help us...before this I would not have asked... 

When I read what Kurt wrote he reminded me of James (my husband)...both are such incredibly strong men...You can see how Kurt loves Shaileen so much...and how his heart breaks for her pain...I am not sure how to describe how this pain feels...seeing your spouse in such anguish is again nothing I would ever want anyone to experience...Kurt is an extremely strong man...as James, Heavenly Father prepared them to care for their wives...to console them...to strengthen them...to be the one to speak for them...to hold them...

In closing, I ask that all of you take the time to pray for them, pray for K as Kurt asked, pray for baby boy, pray for them to have understanding and peace...for them to feel all the love we and those around them feel for them, pray for them to feel closer to each other and the Savior more than ever...And lastly, when you do read their post please leave a comment...you all have no idea how much those comments on my posts and Facebook or in emails meant to me and James and still do...even though they may not respond at this time they will remember them and it DOES make a difference...

Kurt and Shaileen's blogpost:



An Open Adoption Documentary

Adoption Isn't Selfish

Straight from a Birthmom...

The Open Adoption Project via The R House